I agree that all lives deserve examination and more examination leads to more compassion in the world and more healing as we can learn from the mistakes and experiences of others.

I liked what you did at the end of the post and I think your sister’s divorce disrupted your ability to trust.

I’m sorry to hear about your father. You’re right, of course, that suicide is much more final than divorce.

I lost my dad to suicide and saw what the pains that my mom had to suffer of why he did it. At least if it was a divorce he coud answer that question. I’m sorry to hear about your sister.

also- tom- you got it right on. that makes sooo much sense, and yet i had never thought about it that way before.

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When people lose their jobs, they do often struggle with questions of identity, because so much of their self-meaning is tied to what they do.

For some women, being a wife, mother, and homemaker is their full-time job. When divorce happens, it’s the same as losing your job. In the case above, your sister didn’t just lose her husband; she lost her job. Because of this, divorce probably affected her a lot more than it affected him. The (former) husband, who goes to work every day, still continues to go to work every day even after the divorce, and continues to have that identity tie and connection. In contrast, the woman is somewhat unemployed.

I liked this post.

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BTW, I love the new design! Very purty.

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I’m afraid in writing this post that I’ll anger my sister or make her think her confidences, her experiences are not safe with me.

The tension between respecting privacy and creating (I won’t say art, but, you know, writing anyway) is a tricky one. Blogging makes it more accessible, though people have been writing about private things since Adam and Eve.

I hope she’s happy too.

To your sister and her little ones, wishes for healing, better things to come, and feeling unconditionally loved.

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If someone is the victim of abuse, addiction, adultery or abandonment, they have difficult decisions to make, and I think that in many cases they MUST divorce, or they are enabling worse things.

But I agree — “no fault” divorce is the most insane thing I’ve ever heard of. Of course it’s someone’s (or two someones’) fault.

Divorce destroys lives.

And while the instigator walks away and starts fresh (I deserve to be ectastically happy every.day.of.my.life), everyone else involved in that family has to patch up their hearts and try to make it to the end of each day.

I do think there are times when divorce is necessary, but it’s just far too easy in our culture to walk off when things get tough.

My heart goes out to your family. Hug those kids tight!

I’m glad the Suicide index is so well-written, but not sure I can bring myself to read something so depressing on purpose.