One thing that has made this experiment possible (besides financial necessity, which is always a great motivator) is that my relationship to food has changed this pregnancy. Instead of wanting to try new things every day, I am often just trying to get something on the table. It has to be relatively healthy, and I’m finally feeling up to making some of my favorites (bread, yogurt) from scratch again, but now that shopping and cooking are more of a chore that just has to be done on a more regularized schedule, it’s actually less of a hassle than it sometimes was before, and I find it just as satisfying to make a meal plan once a week, as it once was to get a craving and make that dish hours later. A case of restriction feeding rather than starving the creative impulse.

A couple other things: being on a strict budget ($150 a week total for all grocery/discretionary/household/entertainment spending, except gas, which I’ve cut back a lot on incidentally) makes me realize how little we need, especially in the way of prepared or convenience foods (or toilet paper. Kidding). Also, once I make a rule for myself, it becomes a matter of honor to stick to it, and since it’s not a forever thing but more in the manner of a goal, it’s almost fun. So we may not have any fresh fruit on Friday night: that’s a good excuse to eat the canned apricots in the pantry. $150 sounds like a lot to me; I’m sure many frugal people are able to live well on less, and before this month I would’ve guessed (hoped) I spent that little (though my bank account knew better).

But what I always want to know (especially when I’m in a rut) is what’s for dinner? I once made a seven-week meal plan that carefully balanced beef/chicken/fish/vegetable meals with rice/noodle/potato/bread accompaniments, but then I never felt like making things in that proscribed order. So now I look at cookbooks and AllRecipes and TastyKitchen for ideas and take things one week at a time. I usually add a salad or veggie sticks or frozen peas and corn or green beans or brussels sprouts as a side. (Costco has the best frozen corn ever. My kids like brussels sprouts so much I start to worry they’re aliens until they do something kid-like and complain about onions. In the spaghetti sauce! Call 911!)

My sister keeps binders of recipes and always makes notes of what worked and who liked what, along with the date and any alterations. I can’t imagine going to that much work without hoping that someone, somewhere will learn from my misadventures, so here you go:

What was  for dinner last week (I can’t remember the order, and I can’t assign days beforehand either. That just seems too regimented):

Chicken Piccata (The chicken and noodles were a big hit, but the sauce was a little tangy for the kids, and, fine, me too. I added lots of extra cream and broth, which made a huge quantity of sauce to languish in the fridge.)

Spaghetti Squash Lasagna (I make this just like regular lasagna, only I substitute baked spaghetti squash for the noodles.)

Sloppy Joes (It’s a long, tragic story, but I accidentally added about a 1/2 cup of salt to this recipe, (which I had doubled), so then I quadrupled it. It was still too salty, so nearly three pounds of sloppy-joed hamburger are in the freezer waiting for redemption. This is a good, easy recipe for serious comfort food, especially on homemade buns.I’ll make it again, once time has dimmed our memories.)

Chicken, Vegetable, and Barley Soup (This was good. I threw in the leftover sauce from the chicken piccata which gave it a lemony tang. My kids weren’t impressed with the barley. They wanted “noodles.” A couple days later I threw in some cooked ramen and they fell on it like devouring beasts).

BBQ chicken pizza and a pepperoni one for the kids, though Susan preferred the chicken. I used the 5 minute artisan bread as the crust, and it was the best pizza crust I’ve ever had, soft and chewy on the top, crusty and crunchy on the bottom. I didn’t have purple onions, and I’d used up my parsley, but I sprinkled fresh basil on it. Basil is good on any pizza.)

What’s for dinner this week (again, not in this order. Probably):

Thai Curry Chicken and Rice (I bought green curry paste for this — now I could make a rainbow of curries — and I’ll probably have cilantro and limes on the side, because it’s Thai, and I love cilantro and limes. Oh, and I’ll use chicken that we canned this summer, which means it’ll be on the shredded side, but with strong flavors like this it’ll be a fine economy.)

