Several weeks ago I went to my first prenatal visit. I told the doctor I was either seven or eleven weeks along, and we did an ultrasound to get a better idea of just how unreliable my memory is. It was early morning, I was drinking water like mad so I could give a sample later, and when the doctor put the wand on my lower belly, there was nothing to see in my uterus.
Five months before that, I had gone in at seven weeks because I was bleeding, and we saw a potato-shaped lump in there, but no heartbeat.
This time there was nothing. No pole, no body, no heartbeat. I wondered aloud if I was having one of those psychological pregnancies, or if I’d read the home test wrong, after all (I felt heartbroken, and also foolish). We did a urine test, which was positive, and figured my body could have already resorbed the embryo (the “products of conception”) or maybe it was ectopic, or something.
Thirty-two hours later I was at the hospital for a fancy ultrasound. I told the tech, as she led me back, that I wasn’t expecting good news, that we hadn’t seen anything on the machine at my doctor’s office, that this would be my third miscarriage, and that I was okay with it, really.
She turned on the machine, squirted me with the cold jelly, pressed on my belly, and said, “I don’t know what to tell you pumpkin, but there’s something in there, and it’s got a heartbeat.”
A heartbeat of 152, in fact, and confirmation that I was seven weeks and four days along.
(I have a very retroverted uterus, which I knew, but didn’t think of, and also, turns out that you cannot emphasize enough how important a full bladder is for ultrasound imaging.)
Since then I’ve been miserably, gloriously nauseated. Well, more miserably, but I’ll say gloriously for the purposes of posterity. It’s certainly better to be nauseated and pregnant than nauseated and not-pregnant. During the thirty-hours I thought I had miscarried again, I was so angry to be still nauseated. Luckily I didn’t turn to drink or start smoking crack, but I did refuse to take my prenatal vitamin that night. Sorry, baby.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about my desires for a more natural labor this time around. I’ve had three children, three epidurals, two inductions, and until a couple years ago, I thought my labors and deliveries were just about ideal. There were no major complications, no forceps or vacuums or c-sections (and my babies were all healthy, no small consideration).
But my epidurals were never wholly satisfactory. Though I usually started with a “walking” epidural, I have a small scoliosis in my spine that makes the numbness affect only the left side of my body until second and third doses are given and I lie on my right side and then end up flat on my back, afraid to so much as shift or I’ll fall off the bed, I’m so numb. This makes for awkward laboring.
I’ve been thinking, since following Rixa‘s and Heather‘s blogs (and even Dooce‘s), and researching more about the effects of medical intervention on labor, that I would love to have a a less-interventioned birth. More importantly — a more prepared, educated birth, a more aware-of-my-options and in-tune-with-my-body birth.
My two ultrasounds at seven weeks are so metaphoric (illustrative?) in this context. The second, more invasive (including a vaginal wand) ultrasound (intervention) was even more unnecessary than the first ultrasound/intervention, and yet, once I had had the first, I could not forgo the second. I was glad after the first, I told my mom, that at least I had found out early, and that we could do something about it instead of suffering severe nausea and delusional happy baby daydreaming for no reason. And I was even gladder for the second, for obvious reasons.
But I can’t say that I honestly wish I hadn’t had the first ultrasound, or that I would not have an (early) ultrasound with another pregnancy. My previous miscarriages make me unwilling to “trust nature” or “trust birth” to the extent of not needing (emotionally) — medical proof that there is a tiny heart beating away in my belly.
In thinking of my previous labors and births, I have felt ashamed that I took so little responsibility for or control over what happened. That I took as much initiative in childbirth as I did in going for an appendectomy at age fourteen. Why wasn’t I more curious to learn about the actual process, more empowered, more determined to experience, more eager to do it well? Why was I so passive? (I am not a passive person usually.)
So I had a stack of books to read and grand plans to see if I could find a midwife (preferably one who would know of a woman who would let me observe her birth — despite being delivered of three babies myself, I really have no idea what a natural birth would look/be like). Or maybe I would just watch Ricki Lake‘s documentary and listen to Hypnobabies.
