Every birthday and Christmas for the past two years, I’ve offered to let Avery get her ears pierced. Every time she has declined, asking instead for books and swim stuff and roller blades and, this year, a punching bag. This morning we had a bra crisis (note: best to own at least two of the acceptable variety at all times) and ditched school for the mall, in search of the perfect under-t-shirt 32-A and new goggles.
Avery was wearing the clip-on earrings Nana brought from Florida this week, as she has every day since Nana’s visit. I mentioned she might want to think about the ear piercings, because the short pinch of pain in the beginning is worth saying goodbye to slow death by clip-on squeeze. It’s like the difference between tights and leggings, I said, except even better because regular earrings become even more unnoticable once they’re healed.
She thought about it for awhile and I struggled between ensuring it was her choice and thinking we should seize the day before she got scared again. She chose the blue-green zirconium in the white gold post and gripped the arms of the chair tightly.
Tonight I asked her if she brought it up or I did. She remembers it being her idea, which is good, because as I stood there patting her hand, I was impressed that her eyes almost filled but she didn’t cry, she got quiet as she waited for the sting, and once it was over, I felt sick to my throat. While she was relieved and excited, I was filled with mother’s remorse.
I felt like a conspirator to the murder of my daughter’s childhood. It would’ve been easier if she hadn’t looked so grown up in that chair. I can’t even remember getting my ears pierced at eight. Compared to my period starting at thirteen and holding hands with Chris Hansen during a U2 laser light show at sixteen, getting my ears pierced was nothing on the child-to-woman continuum.
Except now I realize it probably was, that or the day I became aware of my underwear showing while doing a cartwheel. (I don’t remember that day, either, but having girl children of my own, maybe that’s first).
I’ll keep telling myself: it was time. She’s almost eleven. It was her choice, and now I don’t have to find a punching bag for Christmas.
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She is so beautiful. How is it possible she’s made it half-way through the seven year uglies without being ugly? I’d be worried boys will start chasing her by the time she’s 13.
Pretty. Our girlies are growing up. Now you need to get her a pair of snowmen earrings like I did for Livvy for Christmas!
Shannon Reply:
December 8th, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Except she can’t change hers until after Christmas. Next year!
Wow, so grown up. Now the picture I have of Avery in my head will include earrings. For your info – the picture in my head is of her engrossed in a book, because that’s how she is the majority of the time I see her. She’s a girl after my own heart & a chip off her mother’s block.
ps – we couldn’t get our ears pierced until 12 so I remember it well. i also remember the rebellious, un-permissioned excursion to get just one ear double pierced while I was at Education Week in UT with my girlfriends during high school. what crazy stunt will i come up with this year!?!
Shannon Reply:
December 8th, 2011 at 8:42 pm
I was thinking of my own un-permissioned single second piercing too, bec I was only 17, but somehow we bypassed the under-18-requires-guardian paperwork.
My first daughter had her ears pierced at 8. The next at around 6. I’m already rarin’ to go on Livi’s and she’s only 4. Can’t help myself! I think ear piercing is only the tiniest of blips on the scale from child to woman. I think you’re okay.
Shannon Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 2:15 pm
It was a complete surprise to me when I felt so sick/sad afterwards. I really think it might be better to do it younger–it seems like less of a big deal, which, as you say, it really isn’t. Maybe we should take Molly and Livi this week!
Emily Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Let’s do it!
We got Zach a punching bag. And, Avery needs the snowman earrings because it’s winter until April/May here!
Shannon Reply:
December 12th, 2011 at 2:16 pm
So can Avery borrow it sometime?
My husband and I used to disagree about when we would let any daughters of ours get their ears pierced–the girls in his family are not allowed to get their ears pierced until they’re at least 14, but my mom let me decide on my own. I was eight when I got mine done, by the way.
We finally agreed that the minimum age would be eight (you know, age of accountability, but ultimately, we will let our daughter decide