I know I’m not supposed to say anything. I’m supposed to be supportive, and understanding, and tolerant, and kind. I’m supposed to ignore how enormously inconsiderate you are.
After all, don’t I have kids? Don’t I know what it’s like to be looked at by people who don’t have kids? Don’t I know how frustrating it is to have to miss out on things simply because you’ve given birth to a needy infant?
Don’t I like to take my kids to the movies? (Yes, at the FAMILY DOLLAR THEATER TO SEE KIDS’ SHOWS.)
But really. People pay 8 bucks a ticket (or work hard enough in their careers to be given complimentary tickets) to attend a PG-13 movie on opening weekend, and you bring your crying baby, and sit right behind me.
And I? I have spent two hours of my Friday afternoon making calls to potential sitters, and shelled out twenty-five dollars of my hard-earned blogging money (which you know took me two weeks to earn) for a babysitter, and I’m out on the town on a date with my husband, without my kids, enjoying a fantastic movie, and you expect me to LISTEN TO YOUR FREAKING CRYING BABY THE WHOLE TIME?
Major fail, Mother with the crying baby, major fail.
Please stay home, or get a babysitter, before you give all mothers a bad name, and me a major pain in the hiney.
Tags: babysitters, motherhood, movies, parenting
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For the record, I have NEVER taken my children to a movie at night or that was a grown-up film even when they were 3 months old and slept all the time. NEVER!! Why? because I never wanted to be that person you just described. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the movies. David and I used to go to the movies practically every week before we had kids. I have physically mourned my inability to go to a film on a whim. However, I would still NEVER bring my kids. Not to mention did that mother even hear and/or enjoy the film herself? I think not – so why ruin the experience not only for yourself but for people sitting around you? And this makes all of us other mothers look bad so when I do ask for an extra privilege from a non-parent I get ‘the glare’. Why? Because of women like her. Dude, keep the kid at home, you’re making us all look bad.
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Matilda doesn’t even know what a movie theatre is. I was too comatose (and/or uninterested in the films) to ever take her to the “Babes in Arms” sessions the theatres here have once a month when she was little. And I guess I’ve been waiting to see if she’s likely to stay interested in an appropriate kids movie for 1.5-2 hours before we try going to the movies. Or maybe I’m waiting for a kids movie that I want to see …
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Just curious, but why didn’t you talk to the lady at the movie theater about it? If I remember correctly, you’re usually telling me to do similar things.
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Mom Blogs – Blogs for Moms…
…
When we went to the movie on Wednesday – at the Utah premiere – we took our baby and worried the entire time at the noise she made. But they didn’t kick anyone out. There was even a guy walking up and down the aisles looking for any cell phones out. They threatened to send you out permanently if they even caught the glimpse of a lit screen.
Crying babies don’t belong in movies.
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Jane Reply:
May 9th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
We took Sally to a couple movies when she was 4-6 months old. She was a champion nurser — would breastfeed for hours at a time. But if she ever made a peep, I would have taken her out immediately.
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that was probably me or my sister at the movies with the crying babies. we do it all the time…
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that was probably me or my sister with the crying baby at the movies. we do it all the time…hey, a woman has to get out too even if she has a fussy baby. husband might be deployed, or dead, or gone, or a doctor who works all the time. lucky you, you have a ton of family to babysit for you. not everyone is so lucky…
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Jane Reply:
May 9th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
So, you missed the part of my post where I described spending 2 hours (not a joke, I called 7 different young women and my mother-friends that I swap babysitting with, and ended up using a teenager I hadn’t met before — who I was, incidentally, very happy with), and then spending 25 dollars of my hard-earned money on her?
I am lucky to have my family only an hour away, but because they are an hour away, and because I don’t want to be a burden, I only ask my mom to babysit when it’s an emergency, or if I want to be gone for an entire day or overnight, and this is very, very seldom.
Honestly, it’s hard for me to think of anything less considerate than forcing me to listen to someone else’s crying baby when I’ve made arrangements to have a couple hours’ break from my own. If someone tries to bring their baby, and the baby is well-behaved, great. Once the baby cries, though, she needs to be taken out. Period. This goes for adult movies, adult sessions of stake conference, the symphony (where people aren’t even allowed to bring babies), etc.
I don’t care if your husband is on the moon or left you for a harem of male chippendale dancers. You’re just as capable of calling and hiring a babysitter as I am. Unless you’re also quadraplegic and mute — in which case, it probably would be harder for you to make arrangements.
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Natasha Reply:
May 9th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
LOL. Harem of male chippendale dancers: awesome.
I felt really bad for you when I read this post because I knew you had tried really hard to find a babysitter and that you were really looking forward to going out. You sounded REALLY excited.
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Natasha Reply:
May 9th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
Sylwia, a woman doesn’t “have” to go to a MOVIE where there are people paying to listen to a movie. Showing up with a crying baby that prevents the listening people are paying to do is extremely inconsiderate. If there’s no family room like we had in our tiny town of 7000, well, what the hell is up with that, Utah, land of the bazillions of babies??! If there’s no family room then moms with crying babies just have to suck it and find something else to do to “get out”. There’s play groups for mom and kid socializing. There’s the park. There’s the library. There babysitting trade offs with other moms so that you can go do whatever your little heart desires.