But I have been so sick and snappish, so despairing and disgruntled and unhappy, I have not read a single book or written a single line in my birth plan.
Perhaps I am merely lazy. Thinking of this concentratedly enough to write about it, I remember my former passion to make this birth special, but when 3 pm (or 11 am, lately) rolls around, and with it, the turbulent esophagus, unsettle-able stomach, and general misery, I am sure of two things: that I just want this to be over, and that maybe I should be easier on my pre-enlightened self. Maybe she just wanted to lay down and rest, too. (And who could blame her?)
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Give yourself a rest. Find some good natural birth books and don’t worry about a birth plan until you feel better.
Congratulations again.
** I’m really excited about your interest in a more natural approach:) Can’t wait to read more.
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I wanted to say exactly what the first person said. When I started to feel guilty about my first c-section I had a wonderful doula who helped me see that we do what we know. You did the best you could have done with what you had. Each experience is new, and exciting (and potentially terrifying) I was so afraid at my first planned homebirth. I had never seen an unmedicated birth (only youtube, and that only takes you so far), I had so much baggage. I don’t think I could have done it without my doula (who was also my hypnobirthing instructor) and my amazing midwife, who sat back and encouraged, but let me do it myself.
I have since attended one unmedicated birth and had another one myself. In fact, I’m planning another one in July. I’m probably just barely ahead of you in gestation.
It was good to see. I’m glad I was fortunate enough to have been asked to attend. I also realize that as a birthing human, I don’t always want someone with me while I birth and must respect that feeling in other women. That also being said, I tried to have my unmarried sister there at the birth as support person for my other kidlets and so she was present for both of my last births. She has now seen unmedicated labor and has the exposure that all of us lacked as we were growing up. She has already spoken to me about how it has changed her view of childbearing. 
We do what we can when we can.
This is lengthy, sorry. I just wanted to share my support and tell you that you *can* do this. Luckily, nausea gives way to a bigger belly that you can see and feel along with tiny movements. That is eminently more motivating to me than trying to pretend I’m happily pregnant while trying also not to run away from people who smell weird.
Happy gestating!
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Karin — So, can I come observe (respectfully and leaving when you want to be alone
) in July? I’m due Aug 21.
I am definitely going to look into Hypnobabies!
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Karin Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
I think that might be a really good idea.
It would be a long drive for you, but I would be happy to have you there as long as you are supportive of the “birthnest” 
Through blogstalking, I feel like we know each other, even though it’s cyber-knowing. However, I’m not sure we’ve ever met in real life and I think I’d like to do that before you came over… 
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Heather Reply:
January 31st, 2010 at 12:25 pm
I’d love to be there too. Funny, Karin in July, Jane in August, and me in September. Karin – Jane and I can carpool, and since I know your kids well I can also help out with them. If that’s okay, of course… Since I don’t think I’ll ever have a home birth, I’d love participate – even on a babysitting level.
And Jane – you’re welcome to come to mine. Considering my first 2, I might still have the baby before you do. haha
I think it’s unfortunate when women go the medical intervention route and it leads to problems for the babies but mostly them, BUT, I completely understand wanting to have a medicated birth and if it’s an informed decision I think it’s very respectable.
However, a natural birth is an experience few women ever regret.
Having my first three naturally all added colour to my perspective of what women have gone through, throughout history. I imagine Mary birthing Jesus and pioneer women on the plains and I’m grateful for the extra awareness I have of how difficult their experiences must have been. I feel like birth is the most profound event that tethers all women together and I would be sad if I did not know what it was like to go through that alone. At a certain point, me anyway, the pain is so great that it’s just me and the Saviour. It’s not FUN. It’s not orgasmic. At some point I usually regret my decision to have had sex or to have a home birth with no epi, but I never regret it after.
