Comments on: Resolved: That on January 1st, 2009, I will look like Liv Tyler, housekeep like FlyLady, and motivate like Mary Poppins

By: How to stop yelling and choose happiness | What About Mom

How to stop yelling and choose happiness | What About Mom — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 18:32:33 +0000

[...] When New Years came, I made No Yelling my single resolution. [...]

By: Erica Peters

Erica Peters — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 01:14:23 +0000

I posted this on Penelope Trunk’s page just now, but since that discussion led me here, I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind if I wrote here about the techniques that helped me stop yelling at my kids:
1) Keeping an anger journal, where I write down a short note about what made me angry enough to yell, and what the context was.
2) Reading the book “1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12,” which taught me to keep quiet. I only get to say “One.” (Then I start thinking about what I’m going to do if I get to three). I can talk about other topics, but the next word of complaint I get to say is “Two.” And finally, “Three, go to your room” (Or, “Three, that’s no dessert,” whatever.) It’s a great system, because it teaches me to discipline myself first. And then it allows the kids a little room to learn to discipline themselves. The point is that you can’t discipline anyone else: each person has to take that job for him or herself. I was resistant to the counting approach (feels dorky, especially out in public), but it really helps me keep my cool and not start debating / negotiating with them.

By: Why Comments Matter | What About Mom

Why Comments Matter | What About Mom — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 16:55:06 +0000

[...] stop there. In both, the way to increase job satisfaction is clear. Set concrete goals like no yelling or post (or write) every day. Be purposeful; read and talk with other people about how to do your [...]

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 21:39:17 +0000

Ok,

1. Love the title
2. Here’s a little story about reality (luckily it *does* have a good ending):

I made a goal, a real, I-mean-it, I-WILL-accomplish this goal, goal, not a hmmm-this-would-be-a-good-thing-to-change goal.

The goal was no yelling for 3 (yes, countem, THREE) whole months. I kept track on my calendar, trying to keep up the yelling-free days.

I became so frustrated within a week or two, I nearly abandoned the goal altogether. Even though my 2 year old *knew* that while I was nursing my baby, said 2 yr old could nearly get away with murder w/out the accompanying consequences.

So I changed to a more realistic goal, another I-really-mean-it goal. I could yell once a day. And NOT per child. Once. A day. Once I had yelled, I had to find a different way to handle the situation.

So, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

How do you stop yelling? One day at a time. It truly transformed me and the way I interacted with my little monsters. Within a month the angry feelings (on a scale of 1-10 where 10 is physical violence, I was often reacting at a 6 or 7) that usually left my body via yelling, toned down to at least a 4, and sometimes even a 3!

I’m thinking it’s time I go back and to this goal again…. In an I-really-mean-it way!

By: NoPlaceLikeHome

NoPlaceLikeHome — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 00:03:41 +0000

I couldn’t have said it better myself! Maybe when we feel like yelling we can do some sit-ups or something and accomplish a few things at once. With as much as I feel like I yell and as much weight as I’d like to drop I don’t see how distracting myself from one by taking care of the other can hurt. It certanly can’t hurt to try! Like you said…just working on the problem is a step in the right direction! Don’t forget we can do all things through God who strenghtens us!

By: Kirsty

Kirsty — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 05:55:02 +0000

Sounds like an awesome resolution, Jane. And as others have said, with positive intent, it *is* achievable.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 16:20:10 +0000

So hard not to yell. I have tried this goal in the past and need to revisit it. Thanks for the gentle reminder.

By: Melody

Melody — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 02:43:14 +0000

Having just brought my 7-year-old to tears by yelling (for her refusal to participate in family scripture reading time; yeah, scriptures open on my lap at aforementioned moment of yelling), I’m awash in guilt and SO with you on this one. Although it seems so impossible it’s almost hard to imagine attempting it. But it’s nice to know I’m not the only one in this boat.

By: Marianne

Marianne — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 19:02:58 +0000

I’m with Practical Mommy.

By: Practical Mommy

Practical Mommy — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:33:46 +0000

2 words: positive intent

By: Sharla

Sharla — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:29:27 +0000

I think I will choose this as my resolution as well and then we can check up on each other. I like it much better than what my resolution should be….losing 20 pounds…(times 3). I really don’t seem to yell so much during the week but Sunday mornings are by far my worst. (And I can definitely get louder than the Motab playing to set the mood) And now with church switching to 9 next week I need some extra help and motivation. AAAH! I predict that I will forget that I even made any resolutions and switch back into survival mode like I usually do. Good luck!

By: Jane

Jane — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:12:41 +0000

Please do, and THANKS.

By: kikibibi

kikibibi — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 15:24:17 +0000

Jane – that is an awesome resolution! Ok if I copy you?

Gotta get the last bit of yelling out of my system before 11:59: HAPPY NEW YEAR JANE DICK SALLY SUSAN AND SPOT!!!!

Blessings to you and those under your wings for 2009.

By: Maggie

Maggie — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 14:33:24 +0000

“Just the act of trying, really, really hard, and praying, really hard, will improve the spirit of our home.”

This in itself is a resolution. I like it. Can I try it?