Last week it got cold enough that we shut the windows and turned on the furnace. And hoo-boy! Can I just say I admire you women who clean up after pets after wiping mini-bums all day? If you find yourself with a pet who pees in excitement, or fright, or laziness, or whatever, ON YOUR CARPET, take that pet straight to the POUND.

Ok, fine, keep Lassie, but get yourself to the pet store and become the proud owner of a Nature’s Miracle Blacklight. Even if you don’t have a recalcitrant pee-er, kids think a blacklight is the funnest thing since those glow-bracelets from the dollar store — especially if they have freckles, which look really eerie.

Husbands who like gadgets think blacklights are cool, too. Enough that they’ll treat the dog stains asap even while turning a blind eye to the dishes in the sink. And speaking of eerie, here’s a look at Dick’s toenails with the flash off:

After you’ve identified your problem areas, simply apply Nature’s Miracle (smells like rubbing alcohol) or OdoBan (with lemony undertones) or white vinegar THOROUGHLY. And voila! You are pet-odor-free.

That works-for-me, though next time I buy a house (hopefully never, unless we’re talking a beach house), I think I’ll insist on viewing it at night, just me and my black light.

Jane