Comments on: Hello, my name is Jane, and I am a rage-aholic http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/ online mother Tue, 07 Feb 2012 20:38:54 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: milly http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-3/#comment-65235 milly Mon, 01 Nov 2010 19:49:37 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-65235 hello jane, your story and others have really struck a chord. I am a single mum of a 7yrold dyslexic boy who is loving, helpful, understanding and very forgiving. I am a very angry mum and the guilt makes it worse, i didn't have any guideance from my parents which i am still angry about, i think i over compensate for the lack of guideance and emotional intelligence that i never had. I get cross if things don't go my way, i can't sit and do homework with my son without looseing it. I feel i haven't quite grown up, and feel i am lacking in alot of areas, the child in me comes out when i don't know what to do in a situation, then i get angry, i say horrid things to him, then end up apologising, with nice words hugs and cuddles. This just isn't enough. My mum is bipolar but refuse to believe that i am the same, doctors just fob me off with antidepressants which i don't want to take. I feel sorry for my little boy to have a mother like me, i really want to change but feel this is so inground in me. I want family counseling but can't afford it, your all doing so well with recognising and changing your behaviour, i have attempted too so many times but just fail. It's a viscious circle that i can't seem to exit from. Maybe i am mentally unstable? hello jane, your story and others have really struck a chord. I am a single mum of a 7yrold dyslexic boy who is loving, helpful, understanding and very forgiving. I am a very angry mum and the guilt makes it worse, i didn’t have any guideance from my parents which i am still angry about, i think i over compensate for the lack of guideance and emotional intelligence that i never had. I get cross if things don’t go my way, i can’t sit and do homework with my son without looseing it. I feel i haven’t quite grown up, and feel i am lacking in alot of areas, the child in me comes out when i don’t know what to do in a situation, then i get angry, i say horrid things to him, then end up apologising, with nice words hugs and cuddles. This just isn’t enough. My mum is bipolar but refuse to believe that i am the same, doctors just fob me off with antidepressants which i don’t want to take. I feel sorry for my little boy to have a mother like me, i really want to change but feel this is so inground in me. I want family counseling but can’t afford it, your all doing so well with recognising and changing your behaviour, i have attempted too so many times but just fail. It’s a viscious circle that i can’t seem to exit from. Maybe i am mentally unstable?

]]> By: Elizabeth http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-3/#comment-63802 Elizabeth Tue, 05 Oct 2010 17:04:31 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-63802 I struggle with this at times as well. However, I don't entirely agree with this end conclusion (change the circumstances so that you don't get angry). It must go deeper. Circumstances (being tired, hungry, etc.) merely reveal what is in our hearts. If I bump a cup of water, what's going to come out? Not oil. Water. Why? Because water is what was in the cup. If the circumstances of life "bump me", what comes out (anger, impatience, love, kindness, gentleness), is what was already in my heart (Matthew 15:18, James 4:1-2). I was recently blessed by the book "Gospel-centred Family) by Ed Moll and Tim Chester which also addresses the issue, among other parenting topics. I put some relevant quotes on my blog yesterday. Check them out if you're interested. ;) http://blog.hankinsfamily.com/2010/10/book-review-gospel-centred-family.html I struggle with this at times as well. However, I don’t entirely agree with this end conclusion (change the circumstances so that you don’t get angry). It must go deeper. Circumstances (being tired, hungry, etc.) merely reveal what is in our hearts. If I bump a cup of water, what’s going to come out? Not oil. Water. Why? Because water is what was in the cup. If the circumstances of life “bump me”, what comes out (anger, impatience, love, kindness, gentleness), is what was already in my heart (Matthew 15:18, James 4:1-2).

