Usually I like to think that I’m exaggerating when I talk about a fault of mine. No one could be THAT bad a mom or a wife or a school chauffeur-er, but lately I’ve realized that I really am THAT bad, and I can no longer point out that things COULD BE WORSE by pretending that I feel bad that I’m much worse than I really know I am not.
Last week, when school had been in session for approximately ten seconds, the Parents or Guardian of Sally got a very formal letter from the school expressing concern over her numerous tardies and absences. Two weeks of school and she’s already missed too much = A new personal best at Chez Dick and Jane!!
But really, even though Sally is well above-average, a little part of me still worries that if she doesn’t get in the habit of going to school now, she might want to stay home and talk to me when she is thirteen, and then she’ll never have the character-building experience of being asked to return her half of a BE FRI – ST ENDS necklace.
Which is why I thought it would be good for my girls to play with their Princess-Barbie-loving cousins yesterday. That and the fact that Dick had a late meeting and my sister has a backyard, and a fence, and a lock on the sliding glass door to the backyard.
Since Marcy is just getting used to her new apres-marriage house, we slept over. There’s nothing like extra junk and people sleeping in your basement to make a house feel like home. After we got the kids down, I helped Marcy christen the new house with a ritual viewing of the Keira Knightley/Matthew MacFadyen Pride and Prejudice. It was late; mostly we just fast-forwarded to our favorite Lady Catherine lines like “If I had ever learned, I should have a been a great proficient.”
This morning Sally was thirty minutes late to school, which I didn’t think was too bad, considering we had to drive 49 minutes from the wild bachelorette house to get there. And I even made her a sandwich for lunch, though I had to use ranch dressing with the turkey, because Marcy had no idea where her mayonnaise was.
So basically I was feeling pretty swell today, confident in my good mothering skills. I read a bunch of books to Susan and Spot before naptime, including Fanny’s Dream, which proves that even the most excellent of books become slightly less compelling after being forced to nod and smile encouragingly about the “a hat” and the “a dog” on every single page.
A few minutes after Spot fell asleep, I got a call from my mom. Sally’s school had called her, because I forgot to pick up Sally, and I didn’t answer my phone when they tried to call me. The phone that I WAS answering, obviously, otherwise how would I be talking to my mom about the fact that I was thirty minutes late for early-release Friday?
Dick pretended he wasn’t disappointed that I had once again forsaken my oldest daughter for the fleeting pleasures of the internet. He even tried to cheer me up by saying he figured the 30 minutes late for drop-off and 30 minutes late for pick-up should cancel each other out. Good point. Oh, public school. How fickle you are! You’re upset when she’s not there and then upset when she is. Make up your mind, already.
You know what they say: raising children is all about being consistent.
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Tags: bad mommy, childhood, motherhood, parenting, public school, school
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First to comment! Haven’t even read it yet! I’m sure it’s good! More importantly, I’m first to comment!
Natashas last blog post..My recovery from childhood sexual assault.
Okay, here’s my pep talk:
It’s not just you. Even the moms who are really together forget to pick up their kids. I thought it was just me but I’ve asked around and it’s very common. Even when I have the best of intentions and I’m NOT frittering away my life on the Internet, I would forget to pick up my daughter for her piano lesson. I’ve done it so, so many times. I get wrapped up in WHATEVER I’m doing– things I should be doing as well as the things I shouldn’t be doing.
So, this year I changed the time for the piano lesson. It’s Wed. morning at 9am, right before I drop off Lulu at preschool. I never forget preschool because that’s my ME time and because it’s first thing in the morning. Yes, Josie ends up missing the beginning of school but I don’t care because this works best for ME and the piano teacher and it’s not like I’m taking her out for MODELING class or something. Piano IS education. Anyway, guess what? I forgot! We all did. We forgot her last lesson even though it was first thing in the morning. Geez, did I feel crappy.
If you’re at all like me, you’re struggling because there’s so much you want to do with your life. You have drive and interest and a mind alive with thoughts and ideas. And it’s not so much the parenting you mind, it’s the cleaning, the waitressing, the whining and crying. We don’t mind the teaching, the exploring, the cuddling. It’s the emotional draining part we don’t like.
