It would probably be at the Super WalMart, after a marathon shopping match during the pre-dinner rush, with a cart full of life-sustaining staples like water balloons, brownie mix, and Mountain Dew, on a day that the children have been no more bothersome than usual and that I have forgotten my wallet in the car.
As I walk towards the dirtiest red minivan in a lot full of Honda Odysseys, I breathe deeply of the summer air, protected from the harsh sunlit glare by my rose-colored prescription lenses, get in the toasty car, blast some Franz Ferdinand, and ride off past the orange construction cones dotting Highway 73, towards the ocean, and freedom.
Not that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it.
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Can you please pick me up on the way? Thank you kindly.
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Jane Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Esp. now that we’ll be closer — I will definitely pick you up!
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Sharla Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Sweet! Could I bring some music too? I’m not so sure about that song. I think I need to hear it in the car with the windows rolled down. And I think watching the vid didn’t help.
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My husband was shocked when I asked him if he ever just felt like running away as fast as he could and never looking back.
I think it’s common to wonder.
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Jane Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
My husband hasn’t told me his reaction to this post yet (I hope he’s not worried that if he reminds me of my (dream) random thought I might act on it!).
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The closest I have ever come to actually doing this was when Max was really little and seemed to cry ALL THE TIME. There were a couple of times when I would look at David with “that look” and say “I’m going to the store because I’m sure we need something”.
And BTW, my red, dirty Honda Odyssey is parked next to yours. LOL
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Jane Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Being able to leave in the evenings (on occasion, not often) is something that keeps me sane. I don’t think I felt I could leave after my first daughter. I mean, I worked during the day, so maybe I didn’t NEED to leave at night. But now? Esp that they’re a bit older? Running to the store by myself feels so naughty-good.
(My sister has a red HO too; only hers is clean. All the time).
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Yesterday, in a moment of insanity, I took all six kids to WalMart. School had gotten out for the summer at 2:00 and I hadn’t time to shop before they got home. Half my kids are old enough to stay home. One is old enough to watch the younger half, too, but they all WANTED to come.
I was 30 seconds into the store before I wanted to try to take a few to customer service and find out just how liberal their return policy might be.
What I’m saying is- I hear you. (And if you ever head towards the coast, go east. I know a great place on the water where you could stay a while. Unfortunately it comes with 6 kids, but I’m willing to use duct tape to keep the sanity.)
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Jane Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
It’s weird — some other people’s kids seem so smart/charming to me (like my friend Suzy from Cairo’s kids — she’s not from Cairo, but that’s where we met) and some other people’s kids — babysitting them or even being around them for a few hours makes me think my own kids are God’s gift to mothers.
If you could let me know which type you have at your house, I’ll be better able to plan my escape route.
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“I’m going to the store because I’m sure we need something.”
You mean I’m not the only parent who does this?
I daydream about leaving a lot, but I’m not the kind of person who can walk away from responsibility. Of any kind. I kind of wish I was sometimes.
I love my kids. I don’t always like them, but I sure do love them.
And? I haven’t washed my car in over 2 years, but it’s silver and doesn’t show the dirt.
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Jane Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Yes, liking and loving = two very different things.
So, I don’t know if I walk away from responsibility or not. I think if I do, I at least feel really guilty for it, so maybe that counts for something?
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Just for the record…
WHICH Super WalMart? Adoption is such a tedious process. If I can find free kids at the Super WalMart, all the better!
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Jane Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
They’ll be right next to the FREE PUPPIES.
If I ever do leave them, I’ll give you a call as soon as I’m safely locked in the car.
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OK… you crack me up (“not that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it”)… so funny!
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If I did, someone probably would pick her up and take her (in the nicest possible way). She has that affect on strangers.
Oh, and before your drive, make sure you check out the Google maps directions for LA to Brisbane. And follow ‘em.
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Jane Reply:
June 25th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
So, I’m sensing, from your comments about “feedings” and such that you may have news to share soon? If you’re trying, good luck! (We are trying over here, and have more happy snuggle times to show for it than positive results, thus far).
I’m guessing the route to Brisbane would require maybe a ferry ride through the Drake passage or something? I love ferries!
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You are so funny. Thanks for the laugh.
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