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April 2009

The Archives

• Family

  Start all the clocks

  04.11.09 | Permalink | 7 Comments

  Start all the clocks, get on your Sunday best Let the dogs bark, let them wake us from our rest Strike up the organ, the choir shout Hurray! For He is risen, and is not where He lay. Pink-gloved daughters, sons in pastel ties Full of sugar, sticky fingers, high happy cries Scribble with crayons [...]

• parenting

  Darwin wasn’t a mother

  04.09.09 | Permalink | 11 Comments

  It’s time to thin my plants, now that the first true leaves have appeared. I’m to cut back all but the strongest seedling in each pellet. I can’t do it. Maybe this is why I’m not a vegetarian, except I don’t envision any problem eating the zucchini and tomatoes and basil my garden is going [...]

• garden

  Hope Springs

  04.06.09 | Permalink | 22 Comments

  At the end of every winter, after the brave bulbs have pushed their way to the surface but while the trees are still barren, hairy skeletons, I find myself doubting that in another few weeks, all this will be green, and beautiful. I teach my kids that faith is like knowing the sun will come [...]

• motherhood

  Pretend feminists

  04.03.09 | Permalink | 34 Comments

  I thought I worked out all my anger against the pretend feminist movement behind Hanna Rosin’s article The Case Against Breastfeeding when I wrote my satirical piece The Case Against Motherhood, but those pretend feminists are at it again, this time attacking the breast pump. Because apparently the sound of a breast pump is so [...]

• books

  “Yeah, but you can tell how much it’s gonna cost”

  04.02.09 | Permalink | 19 Comments

  I always hated reading books in school. I’d take To Kill a Mockingbird home and read it all that night and then go back and have to search the pages for the answers to Mrs. Dart’s worksheets as we read at the torturously slow pace of one chapter a day. I still do that — [...]

• parenting

  Mommy, I got new flipflops at Dee – Eye

  04.01.09 | Permalink | 28 Comments

  Yesterday Susan told Spot “You don’t have to say everything you do,” which was funny coming from last year’s winner of the flapping tongue macaroni trophy. I told Dick that Spot was making me crazy on Monday, and he said, “With the over-talking?” and I said of course not, I love being an accredited repository [...]

• sisters

  Before I pitch you

  04.01.09 | Permalink | 2 Comments

  The only way to get a word in edgewise in a house full of girls is to sneak up behind them: Happy Wordless Wednesday!

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