It has long been my goal to raise self-entertaining children. What some see as neglectful-parenting, I hail as “imaginative-exploratory-self-reliance fostering.”
So I don’t really play with my kids. This is, in fact, why I had more than one kid, so that they can play with each other. You won’t find any cute posts here about me running through the sprinklers with them or playing Barbies or suffering through Candyland 500 times (though we do break out Old Maid on Monday nights. Sometimes).
But I am good at reading to them and, more than anything, I like to talk to them.
Today at lunch Susan and Spot were fighting. That is, Spot said Susan was fighting, and Susan rejected Spot’s overtures to introduce their plastic Ikea forks to each other (“Hello, my name is Sparkle Fork, what’s your name?). I suggested they not sit right next to each other at the kitchen island, but for some inexplicable reason, even when Susan expresses utter loathing, Spot prefers to be right next to her big sister.
I asked if they needed time-outs, and Susan said we should send Spot to timeout in Greenland because it’s really cold there. I wondered if she’d learned about Greenland this morning at her last day of preschool, but Susan reminded me of the evenings we spent at Grandma’s house this past winter, when she watched an old vhs copy of The Princess Bride multiple times. I didn’t watch with them, though I did wonder what a four-year-old found so fascinating about Fred Savage. Susan said that Sally watched with her once and explained, during the scene where Vizzini threatens Fezzik, that Greenland is a place where it snows all the time.
Today when I picked Susan up from school, her teacher said that I must be the best mom (oh, ye-deluded-but-don’t-stop-now flatterer) because Susan is always talking about how awesome it is to be the middlest child. Spot may be the littlest and Sally may be the biggest, but Susan is the middlest.
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I have an only child, and I don’t think that it’s my parenting…BUT she is fantastic at playing by herself. So, I had to laugh at this post, because your first paragraph is ME. SO. ME.
Although I do run through the sprinklers, play Candyland just once in blue moon, and read…She prefers to play by herself…which I find to be absolutely spectacular! =)
Jane Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
I might run through the sprinklers too, but only because I am feeling hot, and sprinklers are fun. “Sorry” and other boardgames are not so fun, but that kind of thing is pretty good for teaching stuff. When we discovered that Sally and Susan could play “Concentration” together, the angels rejoiced.
Ditto. I don’t play WITH them (often) and it’s nearly painful for me to have them “help” with cooking, but I honestly love to talk with them.
My exception to the not playing with them is a semi organized board game. Scrabble, woohoo!
Jane Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
I should try Scrabble with Sally. I love to play “Take Two Scrabble” (that’s what wikipedia calls it; we actually call it “Speed Scrabble”). Now that’s a good game for cognitive/verbal development!
yeah, our version is sort of made up, but it’s kid friendly.
When my roommate and I play, now that’s the real thing!
Gah!! Candyland! I seriously would rather play russian roulette than Candyland or Chutes and Ladders. Ok, maybe not seriously. I might consider sticking a fork in my eye though if it meant never having to play either of those games again.
I love the middlest thing. Grace (until a couple of weeks ago our middlest) used to complain about never getting to go first because we always go oldest to youngest, or youngest to oldest. She suggested that sometimes we go “Mediumest to smallest to biggest.”
All my kids but the baby are pretty self entertaining, but only my middle two could do it without destroying the house. Seriously, my 4 yo entertained himself by making E’s on his carpet with marker yesterday (he is in the youngest two set, not middle two). I have to make a concerted effort to seek out and spend time with the middle two because they are content to go around the house and do their own thing.
I buy almost all my kid games as games they can play without me or from Mindware so that they have some intellectual stimulus. My kids favorite game to play? Settlers of Catan. Sometimes they even beat my husband and me.
Jane Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
I think it’s fascinating how different our kids are from each other. I confess to being a bit disappointed when my second, and then my third turned out to also be girls. My feeling with the second was, I don’t need another girl, but as soon as she was born, I realized she wasn’t another Sally, and she was as different from Sally as could be (kind of), so I was being redundant or repeating myself, you know?
I long for the days when my kids can entertain themselves, but it’s flattering that they still want me. My oldest – at just 2 years – entertains himself and is completely uninterested in TV. It’s beautiful. The messes I clean from his play aren’t so wondrous.
Jane Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 10:59 pm
I feel that when I’m breastfeeding — bec. with my kids (so far) they can be seemingly inconsolable, and then as soon as the breast is offered … bliss (and quiet!). That was the hardest part of weaning for me, so I hope it is easier for you. Do you have a rocker, or other good soother place?
Just wanted to say that I’ve been enjoying reading your blog. And that High-ho Cherry-o is the worst game EVER.
Jane Reply:
May 28th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
Ahh, my favorite kind of comment!
(I’m hoping you guys are getting all settled in. I was NOT envying you all the moving!!!)
And I have to vote for Sorry being the worst, along with WAR, bec. both of those can go on indefinitely, forever, never-ending, starting-over-mid-game, etc…
I’m so glad to read that I’m not the only mother that doesn’t play with my kids. I like to read with them, but I’m really not big on rolling around on the floor with them. And board games drive me nuts, well, except Clue.
LOL! I am so glad to see that we have the same parenting philosophy! I’m sorry I’ve been comment-lacking lately. My computer died. Oh, and I was looking at a couple of houses in Seagull Fountain the other day but they may be a bit too far from Eldon’s new job. Darn.
This makes me feel better about myself (well, my parenting ways) LOL I love how much my kids play together, or by themselves. This also helped us decide whether or not to put the twins in the same class or different classes when they enter preschool this fall, because I’ve gotten to see how they act when I’m not involved. (We’re going for separate in case you wondered lol)
I’m big on self-entertaining, too. The ten month old takes this a little hard sometimes
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I do try to make an effort to be sure to do SOMETHING with them every day—if Hayden’s lucky, it’s playing blocks or train. If he’s not, it’s going grocery shopping (although he actually loves that). It’s so easy for me to get sucked into the computer and pretty much ignore them.
I thought (and still do)that i found heaven on earth when my oldest learned to follow the lego directions himself. now both of my older two can do really complicated legos without me and they will build for HOURS!!!
And they are still into the entertaining the babe which is also great.
I am not sure whats going to happen when they outgrow that…LOL
Steff
I found Cooties on sale and bought it. As much as I loath playing mindless children’s games, I have enjoyed my 2 year old asking every time he sees me if I will play Cooties with him. It is sweet how much he ADORES the making those little critters and rolling dice all by himself. Occasionally playing with the kids isn’t so bad, is it?
Jane Reply:
June 3rd, 2009 at 9:13 am
Sigh. I guess not. (I’ll have to look for Cooties — never heard of it). I loved showing Susan “Memory Match/Concentration.” It was so awesome to see how good she was at it! Gives me hope for the future, you know?