First, a confession. I never got past book two of the Harry Potter series. Not because they weren’t engaging, but because I got lazy, I guess. Where an 800+ page book used to seem like a challenge, now it honestly makes me a little tired. And it’s not my favorite genre. That would be romance or romantic suspense or historical romance or romantic mystery historical suspense. You get the idea.
So I was talking to my friend who taught fourth grade. She has read practically every YA book, and especially every single fantasy-type book. This is my friend Tracey who, with our friend Melinda, I used to sit around on Friday nights reading books in high school. You know, when we weren’t out being extremely sought-after at parties.
Tracey loves Harry Potter — I think she said book five is her favorite, but the whole series is smashing! And I bragged casually mentioned how my soon-to-be second grader (Sally) was almost done with that one.
Oh, but with book six and seven, she said, you can definitely tell they’re not for kids anymore. Because the characters are growing up, they start swearing some, and Harry isn’t even really going to school, he’s fighting the bad guy, so it’s pretty scary.
Sally just showed me on the dust jacket of The Half-Blood Prince: “Teenagers flirt and fight and fall in love,” hand over her mouth, smirking and rolling of eyes. So it seems Tracey was right about the kissing, too.
What to do? I know this is only the first in a long line of books, movies, songs, clothes, etc that I’m going to have to allow or disallow. Clothes are easy. They’re modest or they’re not. Music is harder because I like a few songs that have questionable lyrics (but really good melodies!). Movies are pretty easy so far, even though Dick periodically tries to convince me that Sally can watch a a PG-13 movie with him. (She can’t. I’m in charge. The End.)
But books? What if my mom had not allowed me to read Wuthering Heights or Phantom of the Opera at 12? It wasn’t until a month ago that I watched the Gerard Butler Phantom and realized he was old enough to be Christine’s father, and just how disturbing that is. And Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged at 13? (though anyone who can get through John Galt’s speechifying deserves a few romantic encounters).
Compared to what most kids see on TV, this probably seems like a really silly question. But, my kids aren’t most kids.
The best answer, dang it, is for me to read the books first, right? Please don’t say that. How about I watch the movies? Is the last movie coming out soon?
What would you do? Have you read books six and seven? Have your kids? Will they give Sally nightmares or scar her for life?
Tags: books, harry potter, kids, parenting
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I love Harry Potter books, but I think your friend is right. Book 6 and especially 7 are very dark. There’s a scene in 7 that felt like something out of Stephen King’s books. It gave me nightmares.
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I wouldn’t let a 7 year old read the last two, but not because of kissing and puberty. That’s all pretty tame actually. But the last two are very scary even for an adult.
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I’d have her wait a couple of years – or at least read them out loud together. That way you can discuss the darker parts.
There’s some pretty scary stuff in there…
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I’ve read all the books and loved them. And I will be honest and tell you that I’m torn. I probably wouldn’t have let her start the books until later and that way she could finish the whole series, but that is ‘water under the bridge’. So, now what do you do? I hate to have her wait to know the ending – because the suspense is painful. It is impressive that she has gotten this far in the series at her age. Bravo Sally!!! Hrumph! I’m going to have to agree with the others that they are dark and it might be scary. If she is “plotzing” and just can’t wait and you are tired of her whining about reading them then I would read them with her – possibly out loud – so as to either censor as you go or to talk about things as they happen. These last two really do require parental participation – even at an older age.
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Well, I think I would let her read them, but, I really think that you should read them first and then decide, which is not what you want to hear, I know. Speaking of Wuthering Heights, I just watched a movie version starring Juliette Binoche from a number of years ago and I really enjoyed it. My sister Tracy thinks that you should let her raed them as well.
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Let her go for it!!! I found it a suspenseful book, but not particularly scary. I think that you should maybe, perhaps, if you want to, break out from the romance genre and read these books, really fun books.
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That last comment was from Brock, not Melinda again.
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I generally would say no, but honestly, how much do you think she’s absorbing? I mean I read Little Women in 4th grade, but I didn’t really understand it until 6th or 7th.
I think maybe you should watch movie #5, and understanding they get progressively darker, make your decision based on that.
Cristans last blog post..
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Depends on the kid. At least in my mind. I read them all the day they came out. My son who is now nine has read most of the books and I was fine with it. So was he. Yeah it’s dark. The world can be very dark. I thought Harry Potter was actually less dark–more hopeful–than Lemony Snicket, which my kids all love as well.
Good luck!
compulsive writers last blog post..i heart huckleberries
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Woo Hoo! Look at that cute butt! I can’t believe you posted a picture of your butt on the internet. You braggart, you. Wait, Harry Potter what?
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Now this is coming from a girl whose parents let her watch X-files with them so she could stay up (just a bit!) later. Let her read them! The world won’t end. The fairly tales of old are scary too! Read any original Hans Christen Andersen and it will leave you either fearing for your life or heartbroken. The little mermaid does not live happily ever after, she gives her life for her love. Sally may or may not be scared. But isn’t it better to be scared by Harry Potter, which isn’t real, than something actually threatening? At some point she will be scared, at least after reading she can run to you and your husband to be comforted. Not a bad way to be introduced to the “real” world.
