Dick and I couldn’t get a babysitter tonight to go to the movie we wanted to see. Apparently the teenage girls in Seagull Fountain go to dances and also book up their Friday nights before school is out for the week. (The nerve.)
But we needed a break from the emotionally draining business of intense (yet civil) Instant Message fighting discussion.
So what did we do? Took the kids to the dollar theater where we all enjoyed the magnum of giddy nonsense that is . . .
Mamma Mia! (spoiler alert!)
I thought Dick would be mad that I tricked him into taking four females to a musical about . . . hmmm . . . about . . . a wedding, sex with multiple partners, consequences, regrets, boy toys, homosexuality, single parenthood, responsibility, love that survives in the unlikeliest of circumstances, and following one’s dreams.
Maybe it wasn’t such a fluffy movie after all.
Maybe it was . . . hmmm. I’m not really sure whether to be appalled or applauding. It sure was gorgeous — all set in Greece with the white-stuccoed rocks and that blue! sky. Meryl Streep, who I’m realizing is quite amazing.
And it turns out that Dick has quite evolved, affectionate feelings for the music of ABBA, enough so that I’ll be uploading my ABBA Gold CD to our iTunes library tomorrow (if I can find it).
But one thing did bother me:
Why is Sophie (the daughter) choosing between:
1) marriage/settling down/babies
and
2) seeing the world/following her dream/freedom?
when the movie rests on the premise that what Donna (the mother) chose was:
3) seeing the world/following her dream/accidental baby/settling down.
Why is everyone so happy and relieved that Sophie chooses the freedom of travelling the world with a man who remains her boyfriend rather than her husband? Because as long as they’re not married she won’t get pregnant? Do Hollywood types forget how babies are made between the opening scenes and the fadeout? Are Hollywood types really that dumb? (Really?)
And why is marriage the bad guy here?
Marriage doesn’t tie you to a place or a dream or a baby.
Marriage ties you to a person. And if you tie yourself to the right person (even if he is a big fat jerk sometimes), marriage can take you to Japan and Harlem and The Bronx and Iceland and England and Cairo and Florida and Utah.
Marriage ties you to the dreams you build with your favorite person on earth. And even when he is your LEAST FAVORITE person on earth, you remember that the dreams that you have built together are worth working and fighting and sacrificing for.
Marriage can’t even produce a baby (sex does that, my poor, dumb Hollywood types). And it is love that ties you to a baby, whether you’re married or not. And once that baby is here, all the places and dreams and freedoms suddenly seem a little less important.
Until the day that baby starts talking and discovers what a great reaction she can get from saying “I hate you” all day long for seven weeks straight.
Then freedom starts to look more enticing again. And then, hopefully, that person you tied yourself to ten years ago? He offers to watch the kids all weekend so you can get away for a break from your job of 24/7 mothering.
And suddenly you realize that you don’t really want to go anywhere.
You just wanted to know that you could.
Tags: motherhood, parenting
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You know, I think those are messages that so many young people are getting from the world today. I struggle personally, because the world wants to turn it into “simple” binaries that aren’t so simple after all. It’s either freedom and success or boredom and being trapped in a house. I know what the Lord wants, but aligning my will with His is very hard at times. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me in line is to tell myself that it’s a commandment. I’m doing better, though. Some days, it’s a desire. I just pray that I will some day start dating someone and I’ll know that with this person, I could do it.
That’s exactly how I felt about them not getting married, but I didn’t know to express it like you did.
Well said, Jane!
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Great observations–so many people watch movies/tv shows with poor messages and never even think through the implications being taught. They just like the feel-good atmosphere they are left with after having been entertained. “…and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to (you know where).”
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Exactly how I felt after watching the Movie and exactly why no matter how much begging, I did not take my 9 year old who is madly in love with ABBA. Sad that marriage is the reason used for people not following their dreams and living life. Too bad they can’t see how great their dreams would be if they had their best friend to take along with them..
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I’m holding my sides because I talked about ABBA in today’s post, too.
Must be something in the bloggy Kool Aid….
I always figure movies like that become a good teaching tool. It helps your kids develop a worldview that fits wth their faith, if you can point out those things to them, and make sure they know that every thing we hear or see has a messge. . . (stepping off soap box)
Hope your weekend is great.
and gueeeez I just enjoyed the movie and music… BUT I must say you have a great point… it is a poor example for young children… That’s why we are here I guess to explain (as my mother did and I did) it’s only a movie… real life isn’t and shouldn’t be like that… (((HUGS))) Donna
One of the reasons I enjoy reading your blog is the different and new opinions and ideas you expose me to. Thanks Jane!
I think the best positive exposure kids can have to marriage is the marriages around them. For kids who experience their parents divorcing and perhaps come out of that with marriage not high on their list of “to do”s in life, the best thing to put marriage in a good light is seeing good marriages in their family and of friend’s parents. And then finding a guy or girl to make it all worthwhile. That’s more real than Greek islands for me!
(Haven’t seen the movie yet)
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