Yesterday I was rocking the wax wings. I ground wheat for bread, I was happy with something I’d written. I let Tom sleep in while I took Avery to school, I got Callie into her uniform on time. I made a video of Molly nursing in one take and didn’t even mind Lucy’s “help.” Feeling pretty good. I’d volunteered for the first time the day before (I’m about a million hours behind for Callie’s charter school on volunteer hours). I had plans to distribute updated visiting teaching routes for church (only a couple months late). Oh, and I’d dyed my hair, showered, and actually had on lipstick from the video-making.
All before noon.
Came home from taking Callie to afternoon kindergarten and realized I’d left the oven on for the rising dough, instead of turning it off after it got just a little warm. Wheat grinding, wasted. Bread making, foiled. The video wouldn’t upload. Avery brought home a paper about parent-teacher conference and wrote “I hate myslef” on it before handing it to me. I got her to laugh by asking who “myslef” is, but now I’m watching to see if she’s going to start cutting herself, or if this is just more of the “you hate me” dramatics we get when I ask her to unload the dishwasher. She was 11 minutes late to dance class because her book was more interesting than her math.
All before dinner.
I cleaned up the kitchen while Callie did her homework and Lucy colored. Tom was at church meetings. I thought, seriously and hard, about making cookies, but decided I was just too tired. I nursed Molly to sleep, read books to Callie and Lucy. Avery came and snuggled in my bed. I told her I loved her and she said, me too, I mean I love you and Dad. I let her read as I drifted off to sleep under my soft eyemask.
This morning there’s no milk for breakfast. I think this is just the beginning of a not-so-great day. Then I see the leftover spaghetti in the fridge. Callie has been asking for spaghetti for breakfast for weeks.
Maybe we can do this.