Stephanie’s Macaroni and Cheese (I’ve wanted to try a baked macaroni and cheese with swiss cheese even though I don’t like swiss cheese by itself. Stephanie makes good food, so this seems like a good one to try.)

Spinach and Feta Pita Bake (I have a great recipe for pita bread from Chrysanthemum, and this’ll be a nice change from the (delicious) chicken salad we’ve been stuffing our pockets with.)

BBQ chili (Yes! Inspiration strikes for my too-salty sloppy-joed hamburger in the freezer. I bought dried black and red beans and have 5 gallons of dry pinto beans. Beans will soak up that salt like nothing else. And Tom has been asking for BBQ chili ever since we had it at that church cook-off when my white chicken chili took the Honorable Mention. Ingrate. I’ll also make Marcy’s cornbread that’s really more like corncake even with the buttermilk. I haven’t found a great recipe online for BBQ chili, so unless someone has a link, I’ll just throw stuff in.)

Crab Salad (This is one of my favorite pasta salads ever. I use sugar instead of artificial sweetener, of course, and fresh herbs whenever possible instead of the dried, and twice as many vegetables as noodles. I’ll used canned chicken in this too, because even fake crab costs more than what I’ve got in my pantry, and the kids aren’t crazy about crab anyway.)

In conclusion

I hope that gives you some ideas, even if what not to do, and at the least, I can look back at this in a few months and have two weeks planned for me. If you have any (easy, cheap, delicious) favorites, I’d be most grateful for a link or notes. I try to let each child pick one of the five meals, and involve them in cooking with me. I find they’re more likely to try things when they’re invested that way, plus I can’t wait for the day when each of them has a day of the week to cook from start to finish. Five meals works out well; then we have leftovers for Tom’s lunches and ours, a night for quesadillas or breakfast for dinner, and a night for cleaning-out-the-fridge-you-don’t-get-anything-else-until-this-casserole-is-gone.

I hate that it is the number one thing that Tom and I fight about too, because we don’t have one of those marriages. We have a happy marriage.

But bring out the budget talk, or, worse, the Freelance Eviscerator Taxes, and . . .  Let’s face it, it’s mostly me. (Because I always do the taxes.) (And because I am a shrew the likes that would make milquetoast Bianca look good.)

Do you fight about money the most? (If you never fight, and by fight of course I mean “discuss rationally and lovingly but from understandably different points of view” then try to make something up, because I already feel bad enough.)

Most of the time I feel really grateful for the money Dick brings home. He also doesn’t complain about his job like he did when he was teaching, which is good because then I don’t feel like telling him to shut up at dinner because AT LEAST YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO LOOK FOR KID SHOES TODAY. SEVEN TIMES.

But house-hunting, even in a housing “slump,” is stealthily depressing. It’s like how I usually feel pretty good about my body, just glad I have shoulders and knees and elbows, but then I try on clothes, or get my picture taken with anomalously skinny people, and suddenly I am plunged into a real slump.

Here’s a great cure for the money-grubbies: Global Rich List (via FMH). Someone asked me tonight how the BlogHer Ads thing is working for me, and I was embarrassed to say that I still have not remembered my password, so, beyond meeting some great other bloggers (like Marianne and Beth) in my “circle,” I don’t really know how it’s going. I’m sure millions of dollars are waiting for me to claim.

I started with BlogHer after talking to a bloggy friend of mine who joked about how she would be retiring soon on her $28/month ad income. So I thought it would be instructive to see how an income of $336 a year (28 x 12) stacks up:

Since I know my bloggy friend has a couple other sources of income, it’s probably only of interest to me that if one were to make just 336 dollars per year from one’s blog, one would be richer than quite a few people in the world. One would also be annoying for saying “one” all the time.

For those who don’t measure everything in terms of blogs(!?!), Wikipedia says that the median household income in the U.S. is $46,326, which stacks up like so:

I just have two words to say about that: Ho-ly Cow.

