Let’s see if I can pound this out before Molly wakes up (again; I woke her at 6 to nurse before my jogging date).
Sometimes I get all twisted up inside, coiled and ready to explode because my life seems endlessly drudgeristic. I’m depressed I’m not going to graduate school or frustrated that I don’t have some fabulous (money-making or not) avocation to color my days (these dreary winter gray days, letting less and less light out between the terrible elongating dark).
I snap at the kids, yell at the kids, impatiently (and fruitlessly) demand “Why?” when they’re acting like kids.
Then I hate myself. It’s not their fault they’re acting like kids, it’s not their fault I’m their mother, they didn’t ask for me — I asked for them, I wanted them, this is the life I chose, the life I choose everyday, and THE LEAST I COULD DO IS BE A GOOD MOM.
If I can’t win the Nobel prize in literature or argue a case in womens’ rights before the Supreme Court or travel the world in luxury, THE LEAST I COULD DO IS BE A GOOD MOM.
Yesterday I realized it’s probably not the least I could do; probably when I figure out self-control and patience and unfailing kindness and unconditional love and coaxing of curiosity and acceptance of human frailty and nurturance of individual aspiration and supporting of pure, forgiving love for others — probably it won’t be the least I could do.
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Hi, first of all let me say since I have started reading your blog i am reading almost all ur archives and just when i opened your blog, i saw a new post and I actually felt as if I am personally meeting you
Haven’t even gone thru today’s post but yes just feel amazing. You write so well I just dont have words enough to express. Just that i like to read each and every word you write 
God Bless.
Oh, so perfectly expressed. And I am so with you.
It must so be the weather. I said a while ago to Mr. Brady that I don’t have many grand ambitions in life; I don’t need a career or to be noticed for anything outside my family. I just want to be a good mom (and wife, but that’s easier most of the time with this husband, for me). So, when I put all my life into being a mom, why do I still fall short over and over??
Oh, Shannon, I love you. Thank you for this.
The work of motherhood does feel like drudgery so much of the time. I wish there was a way to mentally separate the drudgery of housework constantly redone and refereeing and discipline that feels so ineffectual from the things that do give me joy (especially when I’m going through periods where those things feel so few and far between). Motherhood is torture by a thousand cuts sometimes.
The weather doesn’t help either. I’m NOT much of a one for getting out of the house, but it does break from the doldrums, and I hate it when going out gets to be so much of a hassle that it’s no longer worth it.
But I love how you say it here, and it’s a good reminder for me right now: being a good mother really is part of the plan of happiness (which is *not* a sardonic title, though I might say it that way in my head
), and not just because it’s important to have kids and I love them, but because motherhood teaches us so many aspects of Christlike behavior (and not just martyrdom). It MIGHT be the least that we can do—but for our children and our souls, it’s the most important thing we can do, EVEN when we wish for fame, fortune, glory, praise, honor, or PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEJUSTGIVEMEONELITTLEMINUTENOTTOHAVEOTOBOWTOYOURWHIMSANDWILLS!!!
Apparently it’s about time to renew that focus in my life, too.
Thanks for this!
Shannon, stop reading my mind. It’s creepy. And I miss you.
I know. I know.
plus I love the word drudgeristic.
Shannon – this is like the biggest problem among women ever. At least in my world it’s the biggest. I knew this already, but this article says it beautifully: http://powerofmoms.com/articles/the-other-mothers.html
You’re amazing. Love you!
You are a great mom. The proof’s in the pudding… or in this case the kids. Your’s are amazing.
I feel exactly like this pretty often. Thanks! Its nice to hear that others feel the same!
Oh, sister! You have expressed perfectly the feelings I had raising my babies. I know my daughters often feel this way now. Thank you.