I had an email from my cousin David last week. “The vegan one?” Dick asked. Yep the vegan one, also the cousin who introduced me to U2′s The Joshua Tree on a camping trip in 1989, back when we took cassette players on camping trips in the desert.
I don’t see David often anymore, in fact the last time I remember was when he stayed with us a few nights in Harlem on the way to one of his exotic adventures, before Sally was born. We took him to our favorite Indian restaurant and nodded when he explained the harm reduction needle exchange he was supporting.
David emigrated to New Zealand a few years ago and is homesteading with his new wife. I think he’s also going to law school or something. Maybe some sort of international program.
This summer, though, he thought of me because he and Andrea are back in New York City, doing summer internships at the United Nations.
My summer is shaping up a bit different. I’ve got swimming lessons for my three water-babies and a first-ever garden that is teaching me how God must feel about his precious children. I’ve got stories to read and weary heads to cradle on my shoulder after hours in the sun and otter-pop-fueled hyper pony games.
I love summer. Summer is like New Years, only better. How serious can you get about making resolutions when it’s bleak and frozen outside? Summer is three short months of light and air and possibility, freedom from outside schedules and time to grow things, make things, become things.
I’ve got a bunch of goals for myself, and I’ve made a schedule for the kids and me. Schedules and goals, with daily three-hour siestas and plans for excursions and lazy days and accomplish-a-lot days actually feels freeing to me. It might sound appealing to plan to do nothing, but even there half the enjoyment is in the planning of the nothing.
We’re waking up earlier now than we did during the school year. Using an alarm clock, even. Because I’ve got a summer internship of my own. My own goals are important, and I’m not forgetting them in my focus on the kids, but I am determined to teach my kids two things this summer, or, get them in the habit of doing two things.
If they learn these two things this summer, things that probably should’ve already become part of them, but they’re young yet, and there’s still time — these things will go a long way to making next year, and all the rest of their years much better.
First, we’re reading scriptures every morning. The alarm clock starts ringing at 7:30, and by 8 or 8:30ish, we’re piled in my bed, reading from three different books, the real one, the one-for-eight-year-olds and the board book for toddlers. Yesterday we read about contention, and how it’s not a good thing. I wish I could tell you that our insightful discussion led to a bickering-free day, but the truth is the kids seemed to think that learning about contention was an excuse to practice it. We even prayed to not have contention in our home. Maybe next time we should pray that part silently.
Second, we’re learning how to work, and to not whine “Why do I have to do everything?” when Mom asks you to pick up your books from the living room floor. Susan and Spot are young enough that they take direction pretty well. Sally is old enough to know how to do some chores well without constant supervision, but unfortunately that means she is also old enough to argue about the why. We’re making some serious progress on this one, already. It’s almost miraculous. I’ve been slow at pushing this, because I was sure that it was just faster and easier to do things myself than to encourage and praise and fix and follow-up, and maybe it is, but if the goal is to teach them the value of work, and taking care of themselves, and someday even doing things for others without being asked or rewarded, then it’s worth a couple extra minutes (or hours) now.
Dick had a sick day on Wednesday, and he commented at the end of the day that our routine is impressive. Before when Dick was home, I’d feel resentful of his ‘work’ on the computer and things usually deteriorated from there. This week I was quite gratified that he thought we were getting a lot done, because it often feels like nothing gets actually finished. I cross “mow lawn” and “repair screen door” off my list and add “organize pantry” “shampoo carpets” and “read The Road and Julie and Julia and review The Bell Jar” to the whiteboard.
But maybe enough is getting done. My tomato plants are lush, my corn is tall and leafy. The girls set the table outside for dinner on the patio and put away their clean laundry. We read about Enos praying for himself, his family and country, and his enemies. I feel exhausted, and happy. It’s hot in the middle of the day, and almost-cold an hour after sunset, just as it should be. Throw in a short afternoon thunderstorm, and you have paradise.
And as for my summer internship? I’ll know it was an absolute success when my daughters are hardworking adults who pray for those who hate them, and then sign up to dig wells in Africa.
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well said! I agree — family, summer, home, chores, garden, weather, goals — how would heaven be different?
Jane Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 9:19 am
Um, heaven better not have weeds or grass that actually grows.
Sylwia Lipinska Hardman Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
i know those who live in Utah or Iowa or other fertile parts of our country hate weeds. i on the other hand, would love some weeds. my garden is planted on sand, beach sand. that’s the soil here. the weeds don’t grow, but neither do the vegetables, because there is not enough nutrition in the soil. all I have to say about your weeds, is count your blessings. where weeds thrive, so do other plants. you have the bitter and the sweet. i have neither. except for lots of trips to the store to buy soil, compost, and fertilizer…
Jane Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
The soil in Seagull Fountain is awful. It’s clay with an incredibly high amount of salt. So we add humate to break up the clay, but even better is to do container or square foot gardening with all-imported soil consisting of compost, vermiculite, and peat moss. I’ve got three different sections of garden this year (bec. I didn’t know what I was doing to begin with) — one natural amended soil w/ landscape fabric on top, one Mel’s mix w/ landscape fabric below, and one MM w/ landscape fabric on top.