If only there were a website that could make me feel this positive about my body. It would tell me that, compared to most mammals, like whales and elephants, say, I really look like this:

Subscribe to What About Mom

—-

I have fought the Finance Frump before, and probably will again, but I hope this helps in the war against all manner of frumpiness!

Most criminal use of taxpayer money ever!
You want me to stimulate what?
Hallelujah! Money! Money! Money!
Why didn’t we have another kid in 2007?

Second: The best way to spend it is:

Save it all, baby.
Blow it on 79 cute shoes.
Invest in a Mutual What?
Add to our buy-a-home nest egg.
Donate to a local food bank.

I guess my bigger question is whether anyone else feels like they’re financially frumpy? Because, honey, we are. Oh, we paid off our “consumer” debt with our tax refund last month. But we’re stuck with a student loan, car loan, and a itty bitty substantial loan to both Dads for the Florida-house fiasco. And whenever I remember the Zabaleen in Cairo, I know that we are blessed more than we could ever deserve or earn for ourselves.

So, even though I know most (all?) of you are probably better examples of fiscal responsibility than me, I’ve listed the principles of financial frump fighting that we have found to really work (especially when we actually follow them). Would be very grateful for any other ideas you may have.

Fight the Financial Frump

• Pay the Lord first.
• Save 10% (Especially if by contributing pre-tax you get an employer-matching contribution).
• Make a budget (Track fixed and discretionary expenses, set goals, blah blah).
• Factor in some Mad Money so you don’t feel too deprived (This one’s easy to follow!).
• If you’re really serious about sticking to a budget, use Dave Ramsey’s envelope system. This worked for us in Japan; helped that it was short-term, with a big goal in mind (saving enough to move to NYC for graduate school).
• Plan for “emergencies.” Everything always costs more than it should. Especially those doctor copays and birthday presents. Use your employer Flex account if available (not for the presents, unfortunately).
• Adjust your perspective. Really this is the biggest one. I am not as well-off as I think I should be. I’m not as good-looking or smart or creative as I feel like I should be either. And, worst of all, I’m not as grateful, patient, humble or NICE as I should be. But hey, at least I am self-aware, right?

Then Sally came home from school with a conscience, and a song. I think I may have been premature in diagnosing her as tone-deaf. She can definitely follow a tune. In more than one language, yet.

(First in English): I tell the truth, the truth is what I tell. In any situation, I can never fail with ho-nes-ty, wooo-oooo ho-nes-ty. I leave the Spanish translation to your imagination; You’d never guess from Sally’s accent that she was American.

Today’s discussion topic (Now children, when you’re home with your mom and dad, ask what they would do) was What would you do with a hundred dollars? Dick said he’d buy a microphone for his podcasts.

I said I’d . . . well, to be honest, I didn’t say anything because I was trying to block out the entire conversation. The kid’s lucky to have one parent paying attention at any given time. Two would be overkill.

Sally said she would buy a fancy house and a cat, and then give the rest to charity. I think we’re all feeling a bit freakin’ bonkers stir crazy being indoors this winter. So a fancy house means one with room to run around in AWAY FROM MOM, and the cat is a recurring refrain. Whatever. But she would give the rest to charity. Dick and I are obviously doing something right.

Nothing involving reality, or awareness of the world, money, value, cost, or anything of that sort. But, still. It’s inspiring. So, does anyone want a really cute vest?

The worst thing about shopping online is that it is so easy to spend money.

Credit cards are like monopoly money, only easier to get cashiers to accept, and if you’re online somewhere where they memorize your information, you don’t even have to get out your credit card (of course, you don’t have to get it out if you have the number memorized either, which I don’t, of course). Which is a good thing, because my kids, when they’re not screaming, are emptying out my wallet and hiding all my cards in their own special purses. Next to the Kix.