I was recently blessed by the book “Gospel-centred Family) by Ed Moll and Tim Chester which also addresses the issue, among other parenting topics. I put some relevant quotes on my blog yesterday. Check them out if you’re interested. ;) http://blog.hankinsfamily.com/2010/10/book-review-gospel-centred-family.html

]]> By: Elizabeth http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-3/#comment-63800 Elizabeth Tue, 05 Oct 2010 16:48:21 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-63800 A book that I have found very helpful in this for myself is "Gospel-centred Family" by Ed Moll and Tim Chester. I quoted some of it on my blog yesterday...great stuff! A book that I have found very helpful in this for myself is “Gospel-centred Family” by Ed Moll and Tim Chester. I quoted some of it on my blog yesterday…great stuff!

]]> By: Valerie http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-3/#comment-63680 Valerie Mon, 04 Oct 2010 00:36:29 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-63680 What a blesing this blog is - I can see that it's been awhile since the last posts, but good is still coming from it, as I needed very much to read this today. As a single, working mom who just turned 50, I waited so long for a child that it honestly didn't occur to me that anger would be a problem, but, as one of the bloggers mentioned, the toddler years are very difficult for me. While I can truthfully say it is a great age because of her enthusiasm, desire to learn, etc., the challenges wore me down. Here is what I have found that helped: - Honestly, what Jane said in the beginning about taking care of yourself is so true. For me, it was caffeine - no matter how tired I was, if I added caffeine to the mix, my ability to back off my anger when I felt it building could get very difficult. - I began to plan every day more activities than could actually be done by my toddler in a day, and mimicked what took place in daycare during the week. The reality that toddlers can give about 5 solid minutes of attention to an activity before wanting to move on is so challenging to deal with! - I prayed about it - every morning I prayed to God to please help me get through this time. As I'm sure you all feel, I would look in the mirror and say that I DO NOT WANT TO BE THIS PERSON. - I did talk to my toddler and showed her far more love and respect than anger - KEEP ON TRYING. Live in the moment, take responsibility for the moment you are in, slow down so that when that moment of choice to choose anger or happiness is in front of you, you have the discipline, after much practice, to back off the anger. - I personalized my anger and refused to take the bait. I figured that if my anger was a monster outside of myself, yelling at my toddler the way I yelled, I would beat that monster out the door of my house with a stick. The monster might get a foothold because I was tired, or I had just lost a promotion because I couldn't travel, or I was stressed at the condition of my once sparkling home, or I had been yelled at by my toddler and told "NO!" for the 15th time in as many minutes. BUT STILL - the monster was not welcome in my home. - All that being said, it was still hard! And talking with you all about it and hearing your struggles helps. What a blesing this blog is – I can see that it’s been awhile since the last posts, but good is still coming from it, as I needed very much to read this today. As a single, working mom who just turned 50, I waited so long for a child that it honestly didn’t occur to me that anger would be a problem, but, as one of the bloggers mentioned, the toddler years are very difficult for me. While I can truthfully say it is a great age because of her enthusiasm, desire to learn, etc., the challenges wore me down. Here is what I have found that helped:

- Honestly, what Jane said in the beginning about taking care of yourself is so true. For me, it was caffeine – no matter how tired I was, if I added caffeine to the mix, my ability to back off my anger when I felt it building could get very difficult.
- I began to plan every day more activities than could actually be done by my toddler in a day, and mimicked what took place in daycare during the week. The reality that toddlers can give about 5 solid minutes of attention to an activity before wanting to move on is so challenging to deal with!
- I prayed about it – every morning I prayed to God to please help me get through this time. As I’m sure you all feel, I would look in the mirror and say that I DO NOT WANT TO BE THIS PERSON.
- I did talk to my toddler and showed her far more love and respect than anger
- KEEP ON TRYING. Live in the moment, take responsibility for the moment you are in, slow down so that when that moment of choice to choose anger or happiness is in front of you, you have the discipline, after much practice, to back off the anger.
- I personalized my anger and refused to take the bait. I figured that if my anger was a monster outside of myself, yelling at my toddler the way I yelled, I would beat that monster out the door of my house with a stick. The monster might get a foothold because I was tired, or I had just lost a promotion because I couldn’t travel, or I was stressed at the condition of my once sparkling home, or I had been yelled at by my toddler and told “NO!” for the 15th time in as many minutes. BUT STILL – the monster was not welcome in my home.
– All that being said, it was still hard! And talking with you all about it and hearing your struggles helps.

