Yesterday Susan told Spot “You don’t have to say everything you do,” which was funny coming from last year’s winner of the flapping tongue macaroni trophy. I told Dick that Spot was making me crazy on Monday, and he said, “With the over-talking?” and I said of course not, I love being an accredited repository for every thought she ever thought of having. Dick tweeted about Spot’s condition and one of his friends replied that he would love it if his 10-month old son spoke to him all day, and I said, that’s his first kid, right?
Before the endless commentary began, it was our habit to take the kids to DI (Deseret Industries, a thrift shop) on the weekends, usually in the same trip as our weekly outing to the dollar theater (where we most recently saw Bedtime Stories — Adam Sandler’s best, which isn’t saying much, but it really was funny). DI is the kids’ favorite store, because it is the only store where they always get a toy. When Spot picked out yet another stuffed bunny, I suggested a nice soft bear instead (either of which would get a spin through the washing machine before my kids have a chance to drool that special nighttime drool all over them). Sally explained that Spot collects bunnies. If we go back the week after Easter, we’ll probably clean up on the bunny aisle, and this time Spot can explain in great detail exactly why she needs yet another first-litter-eating lagamorph.
Sure kid, if by “got new flipflops at DI” you mean “Mom brought up Susan’s last year flipflops when she couldn’t find your snow boots.”
I know that I should savor each funnily-pronounced word and cutely-incisive observation. And I do, I really do, until I’m concentrating on something else, and even though I can hear the decibel-escalating repetitions as she protests my inattention, I imagine that maybe this time she’ll get on with her day without the magical mom-affirmation of “Wow, yes honey, that’s great;” when she works herself up to the urgently-screeched message: “Mommy, I have a purple stroller,” I want to stick a fork in my neck.
Why do they tell us everything when nothing is very interesting, and then, when they start doing and thinking and feeling things that might actually merit discussion, they say their day was fine. And school was fine. And “I guess so” and “Sure” and “Whatever”? At least, I think that’s how a lot of teenagers talk. With my luck, I’ll still be getting the director’s cut when they move out of the house.
Jane
Comment of the Day from Beth:
Yes, we need to get our Lucy’s together. Because at 5 years old my Lucy does the same thing and has since she was 2. She talks — ALL DAY LONG. She is getting better, but once she has decided you are a person with whom she can be herself, well, the cascade of information flows like an unblocked dam. I bet though, that she will be your brightest kid yet. I think the talking implies questioning/observing your surroundings and that implies greater intelligence. Right? Doesn’t it? Otherwise I’m going to strangle her.
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I have often said we spend the first year dying for them to walk and talk and then forever more begging them to shut up and sit down.
I too love a lot of the cute mispronunciations and some of the pronouncements they make. I also have one who escalates….tbe longer you try to ignore it the louder it gets.
i am working very hard on acknowledging them the first time they speak so it wont get louder and so I dont feel the need to yell over them all the time.
steff
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Ah, Cora was also afflicted with a chatter-bug… And now as a first grader, she rejects my probes into her day when I pick her up from school. Sometimes, if I am very patient and I don’t ask too much, she will treat me with a story, though.
There are definitely still times when she annoys the daylights out of me with her voice, but that’s mostly whining and bickering with Conner. And the good stuff, she’s keeping to herself!
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You mean ALL children don’t repeat and repeat and repeat until you finally acknowledge the fact that she can throw her stuffed animal in the air. Or whatever other activity she’s doing that requires an audience. And I so agree, when it’s the time we want to hear about her every move, she’ll probably be silent …
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My two year old also never stops talking. Ever. And I have to acknowledge it all. Yesterday I accidentally asked him why he was so annoying. Luckily, not a word in his vocabulary yet.
I don’t know if this makes you feel better, but my 12 yo still goes on about every detail of her day and which friends are fighting and what her teacher said that was so funny. It is hard to focus on her talking (especially when I am in the middle of listening to the news on the radio). My 10 yo, however, won’t give up any information. He usually forgets to tell me important stuff, too (like school projects due or tearing the last pair of jeans he owns).
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Yes, we need to get our Lucy’s together. Because at 5 years old my Lucy does the same thing and has since she was 2. She talks — ALL DAY LONG. She is getting better, but once she has decided you are a person with whom she can be herself, well, the cascade of information flows like an unblocked dam. I bet though, that she will be your brightest kid yet. I think the talking implies questioning/observing your surroundings and that implies greater intelligence. Right? Doesn’t it? Otherwise I’m going to strangle her.
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Steff — I’ve never regretted the walking thing, but the talking, yes.
Gladis — Same has happened with my oldest too: trying to get school information is like pulling teeth, sometimes. And you’re right — works better to just be a good listener.
Amy — “Watch me, Mommy! Watch me!”
Charlotte — I’m made the mistake of saying in exasperation “I don’t CARE!” And then I repent quickly.