When I did have the epi for my fourth, I had it mostly on one side of my body too. They said it was because I had turned to the side to vomit when I thought I was dying because my heart rate dropped so drastically, but I also have scoliosis. Your comment makes me wonder if that played a role.
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:29 pm
I wonder, too. Probably have to do an MRI or something to know for sure. Or whatever is best for imaging the spine (even with all my House viewing I’m not sure about that).
I like the idea of experiencing what pioneer women did, but I don’t think I’d ever birth at home. My dad is an FP dr, and I have too many positive experiences/expectations of the medical profession, along with fears, to want to completely recreate a pre- (or alternative-) medical experience.
One of my reasons for not wanting an epidural this time is bec. they were never the “ideal” epidural experience anyway, and I think perhaps I had the pain w/o either mental preparation or conclusive medical relief. But I was surprised that even with the pain I did experience, I never screamed or swore, and if you know me, that is surprising!
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I go to some midwives not too far from you that I absolutely love, if you’re interested. You probably already know their names, since they’re about the only ones that I’ve heard of around here. The same midwife delivered my last two babies and it was so wonderful. She was so laid back and not in any rush, which for me meant she knew exactly when to push so that I didn’t tear and recovery was so much easier. My husband basically delivered the babies with the midwife standing there telling him what to do. I’ve always had an epidural because my husband and I don’t feel like it should be a hard, painful experience if it doesn’t need to be. But I’ve also never had any problems with it and been able to get up soon afterwards anyway.
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:31 pm
I am interested. I found that the New Beginnings clinic attached to Orem is on my insurance, if you have any thoughts about them.
My husband is . . . it’s a good thing he didn’t want to become a doctor. Blood is not his thing.
My epidurals were always a bit of a mess, and I remember being unable to stand for several hours after my second birth. For the first and third, the doctors “turned it off” for the pushing segment.
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Stacy Yarrington Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
My friend went to those midwives in Orem and didn’t love them. She ended up switching to this clinic up in Pleasant Grove even though it’s a good 40 minute drive from down here in Spanish Fork.
Here’s the website for the clinic: http://www.mtwhc.com/
You would probably search under the doctor’s names to see if your insurance covers them. It’s billed through them, even though you only see the midwives. My friend delivered all natural and the midwife there was with her the entire time rubbing her back and talking her through it.
I did find out when my baby was 9 days late that they’re not too interested in doing things like stripping membranes to induce labor.
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Jane Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 9:10 am
Yay! They are on my list (at least two of the midwives are). I’m going to try them out.
Wow — my first was 9 days late, and I was happy to be induced. Felt like she hadn’t been moving much, and they decided my amniotic fluid was low, but it prob. wasn’t really necessary. Part of saying I won’t be induced this time stems from my certainty (hopefully) that a 4th kid wouldn’t try to be that late (though I know some people object to “late” before 42 weeks). Would require such patience!
Stacy Yarrington Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 10:20 am
I hope you like them. This was my fourth baby and the only one that was late! I also was induced because I didn’t feel her very much and my fluid was low. I even had hurried to the hospital one night because I hadn’t felt her in over 8 hours. As soon as they hooked me up to the machine, though, she started moving, so they sent me home. I was a nervous wreck by the time I was induced. Although as soon as I got to the hospital to be induced I started having hard contractions on my own for the first time.
Jane Reply:
March 20th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Stacy! Now I totally remember this conversation. (Someone named Liz I think also recommended these midwives). But also, I didn’t know/realize your married name was Yarrington.
It was good to see you today, and I am glad to read back through this conversation and know that you had such a good experience with the midwives, now that I have started going to them myself.
I agree that you have to do what is best for you and your baby. Although with my first born medical intervention was absolutely necessary. He would have died had I tried a natural birth at home.
When you feel a little better, do your research and then make plans you feel comfortable making. I applaud women who do things naturally, but do not look down on anyone who chooses the medicated route.
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Jane Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 9:12 am
My experience with doctors/hospitals has been too positive to ever think of doing it at home (my dad is a fp doctor who used to deliver babies).