Here’s the good part: They won’t remember this part so much by the time things get easier. Just focus on being a little bit better in one thing. That’s it. Make some big memories and THAT’S what they’ll remember.
It’s so easy to be envious of our husbands with their interesting jobs and Dick’s 6 blog posts a day. His mind is all creative and fired up and he gets to do something about it. You? You get to make meals kids will complain about and clean up after them and wipe bums and tidy the same things over and over and over. It’s SO mindless and hard.
Natashas last blog post..My recovery from childhood sexual assault.
Well…I havent recieved one about tardies yet…but if i get one more discipline note on my 5 year old i am going to lose my mind.
Part of it that really bothers me though is I really get the impression his teacher doesnt like him or me and therefore doesnt listen to ANYTHING he says.
He said Friday he was telling her that it was an accident but she just said it wasnt and he got two swats…I am trying to figure out the best way to handle things with them, because what he describes is totally an accident…stupid and goofy and all boy…but still an accident…
ugggh
steff
Steffj89s last blog post..With Help like That
This mommmying is such a juggling act. I’ve not missed a pick up, but I’ve come close. Luckily, I live in a small town which = quick drive with light traffic. Those two facts have saved me more times than I can count.
Sally is obviously super-smart; missing a bit of school isn’t going to hurt her. And, while I haven’t missed a school pick up completely, I have been late by 5 min or so to get Princess Pinky (usually because one or both of her younger brothers wasn’t cooperating with the whole punctuality plan).
She survived, and when she got minorly huffy about it, I firmly explained to her that she was 1) just fine hanging out on the school steps with the ten or twelve other kids whose moms were running a bit late; 2) not the center of the universe; and 3) that her mom was doing her best to keep the family train on the tracks.
Take care, chin up, and keep doing your best.
I’m just starting out on this chauffeuring thing, but I can only imagine that as it goes, I will be doing the same thing, only I don’t think my husband will be so forgiving. He loves it too much when I make mistakes as it is. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s not how did you forget to pick her up that time, it’s how did you remember the other 5 million times?
MereCats last blog post..We’re back!
I haven’t had that problem yet but only because my kids aren’t old enough for school. Just think about the memories your kids will have when they think about how you let them skip school sometimes. You are a great mom and I don’t think your kids will suffer from missing school sometimes or from being left at the school for a few minutes.
Natasha — Thanks for the enthusiasm, as if it is SUCH an honor
. And thanks for telling me you forgot piano lessons. Except, WAIT, now I feel all bad, ’cause we don’t even HAVE piano lessons. Just kidding. Of course you’re right about the difference between parenting and everything else that is just mindless. Funny on the Dick thing, too, since he’ll go for a week or more without any posts, he’s just irregular that way (!).
You’re also right on about picking one thing to worry about/work on at a time. Feeling a bit overwhelmed right now as we get ready to move (hopefully) (cross your fingers).
So, and I wanted to tell Marianne I loved her post recently about the Office — and how it is such a great reminder that “careers” and office life are often just a pointless and stultifying as the waitressing, etc, etc.
Steffj89 — SWATS? What? Are you talking corporal punishment in your schools? Not that I’m against spanking my own kids for serious infractions (like taking their seatbelt off in the car), but I certainly don’t want some teacher spanking my kid!
Maybe you should consider sitting in on the class for a day to see how the teacher interacts with your son (of course, she’d probably be on her best behavior with you there, but still. And you could ask your son if that day was markedly different from regular days.)
Sorry to hear about that. I hope things get better!
MereCat — “it’s how did you remember the other 5 million times?” YES! TOTALLY!
I confess I love it when Dick messes up, only because I’m pretty sure I mess up more, and I just want things to be even, you know?
Adrianne — I hope so.
Great post.
Loved the necklace bit.
My worst time of forgetting was when I fell asleep on the sofa (watching daytime tv – maybe Dr Phil!) and a friend rang on her mobile to stay she was waiting at the school gates with my 2 older kids, and should she bring them home! It was 10 minutes after I should have been there. My only excuse was our youngest was only a few months old, and there was little sleep to be had.