{Back to HELP WANTED.}
A few weeks ago my aunt and uncle unsubscribed from my blog’s email updates. Which is like saying “I think you suck, and your writing does too.” Ouch. But it was fine, because I’m a grown-up. Though I may have yelled at Susan to JUST EAT YOUR DING-DANG MACARONI when she asked why I was hunched over my computer instead of coming to the table.
Self-worth comes from God, after all, not readers or comments.
But I did want to find out why they’d unsubscribed, so I’d know whether to ignore them at family reunions or to start dropping subtle hints about blogging being thicker than water.
That irresistible need to know warred with the ignorance imperative — the only thing worse than unsubscription would be for them to know that I knew about it. Or for them to feel bad that I felt like sticking my head in the oven when I found out. Still, I had to know why.
We don’t keep secrets very well in our family, so I’m not sure why I entrusted this delicate mission to my mom, beyond the fact that she could bring it up casually to my aunt. Just find out why, I said, but don’t let them know that I know. Of course it’s not a big deal, AT ALL, it’s just that I’ve been thinking about it anyway. Trying to figure out how much Spot Can Talk! and how much Equal Parenting: Neither Equal Nor Parenting and how much Molten Lava Cakes my blog should be.
People tell you to find a niche, a voice, a hook, a style, and to stick with it. This is harder than it sounds (at least it is for me — not the voice part, but the niche part). And whatever you write, the more some people like it, the more others won’t. In fact, if no one hates a post, you can probably guarantee that no one loves it either.
The great thing about blogging is that you can write whatever you want. Which is the terrible thing about blogging: you can write whatever you want. If I write a post called Awkward, Like Steve Carrell, Only Not As Funny, Carolina will say “Great post -– it’s like all my life issues intersected in your post!” and Aaron will complain that it’s “all over the place.”
Good writing is like porn. Hard to define, maybe, but you know it when you see it. And it’s like sex. You might be technically competent, or have all the working parts, but if there’s no chemistry, no catalyst to jumpstart a connection between you and your audience, you’re gonna stall.
When I asked my mom to reconnoiter the relatives for me, I was hoping she could get a feel for which sort of writing/blog would appeal to them. Not that I would ever cater to such disloyalty, but in the name of market research, I explained my Unified Theory of the Personal Blog. Which is basically that many good (mommy) blogs fall into one of four categories: Mundane Olympics, Nostalgic/Exotic, Unexpected/Humor, and Sweet Family. Which kind appeals to you?
Mundane Olympics
The original Mundane Olympics blog is Dooce. At the risk of turning into a Dooce-fan site, I am IN. AWE. Yes, I wish she wouldn’t dog on my church and use shocking! language. BUT. Anyone who can complain about a four-year old’s propensity to ask Why? without making me want to reach for a sharp implement for my own frontal lobe should just be enshrined already.
Nostalgic/Exotic
Here we have stories from places appealingly different from our own, like The Pioneer Woman‘s. Her photographs are beautiful, her recipes are mouth-watering, and her middle-child angst is endearing. But would she be taking over the world if she didn’t live on a real-life ranch in the middle of virile cowboys and wild mustangs? I wonder.
Unexpected/Humor
Two of my favorites are Bye Bye Pie and Memarie Lane, who recently warned that, as she gestates, her thoughts are turning mommy-ward. Most of her posts are wonderfully self-contained topical features and they’re often hysterical (and not in a uterus sort of way). June of Bye Bye Pie is not a mommy, except to her cats and dog, and I could read about her trips to the post office and never get bored. June usually makes the Mundane Olympics team too.
Sweet Family
Probably too many personal (mommy) blogs fall into this innocuous-sounding category. Still, blogs like Boo Mama and Big Mama are anything but blah. Instead, reading them is like curling up on the window seat with an L.M. Montgomery book and remembering that life is pretty darn good.
This was all more than Mom cared to know about the blogosphere. She nodded. Well, since we were on the phone, she made appropriate “uh-huh” noises whenever I paused for breath. So, basically, Mom, I said, find out if they’d rather I just wrote about family happenings and posted pretty pictures, or if they’re interested in book reviews and recipes and women’s issues. Please?
Mom, who had listened patiently to all my “it doesn’t matter” and “please interrogate them,” then told me that my aunt and uncle just changed email addresses. She read me their new one so I could check the feedburner email subscription list. And there, right near the top, was my aunt and uncle’s new email address.
Not that I cared, or anything.
Tags: bigmama, blogging, boomama, byebyepie, dooce, Family, memarielane, mommy blogs, pioneer woman, relatives, subscribers, writing
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Even though he is the only person that reads my blog and he even occasionally makes a comment, you really shouldn’t quote Aaron on your blog or consider his comments in finding your ‘self-worth’ – he told me he only reads your blog for the sex anyways . . .
