Comments on: Do you hate being a mother so much?

By: How I came to terms with motherhood | Seagull Fountain

How I came to terms with motherhood | Seagull Fountain — Fri, 21 May 2010 15:14:24 +0000

[...] in my not-finer moments, what I really meant was stay-at-home motherhood. I wrote stuff like Do you hate being a mother so much? and confessed my irrational rage at little girls digging into the brownies I was saving. [...]

By: hana

hana — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 02:39:00 +0000

Yes I realize how dull parents are to non parents. As a parent, I myself get bored of parents. Its enough that i’m singing and dancing like an ejit in kiddi groups, but to have to converse about night wakings and trouble with solids does my head in. Perhaps its a reliable subject to have in common? Please let there be more to life next parent i meet!

By: Betrayal | Seagull Fountain

Betrayal | Seagull Fountain — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 11:50:08 +0000

[...] of course there have been times when I resent my children, when I resent motherhood, when I think what could have been if I’d pursued my other dreams instead. And if I thought [...]

By: Nonmother

Nonmother — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 01:13:34 +0000

To Liz
I do not have a god.
If someone didnot realise what level of sacrifice then they must be stupid.
I totally agree with Heidi Fleiss.
It’s often childfree who have to privide cover at work.
Have you any idea how dull parents are to non parents.
You make your bed.

By: Liz

Liz — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:43:45 +0000

MerlynHerne, Tartantulal Owner, and Nonmother,

My god, you are cruel. These people are pouring out their hearts because they made the choice that your parents made- to have kids. Parenting is hard as hell as I have 2 of my own. We wanted to bring someone into the world to love and take care of but weren’t prepared for the level of challenge and sacrifice. These moms are suffering and your comments are like throwing salt into the wound. Shame on you for having zero compassion and not keeping your mouths shut or expressing your views in a more “Goddessly” manner. I agree with some of what you imply- remaining child-free is probably a good choice for a lot of people. It’s expensive, time-consuming, and stressful and many people ARE NOT in a position to bring kids into this world as they don’t have the resources. (I have the resources and my experience raising kids has been mostly positive.) Maybe as a society we are slowing learning this via sharing these feelings/experiences on the internet. Maybe this is part of our evolution. Yet for you to run your mouths off so callously…..

MerlynHerne- you may be using the brains the Goddess gave you but you certainly aren’t using the heart she gave you. Your comments just suck. I suspect you’re really more of a troll than a Goddess.

By: MerlynHerne

MerlynHerne — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 23:55:58 +0000

All your misery is completely self-inflicted. You should be happy your husband works so hard so that you can stay home all day. If I had to hear this whining from you, I would arrange to be home only to sleep.

I am so glad to be childfree. My hersband comes home to me and we enjoy a nice meal and a relaxing evening. How can we do this, you may ask? Simple. We used the brains the Goddess gave us and didn’t breed. Bed. Made. Lie.

By: A tarantula owner

A tarantula owner — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 23:42:49 +0000

You made the choice to have children. Why are you complaining? People who make their choices and them complain about them are weak and pathetic beyond belief.

And vengefully wishing children on people who upset you like some sort of illness? Such a comment speaks volumes. Not as great as you were lead to believe, are they?

By: Annon

Annon — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 19:00:42 +0000

WAAAAHHHH…how about some cheese with all that WWHHIIINNNING!
Exactly what Nonmother said;
DID YOU EVER EVEN CONSIDER THE IDEA THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE CHILDREN?
Probably not. That’s why the childfree get such a DELIGHT out of listening to your
whinningggg about “MY LIFE IF SOOOO HARD”.
HERE’S THE TRUTH.
You are not special and neither is your spawn.
You have the option to have kids or not. Somewhere along the line you made the choice. So GROW UP,, stop whining about your choice and get a life.
We wouldn’t want your life for all the cheese and wine in the world.
But…since we childfree come home to a quiet, clean home. We can open that wine, get out the cheese, turn on HBO and enjoy our life.
Bed.May.Lie!

