Comments on: I promise this isn’t becoming a dream journal. Stay with me, this one actually makes sense

By: Sharla

Sharla — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:34:49 +0000

I love hearing about your crazy dreams. I have crazy dreams like that every night, they just get much more real and emotional when I’m pregnant.
And this makes me think….is it a sacrifice if we realize it is? Or is the real sacrifice when we are doing it without realizing what we’re losing? Hmm….

By: Charlotte

Charlotte — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 03:57:16 +0000

If I am ever actually in Maine, I will send you a picture. Meanwhile, if you’re ever in NYC or Boston, you are very close to my actual home and welcome to visit.

Interesting concept. I suppose life is always a process of choosing our sacrifices. Deciding what is the higher or most pressing claim and what we have to give up to achieve it. Right now I am sacrificing sleep to comment on this post.

Sometimes we sacrifice something prized merely for something more pressing, other times we truly give up something less important for something more so. (I’ll let you decide which one my staying up late is).

By: Emily H.

Emily H. — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 03:52:57 +0000

We too talked about sacrifice today and how it’s all perspective. To some birthing four children (or any children) and giving up a career or education or double salary is a great sacrifice and yet for many of us, it’s simply what we do because we know the blessing and joys will far outweigh the heartache and any regret. Of course there are times where it seems like a huge sacrifice (those five-hour nights of sleep multiple nights in a row; half a salary spent on cases of diapers and wipes; PB&J for lunch instead of a fun lunch with girlfriends), but in the grand scheme of things it’s not a sacrifice but more an awesome responsibility and wonderful learning experience chock full of blessings. (At least I’m telling myself right now as I sit her cross0eyed due to exhaustion.)

By: Jane

Jane — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 23:53:37 +0000

I totally agree. And the way that definition is, even when you’re enjoying parenthood, it still qualifies.

By: Jane

Jane — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 23:52:59 +0000

I only remember my dreams, or dream vividly, when I’m pregnant, so it’s kind of a novelty for me.

Yes — some things just never get resolved, and we can not think about them during the day, but at night, they sneak in.

By: Jane

Jane — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 23:51:54 +0000

That’s an interesting point, and I’m be more worried about using my children as an excuse to not challenge myself, if I didn’t have the example of my mother, who just went back to school at 52, and if I didn’t realize, more and more that I have a lot of choice over how I spend my time. Sure, I don’t want to go back to school or work full time right now, but I can choose not to do PTA or tons of lessons/activities for the kids. I can instead do any informal course of study I want to.

So for a long time I kind of blamed my kids for my lack of other progress, but then you see so many women who have interesting lives and fascinating interests (not including crafting, for example ;p) that kids are not really an excuse. Except when they’re newborns.

By: Becky

Becky — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 22:40:46 +0000

It doesn’t seem like such a sacrifice sometimes. Other times it seems overwhelmingly like a sacrifice. Parenthood is funny like that.

By: Audrey

Audrey — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 15:35:25 +0000

I loved your thoughts. My dreams never seem to have symbolism other than, as you stated about a person from your past, I always seem to be trying to resolve the issues that we never talked about. That’s frustrating because I don’t even want to be thinking about him let alone trying to spend my wonderful hours sleeping, resolving conflicts that will never be resolved.
Your thoughts on sacrifice are wonderful. Good luck with your lesson!

By: toyfoto

toyfoto — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 15:07:51 +0000

My mother always said that she never sacrificed for us. As a mother with two kids of my own, I can understand what she meant. She enjoyed us as children. It gave her pleasure to take care of us. It didn’t feel like a sacrifice.

But she did sacrifice. She quit a job she loved (she was a nurse at night) when I didn’t wake her up one day when I came home from school at noon. She slept until my sister came home at 3. She never really got another job, and i think it sapped her sense of value when we were grown and didn’t need her as children do.

When you say that you “only” sacrificed your ambitions, that is a huge price that has a ripple effect. I now firmly believe sacrifice isn’t always the best thing. In some ways, even, I think it helps you ignore doing things that challenge you most.