«
»

Tattler’s Remorse

07.04.09 | united states | 32 Comments

Last Saturday I called the Animal Control line, which is the non-emergency number for the county sheriff. I told the competent phone-answerer lady about the attack dog next door that throws his body at us (at the fence) whenever he hears us moving about the yard. He barks as if we are stray little chicks that would make a tasty treat for an otherwise-beautiful golden retriever.

There is a slim gap in the fence at the corner, by my corn, where the dog snarls and menaces and thrusts his snout, sharp teeth protruding at the novice gardener mooning over the silky corn tassels. We spray him with water if we’re watering, and one day I sprayed him with spider spray. That was after he was so vociferous in his attack that he got a splinter in his jaw from the wood fence, which bled red dog blood all over, and stopped him not at all from his mission of denying us peaceful enjoyment of our domain, making us feel as if we are the encroachers, the invaders, the unwelcome.

So I called Animal Control last week, after marching next door for the third time in two months to talk to our neighbors, who never answer the door when I march over to complain. Maybe they are not home, I told the dispatcher, but I was pretty sure they were, since I hear them tapping on the window (which is not, by the way, an effective cease-and-desist command). I explained, repeatedly, that I didn’t want to make trouble for anyone, didn’t want to see them fined or anything, I just want to be able to gloat over my sweet basil in peace.

She asked if I was willing to sign a complaint, and after a swift soul-searching, I said yes. Yes, I am willing to sign my name to a piece of paper that may make the people I plan to live next to for a very long time angry with me. Because I have done enough to feel that a formal declaration is my only recourse. She said in that case she’d send out an officer right away.

As soon as I hung up I felt sick.

We are not perfect neighbors, after all. My girls squeal and laugh and cry and whine in the backyard. They jump on the trampoline and run through the squiggly sprinkler and fight over the swings. Sometimes their mother shouts threats from the kitchen window to them in a not-very-pleasant voice. We didn’t take overĀ  neighbor gifts last Christmas.

But I hate that dog.

One day as I tried to pound in a stake to block the gap in the fence, it scared me into stepping back carelessly, onto one of my tender corn plants in the last row, the corn I planted months after my gorgeous, strong, might plants, baby corn plants that, instead of a serenade of growth-enhancing classical music piped in from a loving master gardener get the mean, angry, martial growl of the belligerent canine.

That was the day I called.

But as the sheriff stepped out of his conspicuously-macho county cheriff blazer and walked to my door in his brown uniform with large gun strapped to his hip, I blubbered. He stepped back cautiously as my voice quavered: I just want them to control their dog and make him stop attacking us, I said. I don’t want to make trouble. He was kind. He didn’t bring out a scary document for me to sign. He said he’d just go over there and have a talk with them, leave a note if they weren’t there, everything was going to be okay, please don’t start crying, Ma’am.

He was over there for a long time, and he came back the next day for awhile. The dog has been quieter this week. He still barks, but his owners seem to be more responsive, more aware. I don’t know if I’ll have to call again or if things will continue to get better.

Today as Susan and I walked to the gas station for a treat and a Mountain Dew, I told her about George Washington on her dollar bill. And I realized that the United States of America wasn’t exactly founded by people who were afraid to make a stink.

Those men and women, faced with a dilemma much more serious than mine, signed a document (okay, only the men signed, because the world ain’t perfect, even in America) that put everything they had and were on the line. I wonder if they felt slightly queasy just after the ink dried. Did they agonize over the outcome? Did they mourn for the dead who would surely follow such a treasonous declaration? I feel certain they did. And I appreciate them even more.

Jane

totally unrelated, but fun to read

32 Comments


«
»

Bad Behavior has blocked 365 access attempts in the last 7 days.