In my defense, after a shaming call from the school secretary and a hasty run to school

Dear Mrs. Brown,

I just wanted to explain and apologize — I’d never send Callie to school if I thought she was sick. I had a baby a week ago, and she’s been the center of attention since then, including all our talk about how much she spits up. This morning Callie came back from washing her hands and said she’d thrown up, but luckily it was just in the sink, and so there was nothing for me to see. I assumed it was a bid for attention or trying to be like the baby. If she does throw up or have any other symptoms tonight and tomorrow morning, of course I’ll keep her home tomorrow afternoon, but otherwise I’ll send her, because I think she’s just adjusting to the baby. (At least I hope so!)

Thanks!

Callie’s Mom who probably won’t get a nap today after all

In other news:

When Lucy first saw the baby, asleep on my bed, she said, “What is that baby?” in a bewildered voice. I said, “Remember baby Molly, how you were always giving her hugs and kisses when she was in my tummy?” Uh-huh, she did. Well, this is baby Molly now that she’s out of my tummy. Lucy was not impressed, and declined to hold her new sister that first day. I don’t know what she was expecting. Now she is a champion baby watcher, eager to tell me when the baby needs more “feedbreasting” from my “magic boobies” (those are Tom’s words).

Callie told me the second day, “Isn’t it great to be a mom? You get to have so cute babies!” Callie is also sure to suggest the breastfeeding whenever the baby cries. I had to tell her last night, before a major emotional meltdown (of mine) that I was taking care of the baby as best I could and of course I would try the breastfeeding, but I needed her to stop reminding me.

Molly has a bit of the reflux I think, which has been most difficult during the already difficult evening hours, and probably (hopefully) made worse by my too-full milk supply which should even out shortly. So far keeping her more upright during feeding and holding her on her side (instead of belly-to-belly) while I burp her has helped. Last night she slept for a five-hour stretch! Since she weighs ten pounds I didn’t wake her, but sadly I was unable to sleep after awhile, waiting for her to wake up, worried whether she was still breathing — apparently some things don’t get better, even after four kids. It also doesn’t help that in my more-heightened state of awareness, Tom’s snoring is even more irritating. Perhaps he will sleep on the couch tonight.

And I should mention Avery. She will hold the baby for hours on end, but will not yet change a diaper. We’ll have to work on that, since this kid is a pooper queen. And all my memories of breastmilk poops not stinking were misleading. Possibly they smell much better than regular food poops, but that is only relative, and in the meantime, they stink quite enough.

I have a clogged milk duct — in my armpit, but at least that’s better than armpit cancer, which I’m sure would be embarrassing on top of painful. (Not that the duct is painful; it’s just a bit tender, and since it’s the biggest side affect of breastfeeding I’ve ever had so far, I’m not complaining, believe me.)

I am going to write the birth story, soon. For now, I’ll just ask you to keep in mind two things: A) I did do it without an epidural or other painkiller (though I did take a percocet a couple hours after — felt like I deserved it, man). and B) That stuff HURT. If it had gone on any longer, who knows what kind of drugs I would’ve begged for — probably some illegal varieties. So all I can say about that aspect is — do what you gotta do, eh? In an informed manner, naturally.