However, I don’t think that the apology was anything short of sincere and heartfelt. If it was a bit much — which I could see why some might think that — it’s because it was written at a very raw, emotional and real time. While I am not one others see as meek or apologetic (far from it), I am sensitive to the feelings of others. And if someone feels hurt, regardless of the intention, I at least can find it in myself to take responsibility for that.

Jackie Morgan MacDougall
thesilverwhining.com

If being well-rested is a necessary condition for parental patience my kids are in big trouble.

I think for the most part we do a good job of managing expectations with the kids. The trouble I have is with the things that every kid does at some point in most every day. I’m not sure why I expect that a 5 year old should be able to be perfectly behaved 100 percent of the time. It isn’t reasonable.

Yesterday I thought I showed pretty good restraint when my 5 year old hauled off and smacked her aunt who was trying to pick her up. She got in trouble, but I managed to not yell. Barely.

I’m just trying to get better at recognizing when I am going overboard. Luckily my wife is always ready to help me see the things I could be doing better.

English is a strange language, and I am sorry for other people’s pain and suffering. Not quite the same as an apology even though the words are the same. You know?

Love your last line! When my kids complain that they are sooo tired or their tummy hurts (usually when dishes need to be done) I say, why don’t you go lie down on your bed. Gets ‘em every time.

Love you, Courtney!!!!

I will say: it’s much easier to be patient and overlook small things when I am well-rested, well-fed, and not in a hurry. I can control our schedules to a great extent, and if I prepare and plan realistically, I can avoid a lot of over-tiredness and intolerance (on everyone’s part).

Good point — on apologizing that people are hurt w/out apologizing for an action/choice that we feel is right for ourselves.

I definitely think there is a time and a place for bluntness. It is annoying when someone seems to have no opinion because they are afraid to say what they think for fear that someone might be hurt or disagree with them.

In the Book of Mormon it says, “Use boldness, but not overbearance.” Sometimes it is appropriate to give your opinion or even reprimand. But if someone is saying something just because they think it, regardless of how someone will feel, I’m not sure that it is appropriate.

In your example of someone being judgemental or self-righteous, I totally think it is appropriate to speak up. And, I’m always grateful in those circumstances when someone is brave enough to say something, and sometimes I’m surprised when I have enough courage to do so.

I think it is a good quality not to beat around the bush. But I think there is something to say about tact and kindness. You don’t always have to say what you are thinking you know? Sure, if someone is offended it is their fault, but if you think someone might get offended, then why should you say it unless it absolutely needs to be said?

I am totally this girl…blunt to a fault. I find that I choose not to be tactful or kind when someone is acting self-righteous or judgmental towards other people. I don’t know where this behavior stemmed from but as I get older…I am trying to curb this urge to put people in their place with my bluntness or shocking words. It isn’t all an act…I am that open and mouthy but I can control my delivery.

I guess as parents we need to teach our children how and when to apologise, but also about changing ourselves to truly show a willingnes to avoid making that apology again, as there are times where I’m sorry will just be words when not backed up with action.

I have a friend that is proud of the fact that she can say whatever she thinks even if it will hurt someone. She tells people that she is not like other girls, “What I mean I say, and what I say I mean.” That’s fine and I think it is a good quality not to beat around the bush. But I think there is something to say about tact and kindness. You don’t always have to say what you are thinking you know? Sure, if someone is offended it is their fault, but if you think someone might get offended, then why should you say it unless it absolutely needs to be said?

I have mixed feelings on the subject. Anyway, yes, I apologize too much and I apologize for my mistakes as a mom. I guess as long as I apologize to the people that matter, it’s good.

And finally, to round out my long comment, my son cries very infrequently but when he does he cries FOREVER. Like, he wants me to know that he is still crying so he whimpers and it drives me nuts. I used to say, “Stop crying!” But then I started worrying that he would think it wasn’t ok to cry and I don’t ever want him to think that. Now, I tell him, “It’s ok to cry. Maybe you ought to go cry in your room.”