Kirsty asked about Mormon baptisms. I started to respond to her comment, and then realized I was writing a novel. In case anyone else is interested, here it is:
Kirsty wrote: I’d love for you to teach me more about Mormon baptisms. I grew up in a Catholic family, and became Anglican (Episcopal) in my early 20s. So I’m familiar with the traditions and rituals of those two denominations, but from what I’ve seen in some TV shows, Mormon traditions are different (and guess that “Big Love” probably doesn’t represent every Mormon family 
). Why is Dick in a white dress/garment? That kind of thing is interesting to me.
I’m happy to answer your questions, Kirsty, though I am not an expert except in the matter of my own opinions , nor am I a perfect example of anything. (For more official doctrine, see Mormon.org).
First, Big Love we are not (the Mormon church discontinued the practice of polygamy in 1890). I confess I haven’t seen the show; the history and concept of polygamy bother me enough that I prefer not to think about it on a regular basis. There are other doctrinal things in my own and other churches that bother me, but my abiding faith is in a Heavenly Father who loves me and wants me to be happy. Everything else can be worked out.
Before I was married, I went to my stake president (like a Bishop in the Catholic faith) and asked if I would be consenting to anything like polygamy when Dick and I were married in the Manti temple. I was ready to skip getting married if there were any hint of committing to that type of thing. He said there was not, and he was right. I don’t know what will happen in the next life, but for right now I am very, very happy in my marriage to Dick, confident that he has all he can handle in me.
On Mormon baptism, the first thing is the Mormon concept of priesthood. In Israelite/Old Testament times, the male members of the Levite tribe were ordained to the priesthood and had the duties of church office. As I’m sure you know, most churches nowadays require a man (or woman in some denominations) to complete a theological degree before being ordained, and then those members of the priesthood have a theological occupation/vocation.
In the Mormon church, all worthy males are ordained to the priesthood. We have a lay clergy. Our bishops (like priests or pastors) and other leaders are unpaid volunteers. When Dick served his 2-year mission to Venezuela, his parents and his home congregation helped pay his living expenses. Of course our prophet, the president of the church, and other high-up leaders who travel and dedicate all their time to the church have stipends, but they are modest people, and one of the things I like most about my church is the financial fidelity and accountability. (Since we tithe 10% of our income, this is VERY important to me!).
Anyway, Dick has the authority in our church to serve as a kind of priest to our family (actually he is the “patriarch” in the sense that Adam and Noah and Abraham, etc, were to their families). He is to use this authority to serve, to minister, to bless our children when they are sick or anxious. He blessed me before and after I miscarried my second pregnancy, and it was a tremendous comfort to me. Some men (being men) get a little carried away in their authority, but I assure you that we do not have that problem at Chez Dick and Jane.
When Sally was born, my sweet mother-in-law and awesome sister-in-law came to visit us in NYC. (Dick joined our church at 15, and his family are not members). I was excited for them to see that Dick, acting as the priesthood holder in our family, was able to perform the ordinance of giving Sally a name (similar to the christening). Nana Marian and Auntie Liz weren’t very impressed — they wanted to know why I wasn’t up there at the front of the church too.
And I confess there were times in my teens that I wondered why it is that men get the priesthood and women don’t (which I believe is how it still is in the Catholic church at least, right?), but the older I get, the less it bothers me. Because the priesthood is not a self-aggrandizer, but a tool with which ones serves. And I have plenty of opportunities to minister to my kids and my husband (and others) without it!
So, Mormon baptism is another ordinance that Dick, ordained to the priesthood, is able to perform. And Mormon baptism is by immersion, which is why Sally and Dick are both wearing jumpsuits. Rather unattractive but highly functional and durable white jumpsuits that the church supplies, white symbolizing purity, etc. I wore a white dress to my baptism (23! years ago), but girls now have to wear the jumpsuits too — cuts down on skirts flying up.
My mom made a gorgeous medieval-style dress for Sally to wear after the baptism, but it needed a little alteration. I’ll post a picture of her in it after she wears it to church this Sunday.
I hope that explains things. If you have any other questions, let me know!
Jane
p.s. Doctrinal and traditional differences between religions are fascinating to me, too. I’ve been corresponding with Jennifer over at Conversion Diary about Natural Family Planning (not something I have any experience of), and I’m learning a lot.
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jane
you may already know this, but in case you dont, when the prophet receives as stipend as well some other officials in our church, the stipend never comes from tithing funds or fast offering funds. all stipends come from business ventures that the church owns; ie Bonneville communications, etc.
i was very pleasantly surprised to hear this. it only makes sense.
Very interesting! Thank you for the explanations.
Now that I’ve picked myself up off the couch (I was happily surprised that you’d posted again today, and then I saw my name in the title – crikey!
), thanks for your explanation Jane. I knew I could look up the proper, official information on mormon.org, but I wanted to hear your personal side of it, as someone who grew up within the Mormon faith and is now raising your family within that faith.