It would be like me paying to eat at a restaurant and being unable to because your baby puked on my food and I’m supposed to just say, “Oh, it’s okay. I know you had to get out and it’s hard when you have kids and hey, babies puke. I don’t mind paying for this and getting absolutely nothing out of it.”
Crying kids at movie theatres completely defeats the purpose of the movie theatres. There’s no closed captioning.
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I’m totally with you on this.
Could not agree with you more.
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well shannon,
you could also choose to be kind, long suffering, not easily provoked, thinking no evil, seeking not your own, bearing all things, and enduring all things…
…just a thought since tomorrow is Sunday.
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Jane Reply:
May 9th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
ah ah ah, I think I’m breaking out in hives.
So, if you needed any further evidence that I am a complete unregenerate when it comes to Christian charity, oddly, your comment induces in me a strong desire to punch someone in the face rather than a soft heart striving towards humility.
Am doomed, I know.
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Natasha Reply:
May 9th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Sure, Sylwia, that might be what Shannon should do in response to her sucky night. BUT, BUT (notice, that this will be the crux of the entire argument): THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT RIGHT.
In order to be “long suffering”, there needs to be something to suffer. No one suffers orgasms or chocolate or ANYTHING good. Only bad stuff do we long suffer. We only “endure” bad things.
And you and everyone else who is Christian should not be doing bad things, should be seeking not YOUR own, should bear all YOUR things, too. Like being stuck at home with your husband having run off with a harem of male Chippendale dancers. Bear it, sister.
Your entire point could be made back at you and that’s what Shannon did with her post. Except instead of doing it in nice scripture language, she did it with venting. The point was the same: Don’t be selfish and inconsiderate.
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Syliwa. If you were the one with the crying baby, then I was the one glaring at you. I don’t mind you needing to get out, but the instant one of my offspring infringes on anothers right to enjoy themselves, they are out of there. I’ve sat for over an hour in the car with a child who wouldn’t behave while the other children and their mother get to enjoy whatever it was we were doing… just because I wouldn’t allow my children to piss off complete strangers. Perhaps if more people were considerate, less people would be pissed off and the world would be a better place.
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I had my screaming baby on a 5 hour flight once. That was HORRIBLE. But that’s a situation I can’t exactly walk out of, you know, so I was glad some people had some sympathy for me. A movie theater, though? That’s a little different!
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Jane Reply:
May 9th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Yes, airplanes are super tough, esp. if you have a sick child, or an overly-tired child, etc. I have spent hours on planes absolutely flustered out of my wits, and yes, so grateful for sympathetic and helpful strangers!
I know I should be more understanding about this particular incident. I just wish the parents had taken the baby out. Problem solved.
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oh, shannon, i mean jane,
calm down. i was teasing you. i guess it’s working a little too well.
but, hey, at least it’s increasing the number of comments for this post…
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Natasha Reply:
May 9th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Oh, praise the Lord.
If you add emoticons, it might make it a little clearer. Sheesh.
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Jane Reply:
May 10th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Yes, some emoticons would help — because before when I’ve assumed that you were joking, I was always wrong. So I usually try to take you literally. But I’m glad to know that this was a jest.
Also, sad to know you think I’d bear my soul to you for the sake of a comment quota. Sob :{
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Jane Reply:
May 10th, 2009 at 12:27 am
Oh, should that have been “bare my soul”? I’m not sure. I’d go edit my comment, but better take this opportunity to increase the count.
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jane
i don’t like emoticons, so no chance me using them.
and you are right, i am always serious. i was teasing you in my last comment. the charity one, not in my first one. and even in my teasing comment, there is truth in it. ultimately, it is easier to get through life with charitable feelings and thoughts, though it is hard to get to that point. i assumed that if i mentioned that, i would get under your skin. that’s the teasing part.
but when you started breaking out in hives, i felt sad for having truly upset you. so I let you know, i was teasing. the charity principle is still correct, i just don’t expect you or anyone to live it. i wish i could be charitable, and overlook people’s quirks and shortcomings. maybe, one day…
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Ah. Something like this happened on Friday, but it was in the chapel of Conner’s school… I know, I know, church IS for everyone, even babies, but it was a Mother’s Day Show that the preschoolers were putting on but in the pew behind me, the grown ups were making chit chat and the 11-12 month old was shrieking. Really bad shrieking.
Why not step out an ask one of the others in your group to hold your camera?
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This is why I’m starting to hate going to movies at the theater. Last week my husband and I went to Wolverine and I sat behind a group of teenage kids that kept kicking my seat and resting their feet on the top of the seat behind me. I did tell them to please refrain from kicking my seat and then I heard something like “what’s her problem?”. A few minutes into the movie I smelled what I described as “ass” and sure enough, it was the back of my seat. How it came to smell like someone’s butt, I’ll never know. I moved to another seat and then dealt with the guy next to me chomping on a variety of foods throughout the movie. I’d rather sit in my comfortable chair at home, drink my diet pepsi and fall asleep half-way through. Anyway the crying baby is one of my greatest pet peeves, at movies, at church and honestly anywhere. I’ve become super intolerant since my kids are older and don’t cry all the time. How easily we forget.
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Wondering if this is a Utah problem. In other states I see a third of the children as here; you do the math!
So I totally agree with: get a sitter, or stay home, or sit on an aisle and you-the-parent-who-brought-a-crying-infant get to miss part of the movie. Or keep the baby on the boob
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