My daughter is 13 and has a friend (who is LDS) who is no longer a virgin. Luckily we already had the talk and could discuss the repercussions of the her friend’s actions. Isn’t the saying work for the best and prepare for the worst?

One of the things I see is how little information parents give their kids about sex. You should hear the myths these kids tell me. It’s horrifying. I believe, in a perfect world, abstinence should only be taught in the classroom. But that’s based upon parents actually talking to their kids. I think a lot of parents think that if they talk about their kids will do it. Not true. They will at least have good, accurate information.

One thing I would like to see the Church do better is maybe come out with what to talk about so parents can give information, without feeling like they are giving permission. I think a lot of the talks are basically about intimacy, and times when it’s appropriate, etc., which is great, but honestly, you need to talk about birth control, STDs, pregnancy, petting, how oral sex is still sex, etc. DETAILS.

Sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox now!

One of my roommates at BYU (how many great/funny sex things do you hear at the Y?) insisted on pronouncing penis “pennis”; she thought that sounded much less dirty or something.

I have always been open and direct and it wasn’t that awkward when we became specific. When my husband taught the boys (10 & 8 at the time) he brought out the anatomy books.

My talks include the things you mentioned, too. No reason to make them scared about it, it is after all a wonderful thing.

Also, want to know slightly uncomfortable? When they get the slightly off color references you make. Those are only funny when just your husband gets them.

I recall when I found out that I thought it was an awful thing. I was 9. I told the boy in my class that I would NEVER do that. He told me, “You parents did it.” And I said, “No way! We’re Mormon. They don’t do bad things.” lol

I did feel embarrassed and scared that I learned something like that. I felt like it was a dirty secret I knew. There was no way I was going to tell my parents I knew something like that.

So, yeah. I need to have that talk.

And then later (I was 16 or so) she realized she forgot to mention masturbation and oral sex. That was a short talk. According to my mom oral sex is “if what you’re picturing is gross, then that’s it.”

They also assured us we could come to them with questions, but to be honest, I didn’t really trust them to answer well, so I never did. Most of my sex ed was from public school. I learned about the clitoris in an online BYU health class, which was useful, but still probably years too late.