Today was a good getting-ready-for-church day. I had the kids’ clothes set out early. I showered before breakfast. I knew where my bra, thigh-highs, and shoes were. I even cleaned the Arctic Circle wrappers out of the van from the night before, and packed a bag with fruit snacks, pretzels, water, books, etc.
But Spot refused to put on her skirt. Instead, she insisted on wearing Susan’s shirt and her own blue jewelled flipflops. I tried to shame her into putting on her skirt by telling her I could see her diaper, but she was unashamed.
Which is why, at 12:53 pm, as we pulled into the church parking lot, I surreptitiously took one last (long) swig of my pre-church Mountain Dew.
A man pulled in next to us and got his three sons out of the car. Dick and I speculated later that his wife was terminally ill, or home with a fretful baby. Perhaps he works a hard job on third shift, then comes home in the early dawn to a messy home and three active boys.
Which is why he took one last (long) swig of his Red Bull, directed his son to bring it along, and warned: “Don’t drink all of it!”
Tags: caffeine, coping mechanism, mountain dew, parenting, red bull, vices
Subscribe by email
Emily H. (2)
Marcy (2)
Beth (1)
Big Mamma Frog (1)
Brandi (1)
I don’t think I’d make it as a LDS; we were at my parents for dinner Sat night with the kids and they gave us what we are certain was decaf coffee w/dessert.
To say we felt sleepily cheated was an understatement.
I love me some java!
[Reply]
Heh, heh. That’s funny. But you gotta wonder which is worse? Like falling asleep in church is a good thing? I think a little Dew or Red Bull might make a person a tad more focused. But here’s where I feel cheated, I have like NO CUPHOLDER in my car. It’s an old Saab, and what? Do they not have drinks in Sweden? I will definitely fall asleep in church if we take my car.
MereCats last blog post..The Tired and Griping Post
[Reply]
I’m pretty sure the only thing in my cupholder is a melty ice cream cone from about eight weeks ago. In my last mini-van there were melted crayons. Those were sure fun to clean out.
compulsive writers last blog post..Time–and good reason–for a party
[Reply]
(We must be dehydrated or something.)
compulsive writers last blog post..Time–and good reason–for a party
[Reply]
You’re one step ahead of us because I couldn’t even GET my family to church yesterday. What’s even worst is that my husband’s excuse was that he had to go decorate his office for Halloween. Aaaah, nothing like skipping church in favor of a pagan ritual.
[Reply]
MereCat — I just thought it was crazy that he’d let his kid drink some. Not that I don’t let Spot have some of my fountain drink when we’re out and about and she screams. Because I’m assertive and consistent like that.
BUT. A kid hopped on Red Bull is not exactly what you want when faced with 70 minutes of church in the early afternoon.
[Reply]
Okay, Jane. Really. Are you celebrating being ready for church that starts at ONE O’CLOCK? Our church time is 10. We’re ready usually on time and I don’t get the kids stuff ready ahead of time. It’s nicer when I do but it’s not stressful when I don’t. Um, as long as the laundry is relatively caught up on….
Natashas last blog post..The messes that test my sanity.
[Reply]
HAHAHAHAHA! i actually laughed aloud reading that. that doesn’t happen to often.
for me? i’d hide coke in my kid’s sippy cup, sneak into the bathroom and drink it if i had to.
cornnut32s last blog post..the rock
[Reply]
I think chocolate milk is about the strongest thing I drink–love that sugar high
Paulas last blog post..Backbiting!
[Reply]
Natasha — if you really don’t think it’s worth getting mildly excited (jumping up and down hysterical, basically) about being all ready for church ON TIME (no matter what time it’s at — remember entropy), then I just don’t know if we can be friends. My standards for success may be too low for you.
[Reply]
Dude, your new ward rocks! And you wear thigh highs? Seriously?
Mountain Dew all the way for me, thanks to my old friend, Shannon. I used to live by her and justified my way into caffeine addiction because of her. You must have known her too. We frequently have an empty can floating around in the car after church.
[Reply]
Hmm .. in the front cupholder now … gross stuff that hasn’t even been cleaned the last two times (OK, the only two times) my car has been cleaned by professionals. Spilled gross coffee crud.
What’s in it on the way to church (9:30am, ’cause the 7am is WAAAAY to early for me to be seen in public, unless I can be in my PJs) – normally DH’s coffee cup, the thermos kind. In the back with Miss M – her sippy cup with water in it, if we remembered it. On the days we don’t remember, we have to sneak up to the hall and get a glass from the kitchen before she dehydrates in our sub-tropical heat.
Kirstys last blog post..Birthday Girl
[Reply]
that’s awesome.
and toy cars, hair bands, and make up are in my cup holders, never room for a drink.
Tiffanys last blog post..Picking Pumpkins
[Reply]
I’ve got this diet Pepsi thing going lately. I’m at the gas station way too much getting it with crushed ice. I put about a cup of lemon juice in it and nurse it all evening. It’s got to stop! I’ve also got a once a week light mocha frap from Starbucks addiction. It’s not coffee if it’s cold and has chocolate in it right?
Sheas last blog post..Things I’m glad I bought
[Reply]
Thanks for the laugh… I can picture it perfectly!
Kathys last blog post..Yesterday a mermaid… today a cowboy!
[Reply]