]]> By: rinnie http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-3/#comment-59822 rinnie Sun, 01 Aug 2010 08:53:25 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-59822 This is a great article, thanks so much for you candor ...very helpful. This is a great article, thanks so much for you candor …very helpful.

]]> By: Robyn http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-1/#comment-48123 Robyn Thu, 14 Jan 2010 13:54:33 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-48123 You should step back and think what is really making you angry. It's prob. not your husband. It's something inside you. You just let him be the outlet. It's really bad. Just think if it where him yelling at you constantly. It's not a good place to be. It could lead to the break down of your marriage. He will resent you. So try to take a breathe and understand your anger. These days we all have reasons to be stressed and angry. But we can't get through these tough times without the person we chose to marry and love. Good luck. I am hear because I yell too much at my children. It's my stress level. I feel like a time bomb about to explode. Good Luck for both of us. You should step back and think what is really making you angry. It’s prob. not your husband. It’s something inside you. You just let him be the outlet. It’s really bad. Just think if it where him yelling at you constantly. It’s not a good place to be. It could lead to the break down of your marriage. He will resent you. So try to take a breathe and understand your anger. These days we all have reasons to be stressed and angry. But we can’t get through these tough times without the person we chose to marry and love. Good luck. I am hear because I yell too much at my children. It’s my stress level. I feel like a time bomb about to explode. Good Luck for both of us.

]]> By: What a mother should look like | Seagull Fountain http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-3/#comment-47206 What a mother should look like | Seagull Fountain Mon, 04 Jan 2010 05:14:34 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-47206 [...] If you have read this website for any amount of time, you know that I am rather preoccupied with what a mother should sound like, or rather, my regret over too often not sounding like what I think a mother should sound like. [...] [...] If you have read this website for any amount of time, you know that I am rather preoccupied with what a mother should sound like, or rather, my regret over too often not sounding like what I think a mother should sound like. [...]

]]> By: amanda http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-2/#comment-45982 amanda Tue, 15 Dec 2009 05:31:58 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-45982 thank you all. thank you all.

