This is how my six-year-old niece explained swine flu to her four-year-old sister. If only our appointed officials had such clarity:
Dangerous pigs from Australia are coming here to give us a disease. Never go to Australia. If your teacher takes a field trip to Australia, Ali, don’t go on it. Pigs want to give it to people…on purpose. If you don’t want the disease you have to wash your hands every day. If you get sick you have to get a shot before three days or you will die. When my teacher told me this tears came down my eyes because I was so scared. They’re coming today, tomorrow or the next day. Are you scared?
(I stole this from my sister, as her blog is private, and wouldn’t we feel really bad if keeping this information to ourselves endangered all our Australia-bound loved ones?)
I wish I could attribute the following pictures, but they have gone so viral (especially the first) that I have gotten them on Facebook and Twitter and email and if you have not seen them, you should probably turn in your internet connection.
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As far as I can tell from massive internet studying, she isn’t too far off from the truth. I knew those Australian pigs had a plan to take over the world. The truffle hunting was just a ruse
That is very funny. And yes, I think I’m a little scared.
My husband is chairman of the ED here. Luckily our state is being much more conservative. Although he was freaked out enough from meetings with the state to make sure we were stocked up on everything needed to stay quarantined in our house for a week. I’m pretty sure all they have to do is send in any suspected samples to the CDC. And they got their supply of the tamiflu. And my daughter’s field trip was canceled ($40 dollars nonrefundable), but the hospital didn’t do that.
Jane Reply:
May 1st, 2009 at 8:27 am
Charlotte — I was asked to pull the comment that yours was in reply to (my commenter felt he/she had been too critical for such a public venue).
Sorry to hear about your daughter’s field trip.
Speaking of non-refundable expenses, Sally brought home gorgeous school photos that I had not ordered. Now to keep them I have to pay millions of dollars. Whoever thought of asking for payment AFTER showing parents how well the photos turned out was a marketing genius!
Kirsty Reply:
May 2nd, 2009 at 3:03 pm
That’s exactly how my school photos worked when I was a kid (way back in the 80s
). You’d get the selection of pics in convenient sizes, including some for giving to grandparents, and then pay for what you wanted to keep. And who’s going to send back pics of their own kids?
I have paid almost no attention to any of this. See, I don’t watch the news. You know, because the hiding my head under a blanket has worked so well for me in the past. I’ll never learn. Anyway, I sent you an email to go along with this post.
A friend sent me a picture of a small blond child kissing a pig through a wire fence with the caption: “This is how the Swine Flu started…Just remember to keep your hands and snouts to yourself!:
I wish the comments form allowed me to past in the picture.
Margaret
Jane Reply:
May 2nd, 2009 at 8:16 am
Hi Margaret — I put that picture, and another one I found of Winnie-the-Pooh in my post. Funny!
@Jane,
tell me about it on the pictures….I paid 54$ this week to ransome pics of the two oldest.
Steff
Jane Reply:
May 2nd, 2009 at 8:16 am
“Ransom” — perfect word for it! Wonder what will happen if I just keep them and act dumb if someone asks me if I ever saw them?
Steffj89 Reply:
May 2nd, 2009 at 7:44 pm
IDK Jane,
I accidentally got a double order year before last because when I got them in I didnt realize they had both kids in one envelope so I called and asked why i didnt get other kids and they sent me second full order of both kids…
Steff
Man, I guess I need to rescind my internet connection. This is the first time I’ve seen these pics! But, I guess if/when I get them from someone, it’ll be my Dad.
And the swine flu coming from Australia … I thought it wasn’t *that* far south of the border!
Maybe *I* should be the one wearing a mask, not those other people in LAX who jumped every time I coughed, sneezed, and whatever all over them. 
Thank you so much, nice job! Exactly the thing I had to know.