Normally I’d blush before drawing attention to my intimidating array of accomplishments, but this one happens to be the culmination of eight years of near-constant slogging, tearful patience on the part of my dear husband and long-suffering children, and really, the first time since I saw The Sound of Music as a child that I have burst into a refrain of I Have Con-fi-dence in Con-fi-dence A-lone without the express purpose of irritating my kids.
You see. Yesterday? The entire day from sunup to bedtime?
I went an entire day without yelling. At anyone. Not Sally, not Susan, not Spot. Not even Dick.
I know what you’re thinking:
Jane, it was Sunday. Who yells on Sunday?
or
Jane, it’s the holidays. A time of cheer and peace and adoration of the sweet baby Jesus. Who yells during Christmas?
or
Jane, your kids were all sick, vomiting and lethargic on the couch. Who yells at sick kids? Even Andrea Yates took the day off on the Sunday after Christmas.
But what you don’t realize (or what you might realize if you have children of your own and you are the kind of person who has two arms, two legs, and a healthy fear of the IRS — Not that people without arms and legs wouldn’t realize this too) is that Sunday is usually the worst offender when it comes to the aggravated provocation of mother-yelling. And that the Christmas holidays, when children have multiple days off of school and there are (heaven forbid) parties and shopping and general merriment are an even worse agent provocateur of the dreaded mean voice. And that Andrea Yates probably went crazy precisely because she worked so hard to never yell at her kids. It just ain’t natural, friends.
But I did it.
And NOTHING can ever take that away from me. No matter what the future holds, I’ll always have December twenty-eighth, in the year of our Lord 2008, as a great, shining monument to the power of clean living, a positive outlook, and medicinal quantities of jet-puffed marshmallow creme.
Who knows what I might accomplish next?
Peace in the Middle East?
Stabilization of the world financial markets?
Kicking of the Mountain Dew dependence once and for all?
Now wait.
Let’s not get carried away here.
Jane
Tags: motherhood, parenting
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Emily H. (3)
Girl, I am impressed. It is so terribly hard to get through an entire day without yelling. Really. I’ll let you know when I get there.
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That is a special day. It also happens to be our anniversary. Congratulations. Ride this wave to the next accomplishment.
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Aww man, wish it were me. If you’ve read one specific paragraph of my latest post you will see right there in print the proof that on the exact day you mention I spent the morning rushing and yelling. Luckily my day got lots better. You’re way ahead of me girl!
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You crack me up!! Seriously, our Sunday’s can get downright ugly. Good for you. You are my hero — I will try to be like you!
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I guess if you can go a whole day with out yelling, I can admit, I too…ohh this is painful, yell. ahh, I dream of the day Peace and Harmony will fill my home. You always inspire me.
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Wow, a whole day?! I strive for 30 minutes most days. Some days 5 minutes without yelling is good.
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Dude, you are sick, you are trying to get little people to church, it’s a miracle. It is an actual Christmas miracle. Congratulations, wallow in the moment. Oh, and I tagged you on my blog – a neat little new years idea – check it.
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Hee hee hee! You ARE funny, Jane.
Hey, maybe there will even be another day like the 28th of December! Maybe you’ll have a whole page in your Book of Life! You should make the 28th an annual holiday in celebration. And on that day you get to be alone.
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Good job Jane!! The Andrea Yates comment had me cracking up, you are hilarious!
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Bwaaaahaaahaaaa! Fabulous! Yes, Sunday morning pressure begets behavior that is NOT Christ-like.
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