Yes, you’re right, within the Catholic church currently priests are only men, not women. The only ordained clergy role currently for women is as nuns (and even then I don’t think they’re actually “ordained” as nuns). I’ve not been invovled in the Catholic church for a number of years, but remember my high school principal, a nun, commenting that the Catholic church would need to let priests be married before they would be likely to allow women to be priests.
Thanks again for the explanation.
Oh, another thing – can anyone attend the baptism, or can only Mormons attend? A new temple opened (was consecrated? dedicated?)here a few years ago, and before the consecration, anyone was allowed to go inside and check it out. But after the dedication, only Mormons can go in, right?
A large part of Matilda’s baptism for me (she was 4 months old, so more like Sally’s naming) was being surrounded by family and friends and having the baptism within the Sunday morning church service. Some of my favourite lines are where the whole church congregation promises to help the child (or on occasion adult) in their faith journey. At some point, when she’s Sally age or a bit older, she will confirm the vows we made for her at her baptism, and take on her faith journey for herself. I suddenly realise I’m being somewhat presumptuous that she’ll continue on the faith journey we anticipate for her, but that’s my right as a Mama.
Jane, great explanation! Well written too.
Kristy, I know you asked a question of Jane, but I would love to answer it if I may. Anyone is welcome to attend a baptism. My grandparents were not members of my faith, but they attended my baptism and my sisters’ baptisms. It was a lovely experience and they were always supportive.
Thanks for explaining that, I have an acquaintence that’s newly joined to the Mormon faith, and I wasn’t really sure what the baptism ceremony entailed. I was wondering: is the ordinance for giving the baby’s name part of a formal ceremony? Is it appropriate to give a heirloom gift at that time, like for a christening? Or is it more an event that just close family members attend? This acquaintance is just starting with children, and we weren’t sure if there were a special time to give a formal gift to the baby. Thank you.
Kirsty — As Tiffany said, the person getting baptized and everyone else would be more than happy for you to attend a baptism.
Open houses are held at all of our temples in an effort to do missionary work (to get people interested), but also to show the community that we’re good neighbors. We don’t do any weird things in them (well, “weird” is subjective I guess). My point is we like to differentiate between “secret” and “sacred.” Anyone can go inside a temple before it’s dedicated and see that it’s not so different from other houses of worship. What makes it different is that it’s considered a literal house of God once it’s been dedicated to Him.
Anna — Formal/heirloom gifts aren’t common for a baby blessing in the Mormon church. (Of course gifts are always nice, but they’re not expected). The blessing itself is a short prayer at the beginning of a regular church service on Sunday. Extended family will make an effort to attend, but usually only a few very close friends (our families are often big, so usually there are plenty of aunts and uncles and cousins). The regular congregation is there too. Sometimes families bless their babies at home, but these are usually just for the extended family too.
I’m sure your acquaintance would be happy for you to attend the blessing and that day’s service if you’re interested. But it’s not really a “ceremony,” per se, if that makes any sense.
This is so interesting, Jane. Thanks for sharing with such candor.
I also think it’s very cool that you’re corresponding with Jennifer at Conversion Diary. I read her regularly and her posts truly challenge me to take a look at my own Catholicism and examine where I stand on “big” issues.
The birth control issue has always been a big sticking point for me; I do understand (quite well, in fact) the Catechism behind it. And I do also understand how NFP works – used it to get pregnant with my first. It’s just a big, big thing to fully commit oneself to. And NFP works well when and only when you can be completely detail-oriented/obsessed about it; it’s not always easy to take a basal temperature lying still in bed at the same time every day when you’ve got three kids running amok through the kitchen!
Ok, TMI.
Love the family photo from the baptism, too. Bee-YOU-ti-ful!!
Thanks about the point on secret vs sacred. I guess I’d only ever heard non-Mormons tell me that “only Mormons can go into their temples”, not that it is God’s house for His people to worship in. And in a way, that’s kind of nice.
I’ve found the tourist hordes in places like Westminster Cathedral and St. Paul’s in London, the Blue Mosque in Istanbul, and St. Peter’s in Rome to generally treat these houses of God as Another Old Building to see on their touring itinerary, sneak photos even if vergers are chasing them down and “no photos” signs are almost more prominent than the religious iconography. It’s also very surreal to be surrounded by robed nuns, who are also trying to take a photo of the Pieta.
OK, enough travel bragging.
I love the way that you explain this. I’m glad that people are asking questions and are curious to know the real truth behind our religion.
Kirsty — I got mad at the Japanese tourists in Verona who all wanted their pictures taken with Juliet’s statue, holding one of her breasts. Erk.
(And I wanted to mention that there have been times that I’ve not felt worthy to go to the temple. There’s a list of questions (like, are you morally clean, do you pay your tithing, etc) before you can go in the temple, and the last question is “do you feel worthy?” It’s a hard question to answer, sometimes.)
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