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I’m really glad that medical interventions are there (they were somewhat needed with my first), but I do think they can also cause a lot of problems (like the spinal headache I had for a week after my epidural).
After that, I decided I’d go natural (Hypnobabies, in fact) with my second. I was so glad I did. Two hours after giving birth to my son (epidural, even before the spinal headache really kicked in), I still couldn’t sit, stand, move my legs—anything. Two hours after giving birth to my daughter (with only local anesthesia), I said, “I think I can do that again. In a while.”
(Note, too, they say that being induced makes for a harder labor. I spent three days at home with contractions with my daughter because they were irregular and I was sure they’d want to put me on pitocin. By the time I finally went in, my contractions were 5 minutes long and I was 8 cm. At that point, it would have taken about as long to get an epidural as it did to deliver her without one.)
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Yes, I am totally resolved on not being induced this time. My middle birth was the easiest and only not-induced one. Local anesthesia — does that mean injected at the cervix? (I feel very unknowledgeable).
I’ve actually never had a contraction outside of a hospital, so I would like to experience that, even if I end up with some sort of pain medication (demerol? etc). Even with my not-induced 2nd birth, where my water broke 17 days before due date, I got to the hospital long before a contraction.
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
(But now I can’t remember if I had pitocin with that one even, to “help it along.”)
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Jordan Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
I wasn’t exactly watching them, but I’m pretty sure they injected the local anesthesia (why on earth do I want to use the Commonwealth spelling for that?!) at the perineum before the episiotomy.
So far, labor has started on its own for me. My mom had FOUR water-break-in-the-middle-of-the-night-or-Homemaking, made-for-TV, I-want-an-epidural-too-late-PUSH births. Go figure.
Oh, and I always thought it was weird that my mom would say “It doesn’t hurt that bad” when women screamed during contractions on birthing shows. But I never felt like screaming in pain when I went natural, and I have a much lower pain threshold than my mother.
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Jane Reply:
January 29th, 2010 at 9:14 am
Interestingly (or not), it was my mom’s conviction that I have a much lower pain threshold than she does (she had 3 natural births) that was one convincing factor for me to demand an epidural asap.
Hi. I came across this post and it caught my attention. Your situation sounds so much like mine. I had my fourth baby in July. I had a water birth at home with a midwife. My first three children were born in the hospital with epidurals and I was induced with all of them. When I first started thinking that I wanted a natural birth I also read Rixa and Heather’s blogs. I don’t really have a big point to make. I guess I just felt compelled to comment because I related so much to what you said. I also felt my first three births were great normal births until I started researching natural child birth. I also had the wished that I had been more informed. Given the way that our culture views birth I totally understand why people want to go to the hospital and feel as little as they can. BUT… my birth was such a great experience. There is no way to explain how awesome it was. I’m not trying to sugar coat birth. It was painful and it was the most intense thing I’ve ever experienced in my life, but the pain and intensity was positive. It was a situation where feeling everything was a rewarding experience (if that makes sense). I wish that every woman who has had or will have a child could experience what I did. I know that’s not possible. I also know not everyone wants to. I can definitely relate to your feelings that making/researching a decision like this is intimidating and overwhelming in the beginning. I found in my journey that the more I educated myself the more peace I found. Read as many positive birth stories as you can. Reading theses is such a confidence booster. Pray and read and trust your body and you’ll know what’s right for you. Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck with your birth!
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Thanks for sharing, Jacie. I’m surprised how re-energized I feel about doing this after reading everyone’s encouragement. (As cheesy-internet-y as that sounds
).
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First, congratulations! I am SO glad you went for the second ultrasound and had really great news. Who knew you could welcome nausea?
