please?
(How Spot gets my attention, shaking the Aspen Mills Honey Whole Wheat at my elbow while I sit at the computer, and once I turn to acknowledge her, she tacks on the please? in a high, placating voice with a fake smile.)
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Daddy’s Girl
Susan informed me yesterday that she puts both of her socks on first, then her shoes, not one-sock, one-shoe like I do.
(I have a horror of getting interrupted in the middle of putting on my shoes — Hi, I’m a Mother — and then getting my socks wet, so one-sock-one-shoe-and-then-the-other-sock-other-shoe, is my motto. Which I didn’t realize until Susan pointed it out to me.)
But Susan is sure her method is right, or at least equally valid, because: “That’s the way Daddy does it. Daddy and I do it the same way.”
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Sally came home from Activity Days where they did mysterious, secret things with yarn (“A potholder for Mother’s Day?” No.) and went straight back out to roller skate with the neighbor girls. At 6:15 (she was late for dinner, but dinner was even later, so I skipped the caning) she rushed into the house, flushed and breathless, having tryed Megan’s older sister’s in-line skates and not fallen once.
Why am I so relieved, ecstatic, jubilant when my kids find something easy? Wouldn’t it be better if they learned now what a hard, miserable slog life is?
(kidding.)
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Teaching kids to do chores (cheerfully, without being asked, without nagging, without criticizing good-faith efforts) is the hardest thing I’ve done so far as a parent — even harder than potty-training and getting up at night (which is saying a lot). On Monday, before my nap, I asked Sally to do her dish job and the other kids to try not to mess up the downstairs much, because we were having guests for Family Home Evening. I staggered downstairs at 5:30 pm, to a clean kitchen, and to Sally directing the other two in picking up toys and putting away shoes (and she wasn’t yelling; they weren’t rebelling!). They even had the vacuum cleaner out. I almost cried; I just about had time for it, because they had saved me so much work.
This, this once-in-a-lifetime glimpse of how things could be, is why I have hope for the future.
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How did you get Sally to do that!?! Please share. Teaching kids to clean is soooo hard. My kids are great at almost everything else. Cleaning? Not so great. (I guess a mom can’t expect perfection.)
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My kids are often all about who the most resemble in features and habits. It’s kind of cute! As for the chores, I find it can really depend on the child. I have one who does it, no questions asked and with a rare complaint. The other? Gnashing of teeth every time. And then once in a while she’ll surprise us and do it all on her own. It’s a serious crap shoot!
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It’s those rare moments when they surprise you and do it right without all the usual reminders and angst that keep you going as a parent. It definitely differs from child to child, and is not necessarily gender-related. I had a neat nephew who always picked up after himself without being asked. He even complained when someone else left a cabinet door open.
It seems to me you’re on the right track, even if, on any given day, one or more of your girls may be on it with you, or no where near it at all. Hang in there!
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My kids always clean better/faster/without whining if it’s for a good cause (ie: someone coming over to be with us)!
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I have those moments that show me I am right track and the chore thing will eventually go smoothly, then the next day I think I must have failed them and they will all live their lives in pig sties or be the subject of horders documentaries. Opposition in ALL things, right?
I can’t get past the one sock, one shoe thing. Really?!? My feet are cringing as I type. I may need to re-put on both socks and then both shoes before I head up to bed just to get the willies out of them.
Um, I mean, sounds like an interesting technique. Isn’t it wonderful how people do things differently? {But still- my feet are CRINGING}
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