]]> By: Krissy http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-2/#comment-45024 Krissy Mon, 30 Nov 2009 07:54:07 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-45024 Thank you so much for this post!! I found it when I was looking for help. I come to you from the other side. My three boys and I are the ones that get yelled at daily... as my boys get older they have all started to think that this way of life is ok... My husband will yell at almost anything... If he wakes up in the AM. and he cant find socks to wear or if the dishes are not put away( they were washed and in the dish washer, but not put away yet) If I ask him a question while he is watching tv.... But he will want to have a full conversation while one of my shows are on... It is all very hurtful and as the day goes on it only gets worse... He will get to the point where he starts using bad words and calling us names. Usually if he starts yelling sometime during the day he will not stop until bedtime.I have tried many ways to try to help.. we don't say anything to him and let him rant and rave.. Or after being yelled at all day I will calmly ask him to stop talking to us that way.. Well now I have become a B**** or a nag and why do I like to bring stuff up to fight about... He gets upset with me because we don't have sex as much as we used to.. I really have a hard time giving myself to him after a day of being treated badly.. My husband rarely does any housework or cooking. He goes to work, watches tv and gets on the computer. My boys help me out alot to try to get everyhing done. We may have one or two"GOOD" days a weak.. Believe it or not I really do Love my husband . I know I will stay with him I just need some help... I have asked him to think about what he is saying before he says it.. I also have told him that he would never put up with me talking to him like that all the time... I try real hard not to yell back . I do this to show him that you can get mad or upset and not yell. I think it is our only problem in our Marriage, but I will say it has ruined my self esteem, my happiness, my confidence and my boys are the same way.. It makes me double think that he even loves or likes us..... If anyone has any idea on how to help us through this, I am desperate... Am I doing something wrong, How can I help someone with this problem if they don't even want to talk to me about it? So, if I can't help him with this can someone please help me and tell me how to deal with it how do I stay out of harms way... Thank you.. Thank you so much for this post!! I found it when I was looking for help. I come to you from the other side. My three boys and I are the ones that get yelled at daily… as my boys get older they have all started to think that this way of life is ok… My husband will yell at almost anything… If he wakes up in the AM. and he cant find socks to wear or if the dishes are not put away( they were washed and in the dish washer, but not put away yet) If I ask him a question while he is watching tv…. But he will want to have a full conversation while one of my shows are on… It is all very hurtful and as the day goes on it only gets worse… He will get to the point where he starts using bad words and calling us names. Usually if he starts yelling sometime during the day he will not stop until bedtime.I have tried many ways to try to help.. we don’t say anything to him and let him rant and rave.. Or after being yelled at all day I will calmly ask him to stop talking to us that way.. Well now I have become a B**** or a nag and why do I like to bring stuff up to fight about… He gets upset with me because we don’t have sex as much as we used to.. I really have a hard time giving myself to him after a day of being treated badly.. My husband rarely does any housework or cooking. He goes to work, watches tv and gets on the computer. My boys help me out alot to try to get everyhing done. We may have one or two”GOOD” days a weak.. Believe it or not I really do Love my husband . I know I will stay with him I just need some help… I have asked him to think about what he is saying before he says it.. I also have told him that he would never put up with me talking to him like that all the time… I try real hard not to yell back . I do this to show him that you can get mad or upset and not yell. I think it is our only problem in our Marriage, but I will say it has ruined my self esteem, my happiness, my confidence and my boys are the same way.. It makes me double think that he even loves or likes us….. If anyone has any idea on how to help us through this, I am desperate… Am I doing something wrong, How can I help someone with this problem if they don’t even want to talk to me about it? So, if I can’t help him with this can someone please help me and tell me how to deal with it how do I stay out of harms way… Thank you..

]]> By: kel http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-1/#comment-43936 kel Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:11:55 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-43936 I have hurt my husband with words. So much so that I feel so much remorse, I refuse to forgive myself. I don't know how to stop this cycle. I began getting very angry about 3 years ago. I believe that I've always had this anger, but never was able to release it emotionally. I have learned to blame circumstances on my rage, but I can't do it anymore. I just want to love him. No matter how much I feel he is deserves it. I KNOW nobody deserves to be yelled at or belittled. Help! I have hurt my husband with words. So much so that I feel so much remorse, I refuse to forgive myself. I don’t know how to stop this cycle. I began getting very angry about 3 years ago. I believe that I’ve always had this anger, but never was able to release it emotionally. I have learned to blame circumstances on my rage, but I can’t do it anymore. I just want to love him. No matter how much I feel he is deserves it. I KNOW nobody deserves to be yelled at or belittled. Help!

]]> By: teen cams http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-2/#comment-43308 teen cams Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:11:15 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-43308 Sexy MILF cams, dedicated to matures lovers is a large adult video webcam chat network with hot and horny milf models always ready for live nude cam shows Sexy MILF cams, dedicated to matures lovers is a large adult video webcam chat network with hot and horny milf models always ready for live nude cam shows