My favorite phrase? “Do what works for you.” (My other one? “It is what it is.”) If you want to go natural, go natural. If you want to go medicated, go medicated. Don’t feel guilty for doing one or the other. I did natural childbirth for all four children BUT I had quick labors and deliveries (about 4 – 6 hours start to finish). If I’d had 14-hour labors you can bet I’d be on drugs. But that’s me. Did the Lamaze thing twice, then hypnobirthing twice and all were great experiences. When you’re feeling better, do a little research and then go the route that feels most comfortable for you and the new baby. Love ya!
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
I think I will only feel guilty this time around if I don’t do everything I can to learn and prepare. And then, in the end, if I need narcotic or anesthetic relief, I’ll probably be able to still live with myself.
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I am so glad to hear the news from the second ultrasound…for the moment, don’t worry at all about researching/planning. Just make it one day at a time through the nausea and once you’re feeling more back to yourself again–hopefully sooner rather than later!–you can start reading and watching movies. I have several I’d be happy to lend to you; just let me know and I’ll send them your way.
I think Orgasmic Birth is better than BOBB because it shows a lot more births. You see 11 births instead of about 4. And if you read my review about Orgasmic Birth, it isn’t really what it sounds like.
I agree that reading birth stories is a great way to learn about what giving birth is like, especially if you want to know more what a natural birth looks/sounds like. There are several midwife memoirs that also give you a really good idea, too: Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent is great for that–really fun, detailed, hilarious descriptions.
One of the reasons I became a doula before I had kids was that I really wanted to know what birth was like. In addition to wanting to help women during labor, I also wanted to prepare myself for giving birth. I hope you’ll be able to find someone willing to let you attend their birth.
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Me too. Anyone giving birth soon (in Utah)?
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I went for the medicated route with #1 and the epi failed and as a result of failures with the epi, I still have serious back problems. But the biggest issue is that it failed, I wound up with an unintended natural birth and I ripped so badly that I had 147 stitches. Keifer was 9 lbs 9 oz and his head was 14 7/8. The thing that still irritates me to this day is that when I went back for my check up my doctor told me she was wrong to force me into what happened and that she should have gone the route of a c sec with him because of my pelvic structure and his size.
My second babe was an emergency section because when they admitted me to the hospital finally @ 36 weeks I was in full labor @ 5 cm and when they did a check an hour later @ 7 cms they discovered he was breech.
My husband was stuck in Wisconsin, and I got to go it alone.
My third, was a planned c sec, quickest recovery and easiest on my body.
I tell you all of this not to be scary, but because all of the options available to us now medical, interventioned, natural, are available with Gods help and you should be totally aware of all options available to you.
BTW soooo glad the second ultrasound was positive!!
hugs,
Steff
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Dude. That’s terrible. I had a bunch of stitches w/ my first (9lb 3 oz), but nowhere near 147!!
And I agree, it is all about the options, and we all do different things, based on not only our bodies, but our previous experiences.
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I’m so glad you found the hiding baby! I must be backwards because I had my first 4 naturally (loved them) and still wanted an epidural for the 5th (and 6th if I had made it in time). I loved those labors, too. I actually love labor- it is so intense and incredible and means I will no longer have to be pregnant. Natural childbirth was a wonderfully empowering experience for me, but I don’t think it is for everyone. I am sad about the guilt women sometimes put out claiming they are “more woman” because of their mothering choices.
I think you have to do what you feel comfortable with. We all relate to motherhood differently and I don’t think having a natural birth is the only way to really feel what it is like to be a mother.
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
I certainly agree — I almost never think about my kid’s births when I’m yelling at them to set the table!
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Oh Jane, I’m so happy things turned out well. I too had to wait seven days for a follow up ultra sound only to find out that there was still nothing, so GREAT NEWS for you!! YIPPEE!! Don’t stress about your birth plan. You’ve got 40 weeks to figure out what you want to do and I agree that you should do what works for you. I had two births in the hospital and both were great experiences – painless, supportive, loving – seriously, David and I didn’t want to leave. I attribute this mainly to my doctor who is both a woman and probably one of the most soothing personalities I’ve ever met. Trust your instincts, listen to your heart, you’ll know what is right when the time comes.
