I know we’re in a recession, but it still makes me feel unspeakably wealthy and privileged whenever I take my kids to the dentist. There’s just something about all that equipment and technology being focused on my daughters’ teeth, which are going to fall out in a few years, that reminds me how incredibly different our lives would be if we’d been born in Garbage City.
Also I feel like such a good mommy when I subject them to the cleaning and flouride and x-rays. I hope this bi-annual spectacle of responsibility on my part makes up for lackadaisical morning brushing, not to mention non-existent flossing.
I’m going in myself next week, to get the chip in my front tooth fixed. A chip I did not notice until one day I was looking in the mirror and I wondered who that hick with the chipped tooth was. Oh. Time to get the gray in my hair touched up, too, probably.
Today was Fat Tuesday/National Pancake Day, so after the dentist I took my girls to IHOP for a free shortstack. (I assume prophylactic flouride counteracts one morning of unrighteous carbs.)
When I asked Susan, ever-so-non-pressuringly, if she’d like me to cut her pancakes, she screeched. Loudly. Right in the middle of the high-class IHOP dining area. There was yelling about not liking her pancakes cut ever and being so mad that I’m always trying to cut her pancakes and also that she hates me.
Normally this would really upset me. But I was determined that we were having a fun girls’ morning out, a mother-daughter date that we’d all look back on as the beginning of a fun tradition, maybe, or at least a good experience to associate with going to the dentist.
So I talked to her patiently, really low, and, to my utter flabbergastation, she calmed instantly. She may have even conversed pleasantly for the rest of breakfast, though I was in too much of a “really? That parenting technique worked?” fog to notice.
Is it weird that the more I enjoy the three children I have, the less inclined I am to have another?
We stopped at Old Navy for socks and Target for some dollar spot deals, and then headed back to Seagull Fountain to get Sally to school. Punctuality and not missing any unnecessary school are really important to me.
Sally said her tummy hurt and probably she should stay home for the rest of the day. I suggested that maybe she was just feeling a little nervous about walking in late, but I was sure she’d be happy once she was there among her friends. She said her tummy really, really hurt, and that she could prove it by lying on her bed all day. I said, “Without a book?” and she said, “Of course not without a book.”
So I shared with her this fundamental truth of life: “Wanting to lie on your bed all day with a book doesn’t mean you’re sick. It means you’re normal.” Now get inside Miss Jones.*
I asked if she’d feel better if we walked in with her, which probably is what good mommies are supposed to do anyway, since the school office people like to give you those little slips of paper that declare the absence “excused,” which is kind of like a cashier at the grocery store telling me it’s okay to feed my kids leftover spaghetti for lunch.
So we kissed and hugged and Susan and Spot and I left, talking affirmatively all the while about how exciting it will be when they get to go to school in a few years.
Then Sally ran out the door behind us, crying, because her class wasn’t in the room, and she had no idea where they were.
Normally this would really bug me, because, what are you, EIGHT, Sally? But she is my baby, my first baby, and I can almost remember how traumatic things can be in second grade, like the time I peed my pants in Mrs. Ortgiesen’s class because I didn’t want to get out of line for the take-home library book. And if I think this is bad? Hello. WHAT am I gonna do when these girls turn thirteen?
So we walked her back in and found her class friends in the lunchroom. Smiles all around and another mushy leave-taking.
And three stinky-cute kids have taught this dense mommy another fundamental truth of life: “Try a little patience, a little empathy, understanding, and compassion, and this mommy gig is suddenly not so hard.”
Jane
*Some Kind of Wonderful
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So sweet.
Awwww, aren’t you all just so dang cute?!?
One questions, are Susan’s shoes on backwards?
“which is kind of like a cashier at the grocery store telling me it’s okay to feed my kids leftover spaghetti for lunch”. EXACTLY how I feel about that situation!
This was a beautiful post.
Yes — her shoes are on backwards. I fixed it after I took the pictures. Because, you know, I don’t really look at my kids unless there’s a photo opportunity.
Man – I sure miss you and your girls. I think we better come up to see you guys afterall. You are looking good – is that makeup? Lipstick at least? I like the lips.
“And three stinky-cute kids have taught this dense mommy another fundamental truth of life: “Try a little patience, a little empathy, understanding, and compassion, and this mommy gig is suddenly not so hard.”
This morning I tried that with my 8 year old. He didn’t want to go to school, he hates life, life is hard, I’m mean, school is hard, he hates school, etc. I swear to you, I was sweet, patient, compassionate, understanding, but the sweeter I was the bigger fit he threw. I swear, I don’t even know my 8 year old half the time. It’s like what planet are you from? I even asked him if he wants Daddy to give him a blessing and he said no, he hates blessings, they’re stupid. Where on earth does this come from? So today I am definitely feeling like the worst mother of all time that my sweet 8 year old is already acting like a teenager. Anyway, not that this has anything to do with your post. I’m just venting. I had so much fun last night reading stories and singing songs with my boys and then this morning I get this. So maybe I’m just a teensy bit jealous of you and your fun day out. It will get better, I hope.
Sharla, I’m happy to provide a space for you to vent here, and I’m sorry my wonderful, patented technique didn’t work on your offspring, but I gotta tell you that it’s not a reflection on you. And I know you’ve been reading this blog long enough to know that moments like this one of mine are the exception and not the rule with my kids.
(And last night, after I read Mr. Fine, Porcupine for the 7 millionth time, I locked myself in my bedroom while Dick did the actual putting down. When the rustling finally stopped, I let myself out and did some kissing rounds. Sometimes you have to let someone else do the chore part and focus on the sweet, almost-asleep part.)
Sounds to me like your kid is 1000% normal, AND lucky to have you for a mom.
I remember when my oldest was 8. Such a great time. Now he is an old man at 13. Such a sweet way to spend the day with your kids. I am looking forward to summer break to have days of just Mommy and boys time.
When will people stop asking if their shoes are on backwards? LOL I get that EVERY SINGLE STINKING TIME. Yes, they are backwards, and yes I let my kids put their own shoes on so they inevitably end up backwards on occasion, and yes I’ll change them now.
Ew! Mushy post, I love it! You’re girls are absolutely adorable. I’m so thankful I had at least one girl. Also, I agree with the “Try a little patience, a little empathy, understanding, and compassion, and this mommy gig is suddenly not so hard.” I work on that everyday.
Wow, I’m really proud of you. I will say that as my impatience and stress level rises so do the kids. The more upset I am, the more angry/stubborn/annoying they get. Two moments in one day when you could have yelled and you didn’t. Watch you grow!!
Perfect analogy there… (the school office people one)
My kids are screwed, basically. I hate the dentist (as I am sure many people do) but I think my hatred borders on pathological (unremembered trauma from childhood, maybe?) I haven’t been in years (I won’t go into details on that because it’s not pretty.) Poor Joseph…
I took my kids to the dentist on Monday and I also have this feeling like “look at me, affordin this fancy dentisty stuff!” I didn’t grow up poor and we saw the dentist often so I don’t know why it makes me feel this way but I do. Both kids were having a filling done and when H was having hers, G came and held her hand. Isn’t that just freakin adorable? Made me think having kids was a good idea also.
Oh, I could really use more patience with my kids. It is hard, but I too have noticed when I behave with patience and compassion things go a lot better. Thanks for the good reminder.
Now I need to go make a few dentist appointments too.
All I’ve been able to think about since reading this post is … when is Spot having her first dentist’s visit? Because whenever she’s having hers is when I should be scheduling M for her first … and I can’t remember back that far to know when I started seeing the dentist, but given the number of fillings I have, it probably wasn’t early enough!
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