And no, that doesn’t make me feel better, seeing as I have ALL GIRLS.
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My son talks almost constantly (it’s kinda quiet now, with the TV on). When I announced on my blog I was pregnant with my daughter, someone said “Girls really do talk more.”
I thought “THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE.”
Now I hear Hayden picking up my responses that really mean “I’m not paying attention to you, I just want you to shut up.” (“Cool!” (curt tone), “Okay,” “whatever!”)
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Long time lurker, first time commenter.
Are men allowed to read this blog? Am I the only one (outside of your family members)? In my defense my wife found your blog and reads it every day. I don’t spend my days surfing for mommy blogs. Am I being too defensive about this? Anyway…
We have 3 girls. 7, 5 and 3. All of them have the nonstop talking thing. Car rides are amazing. All 3 of them talking/singing(Songs they’re making up as they go)/yelling/bird calling/”whistling”/etc… simultaneously. Sometimes for dozens of miles straight.
The only exception is the 7 year old when you ask about school. Then she can’t remember anything that happened, except maybe what she ate for lunch if she thinks about it hard enough. Although even that information is sometimes hard to decipher (Q: What did you eat for lunch today? A: Um, I don’t know what it’s called. It was on the bread like a hamburger but it’s not hamburger. You know that blueish grey meat?)
I grew up in a house with 4 sisters and I don’t anticipate the talking thing to stop. If anything I just expect the volume and drama to increase. I guess I’m just hoping that they will continue to talk to us.
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My first – age 2 – talks to himself all day long but it’s still cute. And it doesn’t annoy me at all. Yet. Although, sometimes he decides that everything has to be yelling and that is bothersome. Especially when baby is trying to sleep.
I hope that Felix does what one of my nieces did – narrate really funny play when she thinks nobody is listening. All my sister’s daughters (3 of them) are talkers and the boys kind of blend silently into the background. It’s a loud, and estrogen-filled, house.
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Jared-
You aren’t the only one.
And why be defensive? We’re parents too.
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Jared (and Dominic and Aaron and Eric and Josh and Jonathon and Mark and Ben and Kurt and … hmm)
I have literally TENS of male readers who are not related to me.
Maybe we should have national not-obvious-readership-by-gender de-lurker day.
I’m really not trying to be a “mommyblogger,” but I do think about mommy/parenthood things a lot, and I do think they are extremely significant. So.
My blog title actually is a play on that great Bill Murray movie What About Bob? As motherhood can drive you crazy in record time. But the other day (I guess it was on the beginning of February, but I just dvr’d it) I watched Groundhog Day and realized again how perfect it is. Changing urls is a big commitment, but that movie combined with my chagrin at having an exclusive-ish sounding word like “mom” in the title is enough for me to give it some serious thought.
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I’m so fascinated to know that a kid could talk to you ALL day. Evelyn spent most of that time of life screaming all day, and Eleyna just walks around whispering to the dollies she carries around. Eli talks really well for 2, but is definitely not a chatterbox. You should post a video of her talking so much. It’s got to be so cute, especially for those of us not yet annoyed.
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Since Jared ratted me out, I might as well comment.
I love your blog how it is. I’ve told Jared that I would like ours to be more essays(?) then what have my kids done today because I feel like there’s more to me then just my kids. However, the fact is that my kids are a very important part of my life also and I don’t want to cut them out by doing a separate blog then our family blog.
I got the reference and I think your title is a good match for your blog. I also think the real problem is the word “mommy blog.” It drives me crazy to look at my families blogs who only ever blog about there kids. I have a hard time believing that’s the only thing going on in their lives/minds. I think mommy blogs should be more like yours and it’s just unfortunate that moms don’t acknowledge they do have a brain and can use it.
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Yes! Yes! Yes! This is so spot on what I was thinking just yesterday, and you articulated it so well. Why, when they suddenly become interesting, do they clam up and not tell you anything? But yet, you get to hear every thought that has ever entered their head when there’s noting of interest in there?
Totally agree. About this and the Adam Sandler movie. Definitely one I’ll actually spend money on.
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I meant nothing of interest, not noting.
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Wait, Susan told Spot “You don’t have to say everything you do?” That means there’s hope after all? That’s a relief. Big relief.
I’m terrifed of what reports will get sent home when my 5 year old goes to Kindergarten in the fall. She is incapable of shutting her mouth.
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I guess this is one benefit of having all boys. They rarely talk enough, let alone too much! And every single one of them took forever to talk too. But I’m counting my blessings baby…
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The funny thing is that Sally was a late-ish talker. When we took her in for 18 mo checkup, she had no words, and the pediatrician said, “If she isn’t saying 6 words by 2 yo, we’ll send her to a therapist for evaluation.” And then we moved to Cairo, and I wasn’t worried and when she hit 2 1/2 she started talking in complete sentences suddenly.