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
I do look forward to the part of being in the hospital that is the “don’t have to clean or cook or look after anyone but me and baby part.” Especially the more kids there are waiting for me at home. Maybe I can negotiate a good, old-fashioned 4-day stay this time?
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Yeah, I say ride the nausea through, and then if it goes away you can start thinking about the birth…
And of course still SO excited for you!
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I’m so glad that everything is going well, apart from the nausea, of course.
And know that there is no shame in having an epidural! ESPECIALLY if you were induced! Synthetic hormones like the pitocin/oxytocin that you get in the hospital make contractions three times more painful than those of natural labor (a wholly subjective stat, but I ate it up anyway), so the epidurals certainly help with that. It’s something that most people don’t seem to take into account.
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Yes, pitocin is of the devil. Unless, you know, it saves you from a hysterectomy or something.
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Seven weeks ago I had induced, but otherwise unmedicated, childbirth with about 9 hours of labor. I had epidurals with my first three deliveries. Although I am glad I had this experience, I felt that doing it naturally caused my memory of the moment of birth to be less positive. I was focused on my newborn with the first three deliveries, but distracted by the physical intensity of the experience during the natural birth. It was like it made me more self-centered at the moment of birth. I don’t regret it, but if I were to have a fifth, I would choose an epidural again.
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
I want to talk to you more, Andrea (and see your baby!). I think it’s interesting how our plans/expectations are so shaped by previous experience. While now, because I am a wimp, I don’t want to rule out an epidural or demerol or SOMETHING, I am determined to not have an induction. For sure. (Unless the baby needs it, of course).
And so fascinating what you say about being self-centered at the moment of birth — I’ve never heard anyone say that, but I have heard people talk about focusing inward or being almost in a trance, or retreating to someplace, and each of those seem not newborn-focused, just expressed differently.
I honestly don’t remember the moment of birth for Callie or Lucy, but I do for Avery (my first). I remember my legs were shaking so hard, and I held her and couldn’t stop crying (happy tears).
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So funny. I have actually thought about going natural if I were to ever have another child. Just because of the research I have done since then seems to support it actually being easier on your body. I say that now but I am sure once I feel one contraction I would be begging for morphine.
I am so glad they found your hiding little one. I am really happy for you… and lets be honest, me too. Because I love to snuggle babies.
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Can you get morphine in childbirth? Because that seems an acceptable substitute for an epidural.
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What a scare! Glad to hear everything is okay. Good luck with your epidural decision. I have a lot of opinions – but I am biased – I work in L&D. Just do me a favor – do some research, real research, not anecdotes. Thanks
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Well, part of the problem with childbirth is that it’s all anecdote-based. You can amass databases and statistics of how things go, and devise evidence-based best practices, but you can’t conduct a double-blind research experiment, so I don’t know how you’d ever know how much of any one person’s experience is self-selecting or determined by any of a million variables, etc.
When you say you are biased because you work in L&D, I assume you’re . . . pro-epidural? Why?
Now if you said you were pro-hospital over homebirth, I would hope so, working in a hospital
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Sarah Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Well, there are some things that can be studied. For example, they have studied the length of labor with and with out epidurals (there is no difference, on average). I just have a hard time when someone says, “Well, my mom…” or “my friend…” and that’s their whole basis for their knowledge. There are very sophisticated studies out there, we just need to know how to sort through the muck.
I am not pro-epidural nor pro-unmedicated. I just want the mothers to have what they want. If she wants to go unmedicated, I will help her as much as I can, and visa versa. I know there are nurses out there that have a hard time with unmedicated patients – and that probably stems from some past patients who are unwilling to comply with policies that we must follow as RNs. I do think in Utah epidurals are more common and the nurses are more used to that. I will admit – patients with epidurals are easier, happier, more compliant (in general) so I think that’s why patients get that impression. Okay, here I go… sorry. I did have an epidural with my first – because I knew labor and pushing is much longer with the first baby. But I do plan on trying unmediated with my next.
