My favorite part of The Parent Trap is when the evil step-mother-to-be Vicky asks Hailey Mills and Hailey Mills if they share everything, and they say they do, and then she says “Well you give your sister her half of this,” and then slaps them across the face.
I’d feel bad about liking that scene, but my kids insist they love the part in Bambi where his mother dies and that they don’t think the part in Dumbo where Mrs. Jumbo is in solitary confinement and sticks her trunk out to cuddle her baby is very sad at all, either. Insensitive clods.
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Today we took the kids to the botanical gardens, one of my favorite places. Dick and I have been to botanical gardens all over — DC, Brooklyn, on an island in the Nile near Aswan, Butchart Gardens in Victoria — and the gardens in Utah (Red Butte and Thanksgiving Point) are not an embarrassment to our state. I think public gardens in general are a good sign for civilization. Maybe it’s just that we wish we worked with our hands more, or maybe it’s that a people who will dedicate time, money, and effort to something that is merely ornamental (yet ornamental to all the senses, and the spirit), are not irredeemably consumed with plastic toys and electronic gizmos.
(I don’t categorize the Internet under “unnatural electronic gizmos.” Surely if the Good Lord had wanted us to surf the waters of the great deep instead of the world wide web, He wouldn’t have invented roller skates.)
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Susan scraped her knee on the sidewalk outside the gardens. She wailed and carried on, tensing her body from any casual contact with the offended limb. She demanded a bandaid, which I had none. We showed our pass and made the required bathroom stop and passed out hats, all to the accompaniment of Susan’s wretched cries.
At the top of the hill overlooking the gardens, the crying suddenly ceased. I looked back and saw that Sally had taken the bandaid from her own knee (applied there myself not forty minutes earlier after an unfortunate bicycle incident) and cured Susan’s bleeding knee and bruised feelings.
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It is heaven to spend a couple hours walking among flowers with minimal whining about tired legs and only occasional demands for peanut butter sustenance — and no stroller! Why didn’t we get older kids sooner?
They’re not that old, of course. Spot’s newly-learned potty-training requires plentiful opportunities to practice, so she and I visited every bathroom in the place. At the third bathroom she showed me a wad of gum: “Look Mommy, I got some gum,” she said, and I recoiled. “You didn’t pick that up off the [gross, dirty, bathroom, cement] floor, did you?”
Oh, no, she assured me: “It was Sally’s.”
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that is one of my favorite movies of allll time!!!
steff
oooh i finally made the comment meter again
Jane Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Yay! I am sure that is a highly contested spot.
cute girls! but what’s up with the holes in the jeans? if she can wear grungy clothing now, what is she going to wear as a teenager? i make my kids throw away anything with holes. i’m worried it looks too “modern”…
Jane Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 8:58 am
If Sally threw away all her pants with holes, she would have no pants, and I don’t have money to buy her more. We’re just about to cut them all off for shorts for the summer, anyway. I have never paid full-price for pants for her — I buy $4 clearance jeans at the Walmart or JCPenney or DI (thrift store), so then I don’t get annoyed when holes appear within three wearings. (Sally likes to be a horse and plays pretty hard on the playground).
My mom has patched them for her before, but she wears through the patches too. My plan (having not bought pants for her in almost a year now) was to buy from Sears next time because they have that “if you wear it out before you outgrow it” guarantee, but I’ve also heard that some moms iron in patches to the inside of jeans before the kid ever wears them, and that this works.
Sally was also wearing a PodcampSLC tshirt. She is quite oblivious to her clothing, and I would love for her to stay that way as a teenager!
Sylwia Lipinska Hardman Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
i buy stuff from sears if i ever buy anything new, and yes they do exchange it with no questions asked. it works for us! way to go sears!
Sylwia Lipinska Hardman Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
and if you are really that poor, why don’t the grandparents buy some pants a couple times per year??
Jane Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
I’m too poor to waste money on something I don’t see as necessary.
Perhaps it would be shaming to some to have their children in pants with holes; to me it is just evidence that my kids are free and happy to be as active in their clothes as they want to be, with no fear of staining or harming what they are wearing. I can think of nothing more stifling or repressing than always wearing new clothes.
I dread the day my kids care what their clothes look like. I’m quite proud of the clothes they choose to wear now. Each of them, even Spot, knows and practices modesty. Anything else in clothing, to me, is pretty shallow and superfluous.
Renae Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 8:45 am
I love holes in jeans, and not because they are trendy. We’re deep in a recession – that Donald Trump actually referred to as a DEpression, and he should know, right? Anyway, one of the adages of that era that has circulated once again is as follows: “Use it up; wear it out; make it do; or do without!” We(Oops!smacks of “false modesty” here.)My generation of baby boomers launched a throw-away generation because of the chucking “anything-with-holes” attitude. At the least, I encourage readers to donate such clothing to thrift stores or homeless shelters. Or doing as you suggested: patching or remodeling. I remember watching my grandmother darn socks, and my mom reconstructed her older brother’s graduation suit into a darling suit for her own commencement.
