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I’m not gonna lie to you

01.28.09 | parenting | 11 Comments

If you can’t sing, I’ll tell you.

If you need to get some exercise, I’ll tell you.

If your talents don’t exactly extend to macrame, I’ll tell you.

If you’re not good at basketball, I’ll tell you.

If your iambic hexameter sucks, I’ll tell you.

Sally, Susan, and Spot, I’m not gonna lie to you. I may think you’re the bee’s knees and the cat’s pajamas and that your poop doesn’t stink (well, I KNOW that it does), but even if I think you’re the best thing since sliced bread and bottled Mountain Dew, I’m not gonna contribute to the sort of self-delusion that would lead you to make an absolute fool of yourself on a show like American Idol.

I’m sorry, and, YOU’RE WELCOME.

totally unrelated, but fun to read

11 Comments

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