]]> By: Monique http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-2/#comment-43045 Monique Mon, 19 Oct 2009 04:23:02 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-43045 Hello Jane, I know it's been awhile but I've been looking for support about yelling and found your blog. It is nice to know I am not alone. Well I guess it is but it isn't at the same time. I've been yelling at my 14 month old and I feel so ashamed. I'm a single mother going to school and trying to work when I can. I was raised in a really abusive home growing up. My mother always yelled and hit me and we still fight to do this day sometimes. I hardly get a break. The only time I can afford to have sitters is when I'm giving a massage or going to school. So time alone is few and far between. Everytime I promise myself I'm not going to lose it it creeeps back in there. I feel even more terrible when she wants to kiss me after yelling at her. I tell her I'm sorry and I give her lots of hugs and snuggles but sometimes it seems it's never enough. She wants to be on my boob constantly. I'm always exhausted but then when I lay down at night I can't fall asleep! AAAH! My daughter is amazing and such a sweet loving child. I wish i wouldn't let my patience fail. I know I need to seek help. I'm trying to find a balance in all this madness in my life. Whenever her father gets to me it seems worse. It's probably better that he doesn't live in the same state but I'm so angry at him for leaving us but of course he blames me for that. I feel so defeated and alone. Thanks for posting this and helping me to know that I'm not alone. Much respect, Monique Hello Jane, I know it’s been awhile but I’ve been looking for support about yelling and found your blog. It is nice to know I am not alone. Well I guess it is but it isn’t at the same time. I’ve been yelling at my 14 month old and I feel so ashamed. I’m a single mother going to school and trying to work when I can. I was raised in a really abusive home growing up. My mother always yelled and hit me and we still fight to do this day sometimes. I hardly get a break. The only time I can afford to have sitters is when I’m giving a massage or going to school. So time alone is few and far between. Everytime I promise myself I’m not going to lose it it creeeps back in there. I feel even more terrible when she wants to kiss me after yelling at her. I tell her I’m sorry and I give her lots of hugs and snuggles but sometimes it seems it’s never enough. She wants to be on my boob constantly. I’m always exhausted but then when I lay down at night I can’t fall asleep! AAAH! My daughter is amazing and such a sweet loving child. I wish i wouldn’t let my patience fail. I know I need to seek help. I’m trying to find a balance in all this madness in my life. Whenever her father gets to me it seems worse. It’s probably better that he doesn’t live in the same state but I’m so angry at him for leaving us but of course he blames me for that. I feel so defeated and alone. Thanks for posting this and helping me to know that I’m not alone. Much respect, Monique

]]> By: How to decide whether to have another child | Seagull Fountain http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-2/#comment-37210 How to decide whether to have another child | Seagull Fountain Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:28:57 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-37210 [...] with three small boys and deciding my own loinfruit are not so bad. Part of it is realizing that some of our goals are becoming habitual (some of the time). Part of it is long naps and helpful basil [...] [...] with three small boys and deciding my own loinfruit are not so bad. Part of it is realizing that some of our goals are becoming habitual (some of the time). Part of it is long naps and helpful basil [...]

]]> By: The Good Mother | Seagull Fountain http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-2/#comment-34154 The Good Mother | Seagull Fountain Mon, 08 Jun 2009 23:14:43 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-34154 [...] am a good mother, and I have bad to share: Like the time I whacked Sally on the head with a hairbrush because she wouldn’t hold still [...] [...] am a good mother, and I have bad to share: Like the time I whacked Sally on the head with a hairbrush because she wouldn’t hold still [...]

]]> By: Jane http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-2/#comment-33168 Jane Wed, 27 May 2009 05:14:10 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-33168 You're definitely not alone in this. It seems like a lot of men walk away rather than engage in confrontation. I confess I have not been as successful in my resolution as I hoped. I am going to try harder. Starting now. You’re definitely not alone in this. It seems like a lot of men walk away rather than engage in confrontation.

I confess I have not been as successful in my resolution as I hoped.

I am going to try harder. Starting now.