Itunes is the worst. At first they pop up that box asking if you really want to buy this song, but you can get rid of that nagging conscience pretty quick-like, and then you can buy one song after another with nary a dollar or cent or plastic thingie in sight. I know, I know, each song only costs 99 cents, but it can be a shock to see how quickly that turns into real money. And I don’t even really like that Maroon 5 song, or Kelly Clarkson. So she’s catchy. Sue me.

I think maybe we’re spend-a-holics, or is that buy-a-holics, even though usually (unfortunately) my biggest extravagance is too much spent on gourmet (!) treats at Wal-mart. Like fruit cups and pudding cups and cute little yogurts. Lots of things that need spoons, so then I have to buy white plastic spoons in bulk ’cause my dishwasher’s still making that sick cranking sound.

But June from ByeByeBuy has become June from ByeByePie, and now my inspiration to stop spending is not doing so much for me in the inspiration to stop eating pie department. Probably because I’m not eating too much pie (it’s not Thanksgiving yet, is it?), but I guess ByeByeCaffeineFreeMountainDew just doesn’t have that ring.

And online shopping will never compete with the Costco lunch. No free food samples, no acres of indestructible concrete cavern floors for the kids to run around on, no refrigerated fresh-produce section to explore in wonder as if it’s not minus 10 degrees outside. No cheap-ish pink princess shoes in bulk, and no churros and polish sausage and a 55 cent re-fillable fountain drink. Bliss in a wax-paper cup.

Shopping in person — the truth is, I never left you. All through my wild days of empty browsing on half/ebay and amazon and oldnavy’s clearance, I kept my promise, don’t cut up my credit cards.

***

this post inspired by Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer. only 11 million of her closest friends signed up for her last carnival, and i felt bad for her.

But despite a bond forged over losing the first house we bid on and miscarriage commiseration, I’m still pretty ticked that she urged us to offer just over the asking price three years ago, and didn’t march us down to the police precinct to check out the crime statistics. What was she thinking?

But that’s over, that’s done. We’re not thinking about that any more. No seller’s remorse allowed. Better to just be out of that situation completely now we’re into a pre-recession or full-out recession, depending on who you talk to. And it turns out that we may be, comparatively speaking, in a pretty recession-friendly state right now.

Basically, if you were poor and knew it and acted like it before the recession, and if you have a stable job and reasonably good credit and don’t already own a house, things might actually be looking up. But what if you didn’t know it or weren’t acting like it?

Apparently, one only needs to make $50,000 to be a part of the trading up crowd, or as Tiffany’s puts it, the “midtier luxury consumer.” Of course, they probably weren’t thinking of a family of five when setting the 50,000 starting point. Although Dick and I did shop at Tiffany’s in Manhattan once. I had a gift certificate from my second favorite job of all time, as a secretary in the Economics Department at Columbia University.

I loved that job. I usually wasn’t very busy, and I got to yak with fun women and eat yummy (free) lunches and help plan parties and generally play at being an adult (this was before and right after Sally was born). Maybe it was my number one favorite job of all time. hmmm.

Anyway, Angela, my boss, didn’t laugh when I chose a Tiffany’s gift card for my 175-ish Christmas bonus. It was probably a good thing that I only had under 200 to spend, because what I really liked at the time, besides the canary diamonds, was the Blackberries china pattern. Welcome to Pooh Corner, anyone?

Now, I know all the words to Moon River, but I think it’s safe to say that the prize quality in cracker jacks has sadly deteriotated since 1961. So we got a sterling silver baby’s first spoon and had it engraved for Sally. It’s still safely wrapped up in the soft blue cloth envelope, nestled in that pretty blue box. Maybe we’ll let her see it when she’s twenty-one.

In the meantime, Dick will gratefully wear his thrift shop trench coat that he initially scorned. (Hard to feel superior when it’s like Siberia out there). And I’ll pass up that $400 handbag in favor of my $14 Shopko hobo, and just be glad that I probably won’t even notice my ‘sudden’ inability to buy 200 dollar jeans.