Erics last blog post..Help! We’re Moving! Fri night at 6 and MORE at 8AM Saturday!
I think your blog kind of falls into each of those categories, and that’s what makes it interesting for me. I get bored when a blog is ALL one thing. I actually started reading your blog b/c it was on June’s blog list at Bye Bye Pie. Both of you have such a great sense of humor.
I think your blog topics that are the most entertaining to read are the mundane olympics and unexpected humor. But I enjoy your more serious topics too. You have written about your sisters divorce and your miscarriage in ways that have made me really think.
As for what you are doing with your blog… you are being you. And not to sound all corny, but I like you for you (or at least the you you have lead me to believe you are).
When we get all caught up in creating a unique niche, we choose not to post things that don’t fit in our corner of the blogosphere and we don’t make potentially great posts.
Besides, even the great dooce at least dabbles in all of the categories.
Laura Williamss last blog post..Bottoms Up!
I was just having this same conversation with both my mother and my husband. They both think I should give up on the recipes and stick with the mommy humor, but what if I’m not funny? Or better yet, what if I have nothing funny to say? It’s hard being funny every day and perhaps there in lies the challenge. A true creative CAN be funny every day. Okay, I’m going to go crawl into the corner, resume the fetal position and rub something soft while I consider my self-worth.
Beths last blog post..The Laws of Motherhood
Each type appeals to me in different ways, it depends on how the writer comes through. My friend Stephanie just writes about what she’s done each day and the deals she found at Gymboree and what type of stroller she might by next. Every time I read it I think, “this shouldn’t be interesting to me! Why is this interesting!” Even though her material isn’t novel, she is. And I don’t mean that she’s especially one thing or especially another thing, she’s just herself.
Memarie Lanes last blog post..Donuts and Death
That was a really good post. I wonder which category I would fall into if I ever actually started posting to our blog? I am getting closer though, but now that the Olympics are starting, it will probably have to wait until they are over. I love watching the Olympics and every free moment I have (or don’t have) will probably be spent finding out if Michael Phelps is going to win a bunch more medals this year.
Well, WHY DID THEY unsubscribe? I’d be completely obsessed. I have friends who say, “I have to catch up on your blog!” and the rest of the conversation I’m thinking, well, why haven’t you been reading it ALL THE TIME? EVERY DAY?
I am really the most unlikeable person in the world. After Heather Mills.
Junes last blog post..Imagine I’m annoying. It’s easy if you try.
Oh. And thank you for your continuous and unflinching support of my blog. See? See how ungrateful? Heather Mills called…
Junes last blog post..Imagine I’m annoying. It’s easy if you try. could not add cached callYou have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near ‘m annoying. It’s easy if you try.’,’69.89.31.96′)’ at line 1
Seriously, you are a very talented writer. You have a smorgasboard of interesting things to read. I never tire of reading your blog. I’d subscribe by email, but I prefer to just stalk you.
Nikkis last blog post..Rachel’s baby.
I was sitting here reading with such wonder and trying tot hink of possible reasons as to why they unsubscribed until the end – I laughed so hard Ritz came out my nose! LOL
Keep doing what you’re doing – you’re being you and being honest – heck – my blog is not all that interesting – I think my MySpace blog is better but to repost all those blogs now wouldn’t make much of sense especially in the timeline! LOL
Krystals last blog post..Would this work?
ROFL!
Summers last blog post..Carolina Pad and Paper
Oh, and I had NO freakin’ idea that I could see the email addresses of my subscribers. You just HAD to introduce me to a new time waster, didn’t you?
Summers last blog post..Carolina Pad and Paper
I LOVE your blog! I don’t know why anyone would think I would ever comment (read: NOT criticize) negatively about one of the most engaging, thought provoking blogs in the entire blogosphere!
Thanks for the nice comments!
June — Heather says, “when reading surreptitiously (sp?) at work, it might be a good idea to just skip to the last paragraph.”
Aaron — I have no idea what your double (single?) not-negative means. My poor lil’ brain.
Oh, I felt your pain. I have a story that can beat that, though. Can’t beat your punchline– that was great. But I can beat your angst:
A woman at church, whose husband worked with mine, (a couple who thought they invented intelligence and who reeked of judgment of everyone else) came up to me before sacrament started to ask me to please take her off my email list. No explanation. Like I even emailed her much?! Of course, she didn’t care to soften the blow with a reason, spoken kindly. She wanted to make me feel itty bitty. I didn’t because she’s a freak. But that’s another story.
Natasha Becoming Somethings last blog post..How blogging has made me a better person. For reals.
Huhhh finaly I found a blog that I like ;0 THX .:Nathan:.
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