By: Nonmother

Nonmother — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:34:45 +0000

You made your bed. No one forced you to have kids.
This had made me laugh.
A Group of us spent Christmas in a nice hotel doing what want when we want.
Why have kids then complain?
I am so gloating!!

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:21:12 +0000

And if I have to hear my husband complain about having to buy more diapers and wipes i might just SNAP on him and throw a dirty diaper at him………………… He makes my job here almost impossible, he wants me to cook dinner before he gets home but he hates the amount of money I spend on food, I wants to give the kids a good christmas but he hates that his money has to be spent on presents when he has bills he has to pay….. On one hand he feels like he does all the work and I do nothing, I know how much work he does and how hard he works at work I just WISH TO GOD he would give me the same respect I give him ……….

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:16:25 +0000

OMG I feel so much better after reading all of your comments, im so happy I came by this page……. I feel like all i ever do is cook clean change diaper repeat , over and over and yett at the end of the day the house is trashed again, the laundry is piled up and Im at my wits end…… then to make it worse hubby walks through the door just to say ” The house is a wreck or Have you done ANYTHING today “…….. Im tempted to just leave for a week so I can breathe and let him see what it feels like to be home all day, on top of this I have no car so the four walls I see are slowly closing in on me……. One thing that makes it all better is when my two year old just wants to sit in my lap and cuddle…… My son is at the age where anything is climbable and everything is a toy so every time he gets a bump or bruise I am constantly having to explain myself when people as ” What Happened ” , sometimes I just wanna turn around and say ” HE IS A BOY AND HE IS 2 thats what freakin HAPPENED ” or when my sister in law makes the comment that my sons nails are too long or that he isnt speaking yett I wanna say ” HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO TRIM A TWO YEAR OLDS NAILS BEFORE AND MY KIDS SPEECH IS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS” …….. Nothing is ever easy, I constantly find myself Idolizing older kids that are 4 and 5 and saying to myself I CANT WAIT TIL HE IS THAT AGE……. lol, I use to want to be a stay at home mom but now I dream of going back to school and having a career, I guess you have to experience it in order to understand it ……

By: lglpn09

lglpn09 — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 03:39:51 +0000

I’m exactly how you feel. I’m so glad I’m not the only one feeling this way. My life sucks! The question is what can we do about it? I can’t continue to go like this. This is not living. I hate my boyfriend. I know it takes 2 to make a baby but why am I the only one suffering?

By: MONA TUCKER

MONA TUCKER — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 06:35:46 +0000

I have been feeling this way for the past 3 weeks. I hate being a stay at home mom..I really dont even like the ideal of being a mother period… I have a 15 year old daughter who i was fine with..then 3 years after having my tubes tied…the doctor tells me that Im pregneant…WOW!!! what a life changing moment!!! that 19 months later STILL has me in shock… I made the entire tubal ligation decision because, Ive proven to myself not to be the best parent ..and I was so looking forward to going back to college and graduating so or with my daughter at age 42 and living out the Greatest years ever..Then my son arrived 2 months early..and I have been his 24 hour caregiver ever since..over a year ago..IT GET HARDER EVERYDAY..HE WHINES..HE CRYS…HE IS TEETHING…HE FIGHTS SLEEP EVERY F-ING NIGHT FROM 11PM TILL 5AM.. MY HUSBAND IS A POLICE MAN AND WORKS ALL THE TIME, SO I FEEL LIKE A SINGLE MOM… I DONT THINK MENTALLY I CAN DO THIS FOR 17 MORE YEARS..NOT EVER 3 YEARS… IM SO DEPRESSED THAT IT SCARES ME…

By: nanny Kitty

nanny Kitty — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:51:43 +0000

The most parents I know think that they could not survive without a nanny or babysitter, but I think parents should have a distinct schedule, it helps to organize all family activities! The best thing is to remember that kids need our love and care!