And don’t get me started on pawning parental responsibilities onto grandparents!
Jane,
Great Post. I really enjoy your blogs, and have wondered why, esp in view of your last post’s “navel gazing”
I just finished reading the linked NYT article on working w hands– thought it was really great! I found myself agreeing w the author — my job as a family doctor is similar to that of the motorcycle mechanic on the days that I love it, and like the cubicled middle manager or the think tank drone on the days that I hate it. My bosses in SL are often just like those of the K Street (in DC) policy hacks. I even resonated to his Karl Marx quote (and that’s not the first time that has happened, don’t tell my conservative friends).
But I have an observation. Have you ever noticed how some writers use a particular construction (there’s probably a name for it) in which they repeatedly say “we do this…” or “we do that…” referring to society as a whole, as the ‘working w hands’ guy does in his first 3-4 paragraphs. It is as if he is striving for a (false) modesty by the denigrating tone of the comments, while at the same time displaying an arrogance of speaking for all of ‘us’. And it assumes a conventional wisdom that I find particularly offensive. This is really common in liberals, esp in the media, and in activists of all sorts. I love to be bugged by it.
This brings me back to why I love reading your posts (besides the inate basking in the words, wisdom, worries, weirdness, and pictures of one’s progeny). It is because you don’t use that construction. At least not ingratiatingly (maybe obtusely — I haven’t noticed). But I really admire that you can comment honestly and openly on someone whom you know will be reading your comments, and you can do so without the construction I mentioned, and without being denigratingly critical of the object of your comments. Unfortunately, that is the stance taken by too many — their commnents always seem to have a foil, and they are trying to get someone /everyone to agree with them. It is a form of literary bullying, an ‘us against them’ mentality. (wow, this could get deep, don’t you think?) I’ll leave that to you.
Keep up the great writing!
Love.
Jane Reply:
May 26th, 2009 at 9:10 am
I think I know what you’re talking about — this is especially prevalent (and annoying) when “enlightened–but-humble” people talk about race relations or the homeless or drug addicts.
Thanks for all your compliments. Your praise means much more to me than it should, probably, but don’t let that stop you!
Renae Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 7:36 am
Gosh, everyone should have a Capt. Kirk in their blogging world! Is he for hire?
Nice use of a hat there!
Jane
I used to think about clothing exactly the way you do. whatever is modest, fun to play in. now that i have children just a bit older than you, in an elementary school that includes a middle school and many bad examples of dress and behavior, a few conference talks and for the strength of youth pamphlet, made a different impression on me. i decided that while my kids still listen to me, i need to help form their dressing habits. I’m not saying you should do what I do, I was just sharing what I thought was important to intill in children when they are young and not swayed by peers.
I often read to my kids the following quotes:
Pres. Hinckley
“Some of you young men seem to delight in dressing in a slouchy manner. I know that it is a sensitive subject, but I believe it is unbecoming to young men who have been ordained to the holy priesthood of God”
For the Strenght of Youth:
All should avoid extremes in clothing, appearance, and hairstyle. Always be neat and clean and avoid being sloppy or inappropriately casual in dress, grooming, and manners. Ask yourself, “Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord’s presence?”
Elder Hales
Now think of how inappropriate it is to go out into the world or come to church dressed in clothes that do not represent who you really are in spirit. Our outward appearance and behavior give a message. What message are we sending? Does it reflect that we are children of God?
Jane Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
“Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord’s presence?”
To answer for Sally — HECK YES. She doesn’t wear jeans to church (… or the temple for that matter). If the Good Lord decides to visit her elementary school, her backyard, her house, or the local Walmart, He can bask in her oblivion to fashion and style.
Amen.
Sylwia Lipinska Hardman Reply:
May 27th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Jane
do whatever you feel like with your kids. you don’t have to be defensive. I am simply worried about my kids’ choice of clothing in the future, so i am careful not to let them wear slouchy clothes now. i guess it’s not a priority for you. that’s ok. most of those talks about slouchy clothes are directed to boys anyway, most of the modesty talks are directed to girls. so obviously you are not worried about the same things as i am…
Jane, I think you’re kids are lovely and adorable. I also, though I get a bit wrapped in fashion personally, think you have a great mindset on what you want to instill in your children. I think Sylwia’s last comment bugs me so, because it’s not that “so obviously you are not worried about the same things as I am” it’s more that you aren’t worried. They’re kids, not only do they ruin most clothes they also outgrow them at freakishly fast paces most of the time. Anyway, just wanted to reassure you (not that you need reassuring) that I think you are instilling good values in your children. I’m also confident you will not raise children to dress “slouchy” or not modestly to church and/or a job interview.
What a funny lil gum comment.
There have been quite an interesting set of comments here. I feel safe commenting on the gum….that is all. K bye 
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