No — if you liked the books (the Twilight books, that is), you’ll probably like the movie. Even though Edward seems to be fighting dysenterial vomiting at the beginning rather than a burning desire for Bella’s blood, and even though Rosalie looks fat and ugly. (Sorry. I realize she’s probably a size 2, but her bum is big, and she’s not very pretty — should’ve tried Jennifer Siebel from Life).

Wow, looks like we're in need of a feeding. Know of any good deer herds 'round here?

Charlie, oh Charlie. Charlie is the awkward character in the books, the father with no idea what to do with his preternaturally “mature” daughter. In the movie, Charlie is the only character who acts rationally and says anything that actually makes sense. Plus he’s a lot yummier and younger than I had imagined. Let me comfort you, Charlie!

The biggest problem with the movie? (Besides the after-school special feel of several scenes and the pancake makeup over 7 o’clock shadows and the mushroom hair and too much lipstick on the men)?

Whereas while reading the books you can mentally insert Romeo and Juliet star-crossed lover-ness, blahblahblah, in a movie theater crowded with the target audience predisposed to LOVELOVELOVE the movie, there were way too many “romantic/tragic/romantic” scenes that got laughs instead.

I’m not sure why, but maybe it was just too much of a stretch to imagine any un-lobotomized person saying (out loud, in public, on purpose) “You won’t hurt me” “I trust you” “I DON’T CARE” upon first learning that the object of her desire is a vampire who wants nothing more on earth than to drain her body of blood.

I know you’re in love, it’s uncontrollable, it’s emotional, it’s perfect (except it’s not), and it’s sooooo REAL, but, geez, maybe you want to take a few minutes to think it over before extending your neck to someone not sure they can control themselves from KILLING YOU?

Hmm. Not sure why Chrysanthemum still looks hungry here. Girl needs a feeding, bad.

That said, I had a lot of fun going to the midnight showing with my Seagull Fountain friend Chrysanthemum, who was able to see Mormon themes of eternal life and perfected bodies and committed L.O.V.E., in the film. I only beg her that we not be covered in glitter after the Resurrection. Please?

Yeah, don't think those Rasinets are gonna do it, Chrys.

What’d you think? (And have you bought stock in Summit Entertainment yet?)

Jane

Here’s Spot in the pool yard, not swimming. 

Usually we save movies for when it’s too hot to be outside, but last Saturday we gave up on that and took the kids to Horton Hears a Who at the dollar theater. That’s Call Me Princess Ruby in the front and Miss I Like to Dress Like a Pioneer in the back. Girls are so blessedly anti-violence.

Horton Hears a Who is an awful movie, even worse than Bee Movie, and if I were a homeshooling mom, I’d be UP IN ARMS over the outrageous vilification of the “pouch-schooling” kangaroo mom, who is the source of everything evil and intolerant. Who writes these movies? 

Our diet deteriorates drastically stays about the same during the summer. Susan is so helpful: here she has shredded the chicken nuggets into microscopic pieces for Spot.

In anticipation of hot days, we bought economy-size sunscreen, swim rings, diving toys, and sunglasses for all. Sally wears her sunglasses at night. I think Corey Hart’s a little old for her, which is good, because otherwise we’d be beating him off with a stick.

Spot got a little depressed about the weather and hit the bottle.

I’m praying for a warm front. I don’t know how much more sparkling apple cider Spot’s system can take.

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