By: Soo Tired

Soo Tired — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:27:39 +0000

STupid in nc, I feel the same way sometimes. Here my kids are screaming, fighting and keeping me up all night, and there is my husband sleeping through everything, enjoying his rest. Playing football with his friends, hunting, having guys night out etc. And me, an outcast from having any friends because I’m so busy with my kids that I have lost who I am. My life is over and no one sees this but me. I want to just walk out that door and see how everyone would like it if I wasn’t there any more to be their maid, their slave! See how much FUN my husband would have then and how easy he thinks it is to take care of 4 kids all by him self. See how he likes the fighting and the doctors visits and the school work and never having time to just sit down and read one chapter of a book. Never have the time to remember why I was here and what I liked to do before all of this madness! But when I think of walking out that door, I realize that I’m not hurting my husband as much as I’m destroying my kids. Who would take care of them like I did. Would someone love them and help them through all the hard times with love and understanding like I would. Would they feel abandoned and go down the road of hate and destruction because I wasn’t there to let them know that no matter what, their mother would always be there to love them and believe in them even when no one else did. After all, I did have some part in creating them, shouldn’t I make sure they start their lives out in a positive direction no matter how bumpy the road may become. One steady hand to lead them in the right direction and protect them like no one else would. to be their Mother…Then I shut the door, and walk toward my sleeping kids…How peaceful they are in sleep. How much I love them even though they drive me crazy! It’s not their fault their father doesn’t help raise them the way I thought a father should. He wanted boys, he got all girls. They need me, and then I feel that I need them more…I hope you can see past all the hate and negativity and focus on the most important thing. Your kids, and how much they love their mother in their own way. How much they secretively need you, but would never tell you out right. How much of a positive difference you can make in their lives. Life is so dame hard growing up! I’m glad I had a mother that was always there to give me a positive view to compare with the negative view I always seemed to create. I wouldn’t be here now if I didn’t.

By: STUPID IN nc

STUPID IN nc — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 23:32:50 +0000

I am so over being a mom. I actually hate my husband because he is so free. His time is his time. If he is not working, he can go out with friends, get his hair cut, go to the movies, ball games, etc. I am stuck with these fucking kids. I had to take so many days off of work last year that I wasn’t asked back to my job. Technically they didn’t fire me but…you get the idea. My family is 4 hours away and my husband family is a bunch of idiots. Violent ignored idiots. His brother shot someone last week, his cousin murdered someone, etc. So you can see why I wouldn’t allow my kids to be in my husband’s hometown. But get what…I am leaving this weekend! & I am not coming back. Not coming back to my abusive husband and he can keep the kids. I am done.

By: Paula

Paula — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:12:12 +0000

love this comment, talk about feeling like the rest of the world is NUTS!!!

By: The Good Mother | Seagull Fountain

The Good Mother | Seagull Fountain — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 23:01:38 +0000

[...] I know this comes as a surprise to many of you, because I have angsted over being a bad mother and hated being a mother and wished I could do anything else please by everything holy make the whining stop for five [...]

By: Jane

Jane — Wed, 13 May 2009 03:25:27 +0000

Yes — one of my favorite things a friend said was “As long as you don’t do crack cocaine when you’re pregnant, you’re a good mother.”

And you’re so right — the more I’m a mom, the less sure I am about most parenting theories!

Hope your day got better!

By: nic

nic — Wed, 13 May 2009 01:20:06 +0000

I can relate to ALL of it and since I don’t have time to write a proper witty comment (with one crying, one hungry, and the other stuck on homework) I will go slightly off subject and say that I ABSOLUTELY HATE when people ESPECIALLY single friends without kids sit around and talk about how they WOULD handle any given day with 3 kids or worst of all how YOU SHOULD. I just hold my tongue because my revenge will come the day that they have a kid or two. I’m going to laugh my ass off.

The only thing that I think is below that is other MOMS who sit around and act like they have it all together without hired help and life is perfect “so what is wrong with you”. UGH. Then they go and drown the kids and everyone wonders what happened……

Anyway, that’s all I needed to vent from a situation today. It’s good to see that none of us are really alone & now the next step is for us to create a place that we can all get together with the little buggers and relax while we pay a small fee to have all of those non mom know-it-alls babysit for a few hours….hahahaha….I’m working on it! It’s my million dollar baby (the one that could pay it’s own way through college lol).

Keep your head up Moms ~ Each and every one of you is doing a great job I know because your kids are still ALIVE!!