The difference in the same plants, grown from seed or bought as seedlings, in the imported soil versus the native soil is astonishing, even though I highly amended the native soil.
So what I’m saying is, it’s worth 4 bucks per cubic foot to buy good soil. Amen.
I was wondering when you’d talk about this. Remember, as you feel jealous of his internship this summer that there are those out there who are jealous of yours.
Jane Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Yes, I know. I don’t know if it’s just human nature (or a defect on my part) that even when I’m very content in my chosen role, I still find space in me to be a bit envious, and a lot wistful, when I hear of fun New York-y/world-y occupations. (I hope it’s not just me who does this.)
Kirsty Reply:
June 9th, 2009 at 1:47 am
It’s not just you. I read this post, and was wistful – for more and older children, for having the time in a (summer) holiday to plan nothing, to be gardening and growing plants, to be content to snuggle in bed reading scriptures in the morning and not manic about getting up and about and doing things. You are not the only one with envy and wistfulness!
I still have 3 weeks of school for my kids, but I am already planning our summer. I love the times I retweek my schedule: beginning of summer, beginning of school year, or beginning of new year. I also find “half the enjoyment is in the planning of the nothing.”
I know what you mean about cleaning. It takes 3 times as long to make the kids do it, but they have to learn so I suffer through. It does get better. A little. Every other weekend and once in a blue moon.
BTW, what does a United Nations internship involve? Learning to talk much and do little?
Jane Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 9:24 am
ell-oh-ell. I don’t know what they’re doing there. I responded to his email, but maybe he’s been too busy saving the world to reply. When I read it, I thought of (I think it’s an Audrey Hepburn movie? Charade? or North by Northwest w/ Eva Marie Saint?) a 1960s movie where the lady is a simultaneous translator at the UN. That’s the only picture I have in my head of what people do there. So, talking, yeah.
It’s nice to know I am not the only one with goals for my kids (and myself) this summer! I commend you for your scripture-reading…I am making do with the CD being on while I make breakfast. We are also working on getting chores ingrained into the ‘normal’ routine and piano lessons. So much work for Mom, but (hopefully) so much reward for the kids. Have a great summer, and I wish you much luck…
Jane Reply:
June 5th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
We’ve been listening to Clive Romney’s cd of the children’s songs for this year, and it’s so funny to hear my 2 yo shout that she wants to “listen to builder” or “the foundation song.” My 8 yo asks for a rock/pop song, and I am happy to oblige
.
That sounds absolutely perfect. Someday…..
I hope you do a post on The Road. I read it last Christmas and have mixed feelings about it. For good or for worse, it stuck with me for weeks and I would love to hear another person’s view on it.
Jane Reply:
June 6th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever heard people react so strongly (negatively and positively) to a book (I mean, besides Twilight, but I think that’s a different sort of reaction). My friend’s take on it is interesting: http://notdeadwriters.blogspot.com/2009/06/read-this-book-road.html
Charlotte Reply:
June 6th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
I added the book to my to-read list when you mentioned it, but you’ve intrigued me and I am moving it to the top of the list.
This post reminds me of summers-gone-by when my boys were young and my expectations were high. Being a naturally unorganized person, I worked as hard as any intern to keep my children busy, happy, and entertained. The schedule usually deterioriated by the end of June, but that didn’t keep me from trying! I loved our “field trip” days – they made the “working and learning” days rewarding.
I read THE ROAD and had a great discussion about it with a couple of friends. I maintain that there IS hope woven into the story via symbols and events, but one friend felt it was devoid of any hope whatsoever. Either way, it was a compelling read!
Jane Reply:
June 6th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I assume my friend (a professor at BYU-I) likes (loves?) the book bec. of the hope, not otherwise. (But I confess I’m not so eager to read a book that some people find sooooo downward-dragging.)
I loved this post. I like the way you interweaved David’s internship with your summer goals. Also, that I found the routine you have the kids in impressive is an understatement. I told you it blew me away.
I also like how the seasons factor in to your reflections. A while ago, it was spring, and you wrote about plants and gardens. Now it’s summer and you shift to “light and air and possibility.” The changing seasons provides an engaging transition into your reflections.
How cool to have goals for your summer internship at home with your girls.
How long are the summer holidays, anyway? I thought all Americans sent their kids to camp at summer? That’s what those TV shows and movies like Parent Trap teach us non-Americans.
A part of me looks forward to summer holidays, and another part dreads it. Matilda starts prep (formerly pre-school, but now part of the school system in our state) in 2012, and from then, we will be forced into more regular, school-holiday-timed holidays (vacations). But summer is Christmas time, and New Year’s, and Australia day, and swiming and the beach and going to shopping centres just to be in air conditioning that someone else pays for …
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[...] invited to dinner at my grandma’s, with my aunt and her son, my cousin, the one who had the internship at the UN this summer. Apparently we can relate to David and his lovely wife Andrea because we’ve enjoyed living [...]