]]> By: Vera http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-2/#comment-33167 Vera Wed, 27 May 2009 05:12:48 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-33167 I did not yell at people before... but that has changed in the past few years. I now yell at my husband. He doesn't communicate his feeling with me, other family members or even his closest friends. He walks away when we fight. My mom sometimes lost her temper on us, but she always sat us down and talked about it for hours. So I'm not very sensitive to yelling, but a well communicated relationship means a lot to me. And whenever my husband ignores or walks away from our "talk", that hurts me and makes me feel unloved.... and I yell at him more because I have become so frustrated with him... I want and need badly to communicate with him, but he shuts the door on me. Your story makes me understand why he is so withdrawn, and why he always walks away during or after we fight. I did not yell at people before… but that has changed in the past few years. I now yell at my husband. He doesn’t communicate his feeling with me, other family members or even his closest friends. He walks away when we fight.

My mom sometimes lost her temper on us, but she always sat us down and talked about it for hours. So I’m not very sensitive to yelling, but a well communicated relationship means a lot to me. And whenever my husband ignores or walks away from our “talk”, that hurts me and makes me feel unloved…. and I yell at him more because I have become so frustrated with him… I want and need badly to communicate with him, but he shuts the door on me.

Your story makes me understand why he is so withdrawn, and why he always walks away during or after we fight.

]]> By: Jane http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-2/#comment-33166 Jane Wed, 27 May 2009 05:06:43 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-33166 I was thinking about this the other day. When we were trying to decide whether to try for a fourth kid or not -- I found myself thinking, but... I could just wait until my oldest (8) has a kid. But that is a bit long to wait. :) I was thinking about this the other day. When we were trying to decide whether to try for a fourth kid or not — I found myself thinking, but… I could just wait until my oldest (8) has a kid. But that is a bit long to wait. :)

]]> By: Jane http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-2/#comment-33165 Jane Wed, 27 May 2009 05:05:46 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-33165 The best thing about the internet is feeling less alone, esp for us stay-at-home moms. Good for you for getting help! The best thing about the internet is feeling less alone, esp for us stay-at-home moms.

Good for you for getting help!

]]> By: Jane http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-2/#comment-33164 Jane Wed, 27 May 2009 05:05:04 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-33164 I wish I could help, Beth. I think that you recognize the seriousness of the problem and the possible consequences is a big step. My husband once told me he wanted to follow me around with a tape recorder so I could hear myself. I think therapy would benefit any (every) couple at some point. If you need help, please get it. I wish I could help, Beth. I think that you recognize the seriousness of the problem and the possible consequences is a big step. My husband once told me he wanted to follow me around with a tape recorder so I could hear myself. I think therapy would benefit any (every) couple at some point. If you need help, please get it.

]]> By: Vera http://www.seagullfountain.com/2009/02/04/hello-my-name-is-jane-and-i-am-a-rage-aholic/comment-page-1/#comment-32358 Vera Mon, 18 May 2009 21:11:57 +0000 http://www.seagullfountain.com/?p=2664#comment-32358 I did not yell at people before... but that has changed in the past few years. I now yell at my husband. He doesn't communicate his feeling with me, other family members or even his closest friends. He walks away when we fight. My mom sometimes lost her temper on us, but she always sat us down and talked about it for hours. So I'm not very sensitive to yelling, but a well communicated relationship means a lot to me. And whenever my husband ignores or walks away from our "talk", that hurts me and makes me feel unloved.... and I yell at him more because I have become so frustrated with him... I want and need badly to communicate with him, but he shuts the door on me. Your story makes me understand why he is so withdrawn, and why he always walks away during or after we fight. I did not yell at people before… but that has changed in the past few years. I now yell at my husband. He doesn’t communicate his feeling with me, other family members or even his closest friends. He walks away when we fight.

My mom sometimes lost her temper on us, but she always sat us down and talked about it for hours. So I’m not very sensitive to yelling, but a well communicated relationship means a lot to me. And whenever my husband ignores or walks away from our “talk”, that hurts me and makes me feel unloved…. and I yell at him more because I have become so frustrated with him… I want and need badly to communicate with him, but he shuts the door on me.

Your story makes me understand why he is so withdrawn, and why he always walks away during or after we fight.

]]>