And yes, I am pro-hospital. We see the bad side of the home births – the really bad sides. I just don’t know why people would sacrifice the safety of their baby and them for the comfort of being in their home.
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Charlotte Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 6:04 pm
You just reminded me of my first baby (which I had in Utah). I was completely medicated and ripped pretty bad. When the doctor went to stitch me up he cleaned me out with cold water which made me jump. They were so used to epidural births they had forgotten I could feel the temperature. When I was telling the story today at the dinner table (right after describing pelvic changed during pregnancy) my husband dryly pointed out it was a good thing the cold water reminded them, otherwise he might have forgotten the lidocaine.
It is sort of sad the nonepidural births are that uncommon. Although this was 13 years ago and there wasn’t the focus on it like there is now. Hows that for a good anecdote? I always found the story rather humorous myself.
For what it’s worth, I’ve always thought of my way of birthin’ (out of hospital, in the water, no drugs) to be the easier, less thought-consuming way. After the first labor/birth (which was kind of hellacious, granted) they’ve all been sort of lazy affair. Whereas when I think about doing it the hospital way with all the checking and monitoring and having to talk to a lot of strangers, I just get tired.
Of course, that’s partly due to the fact that I have quick, relatively easy labors and births. On the other hand, it might be worth trying not to get the induction, just so you can see how your body will labor if left to do its own thing.
COngrats!
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:55 pm
The one thing I am certain about (as certain as can be) is that I will not get induced. For sure.
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I’m sorry to hear you had such a roller coaster of emotions, but I’m glad for the punch line. You should talk to my sister, Amy. She had an emotional roller coaster on her first where after more trying than she cared for, she found out she was pregnant (relieved & happy) then miscarried (devastated) then had a positive pregnancy test a week or so later (bewildered) only to discover they were originally twins, she lost one and carried one full term (ecstatic).
I can relate to a lot of your thoughts. It’s ironic how identical my recent musings have been. I’ve had 3 picture-perfect, induced, epidural births. And now, though not yet pregnant again, I’m toying with the idea of a more natural birth next time. My close friend did hypnobabies and loved it. She recommends it highly and I’ll probably research it a bit more before I decide what to do.
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Jane Reply:
January 26th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Whoa. That is a roller coaster. I’m surprised she’s still sane. (just kidding).
For me it really is more about being informed and prepared rather than taking a bloodoath to avoid the demon medication.
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You’d probably enjoy revisiting the post about “what does giving birth feel like” on my blog. I get periodic new comments on that one, and you’ll get really detailed descriptions of what you might expect to feel when laboring without an epidural.
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Don’t we all love to weigh in when it involves labor and delivery? I know I do. =) I have five kids. Three of my labors were with epidurals and two were completely unmedicated. My first delivery (epidural, induction) was AWFUL and painful and hard. The epidural didn’t work and I couldn’t cope with the pain. The second was fine. I had an epidural which worked well and I was also induced. My third was my best experience. I went into labor naturally and it went very quickly–about 5 hours. #4 was also natural–but it was stressful for me because I expected it to go faster than it did. My last birth-just a few months ago- I asked to be induced for many reasons and consequently, had an epidural. My epidural did not work very well, just enough to take the edge off the pain. The only way I coped with it was to go very deep inside myself and focus on the downward pressure I felt. This gave me the strength to focus on the actual delivery which went smoothly. My anesthesiologist told me that my spine is atypical and that adminstering a really effective epidural for me was very difficult. I’m inclined to agree with him, given my previous experiences with epidurals.
Anyhow, if I choose to have another child, I will not ask for an epidural, because what is the point of not being able to move around if you don’t have good pain relief? I know I have the strength and tenacity to do fine durig labor. However, if I have back labor, just shoot me and get it over with.
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[...] I don’t think I was ever positive before my three other births, but as an example of how much I relinquished responsibility, it’s possible that I was positive but wasn’t told or didn’t give it any thought [...]