The school thing is weird, too. It’s like they spend all day talking to the other kids, so they have less to say at home? Esp. about school. Sally was also a late-ish reader, but once she hit 6 1/2 she started Harry Potter and we didn’t see her for a couple months. Now she reads all the time, and that cuts back on the talking too.
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Oh, and Jared and Brittney.
First, Jared — I absolutely fear for my sanity when puberty starts hitting these girls. The year each goes through 7th grade, I will probably need to be medicated. (I wonder if your wife appreciates all the pre-training your sisters did on you?) Oh, and the school lunch. Why is what they ate the most memorable part of the day? Why?
Brittney — Yes, I definitely want to have essays mixed in with the daily happenings, or essays about daily happenings or something. My favorite books growing up were all of the Anne of Green Gables and L.M. Montgomery’s other novels and short stories, and many of them are simple, everyday record-type books. Fiction, of course, but not crazy plots or anything.
I think (hope) that most women think about things other than what’s satirized on Seriously, So Blessed, but when we’re stuck (or blessed) in this situation of 24/7 mothering, sometimes it is hard to step back and think of other things. Not really. I think a lot about other things, otherwise I’d go crazy, but those disjointed thoughts too-rarely end up in some coherent writing. It’s the step of making the thoughts presentable to the world that takes time and energy that is sometimes not left over after everyone at home is taken care of. You know?
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I’m afraid I still offer the directors cut to anyone willing to listen. Sometimes my husband will get annoyed and say “Cliffs Notes Please.” So there is a chance the chattiness will be here to stay.
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Yeah, I think I do. I often write a line down for a new post that I will hopefully get to later and never do. Looking through I have almost as many unfinished posts as finished ones. It’s most frustrating at night when I am going to bed. I think of things I want to learn more about and elaborate on but I don’t have anything to write it down (and it’s dark). By morning I usually can’t remember what they were.
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I thoroughly enjoyed this post (as I do all your writing). Your responses were great too. Right now I have three boys and one girl. My daughter’s nickname is Gabbers because she just does NOT stop. I do recall though when my oldest was about Spot’s age following me around the house chatting at me as I did chores. It didn’t get too frustrating until he reached the point of asking me repeatedly what I was doing and why. I remembering him asking me about making beds and me totally losing it. “What do you THINK I’m doing?! What does it LOOK like? What did I just tell you THREE SECONDS AGO?! Is it seriously so interesting that you MUST discuss the folds and tucking and smoothing and EVERYTHING?!” I wanted to rip my hair out. I think I even told him to GO PLAY WITH TOYS AND LEAVE ME ALONE.
As you can tell, some don’t grow out of it– like me. I liked Laura Williams comment. It describes me and Danny perfectly. But I’m not always chatty with everyone– just some people. and on some subjects. lol
Just wait, you’ll get boys one day and once they pass the walking milestone it’s like they don’t have a deceleration mode. My boys run circles through the living room and kitchen. They probably run as much as Gabbers talks.
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P.S. Spot is uber-adorable.
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My 10 year old STILL announces everything. STILLLLLLL.
“I’m getting a drink of water!” “I’m going to the bathroom!” “I need to put on some socks cuz my feet are cold!”
Aaaarrrrggghhh!!!!!
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My kids are a lot older and still love to tell me all of their happenings. At times I just want to pull out my hair. But, at their ages I have come to appreciate the open communication. I realize that many families don’t have that. And trust me, it is open. Ask me about the sex talk we had with our boys. Hilarious and wonderful all at the same time. And it also proves that listening to all their semi annoying babble over the years has paid off.
I actually have 2 separate blogs. I am by no means a writer and could never make my family blog as eloquent as your blog is. Sometimes i am just proud of myself for knowing and understanding the words on your blog. I use my personal blog to post my whacky thoughts. And trust me… They are whacky.
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My teens totally buck all the “no chatter” rules – in fact, my almost-13yo talks just as much now as she did when she was 3. Which is A LOT. My 15yo also likes to go on and on about so-and-so who did this and so-and-so who said that, yadda yadda. I put on my best Interested Mother face and try to remain grateful that they still like talking to me!
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You guys are all making me want to be a better, more-listening mom.
I do remember when I was in high school, whenever I got home from school, I’d search the house until I found my mom (I’m the oldest of 5), and she’d often be in the kitchen or in her sewing room, and I’d tell her all about my day. She always acted like what was going on in my life was really important, and I want to do that for my kids.
I also always had to wake them up when I came home from dates. My curfew was midnight, so I’d walk a few steps into their room and talk to them as they lay in bed. It always ended the evening right, you know?
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[...] now for Stacy, who requested a video of Spot’s non-stop chatter, I have for your viewing pleasure a short recording of Spot in [...]