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Ok well I would say let her, but pace it and be there with her to explain something she doesnt understand. If she realizes its fiction and not real then you have no real issue. I mean I have 2 kids in this age group, my Taylor 8 and Cameron 7. Taylor could read them, watch the movies and not bat an eye, they are make beleive and movie magic nothing to stress over. Cameron on the other hand cant watch movie 3 of Harry Potter cause of the dementors, and freaks out at the Pirate movie cause its dark, he still has not seperated real from imaginary. Bottom line is you know your own kid and what they can handle, do what you think is in her best interest. And if think its too much for her to handle then tell her she will have to wait just a bit longer. And dont watch the last 2 movies to see whats going on with it cause really they cut out so much of the book it wont really tell you whats going on.
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Good advice, everybody, Thanks! Nice that it varies — that way I can take the advice that I was leaning towards anyway
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Cate — good point on the old fairy tales. I love the Andrew Lang Fairy Books, and they can be grim and gruesome. Sally’s read a bunch of those and been unfazed, so . . .
Cassie — Yes. Each parent knows their own kid and they are all different. Sally has a good grasp on real v. imaginary, plus, I think a book is less scary than a movie (in general) because the imagery is only as scary as what your brain can supply to match the words.
Which goes back to what Cristan said — how much is she actually absorbing?
When she first started reading, I worried about her comprehension. She started laughing one time and I asked why. She read to me something that included “Harry’s ears pinkened.” And I was all, “What does that mean?” and she explained that it meant he was embarrassed. So at least she’s understanding SOME of it.
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I’m with Beth. Read the books with her pointing out how the “dark” illusions are created. A good English major like you should be able to make such reading fun and Sally wiser and self-confident.
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I don’t have kids but if I did I don’t think I’d mind them reading the series. I was reading Dean Koontz at age 11 and I’m not scarred for life (at least not seriously).
I agree with Cassie: make sure she knows it’s a story and not real.
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You know your child best.
Yes, there’s a tiny bit of kissing (“snogging”, as it’s termed in the books). It occurs either as an obviously immature boy (Ron) tries to make someone else (Hermione) jealous, or as two characters recognize their sincere affection for each other. I.e., there’s no gratuitous kissing and no gratuitous adolescent groping. When Rowling has characters kiss, it’s almost always to mark the fact they’ve recognized they love each other. My guess is that a 7-year-old would expect two people who are in love with each other to engage in a little snoggery. Rowling treats these matters with dignity and respect.
People die in these books, including some very good people. Voldemort is portrayed as thoroughly evil, but capable of making mistakes. Perhaps more difficult for a youngster to come to terms with is why so many otherwise ordinary people chose to abandon their goodness and side with Voldemort.
At their heart, the Potter series is about making choices. This comes to the forefront in these two books ,as we see the consequences of the choices made by all of the major characters, for themselves and for others. None of what happens was foreordained. Something different would have happened in Harry, or Dumbledore, or Voldemort had made different choices. Ron, Hermione, and other Hogwarts students also make fundamental choices that impact their lives.
So, I think you ought to read the entire series. I think you ought read the last two along with your child, staying a chapter or two ahead. And I’d talk with her about the choices the characters make. Lord knows, your daughter will be making choices herself.
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I’ve read them all and seen the movies that are out. I didn’t want Ellie (7 also) watching the fourth or the fifth movie, but she’s seen them all of course. I guess I just wanted her to enjoy the young-ness of the first three books. She’s not into reading them yet so I don’t have to worry about the sixth or seventh themes until the movies come out.
One thing I’ve been thinking about lately is that if the kids are “too young” to understand “what is really going on” or the darkness involved, then why have them read it anyway? I mean is the point just to let them find out what happens? Because I can tell you what happens.
I’ve been having this discussion with a co-worker who let’s his kid watch horribly violent movies. The dad says “well he doesn’t really understand anything going on” and so I think “well then what is the point besides just seeing dark, scary stuff”
I don’t think HP is exactly the same, but I think that there is something to be said about actually understanding what is happening and why. The sixth and seventh books are definitely older and a lot can be read into them. Like others said, you know your baby the best and if you think she could understand and enjoy those books, then let her read. But yeah, you don’t want to hear it, but you might want to check them out first.
Wow… long comment! sorry!
Julias last blog post..Little House on the Front Lawn
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Well, as I know this can be a heated topic, I’ll give you my two cents worth that have nothing to do with the “harry hype”…
My husband and I enjoy the books and movies. We have personally decided that they’re just not the best reading material for preteens – our reasoning being: Language of the characters (increasingly worse as the series progresses – why does getting older = more language?!?) Behavior of the characters (in the earlier books the students aren’t punished for their attitudes towards adults – instead they end up being praised for breaking rules – indirectly of course…) and overall age appropriate themes (the “romance” does get rather thick and wordy in the later books).
I do, however, think that reading them allowed to a younger child (or even a preteen – I loved to be read to – still do…) would be okay for us because we would be able to leave out or edit some of the things we found inappropriate for our family.
I know that kids hear/see a lot on tv, in school,etc… So do I. But, I also tend to remember it a lot more if I’ve read it on a page – just my learning style maybe – it sticks with me a bit more. I don’t need that sticking in my young ones’ heads.
That said, I think that each family needs to make their own decision – that’s my two cents
Amys last blog post..An Uppercase Living Book Party!
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All I can say is that mine read both, twice, while seven and she survived. I had qualms, but I think it depends on the kid, all in all.
Now, if I could get her to quit reading the series. She’s eight now and has probably read it seven times through. Enough, there are other books (and yes, she reads other books too, but …).
Stephen M (Ethesis)s last blog post..Angel Falling Softly — A Review and Comments
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I’ve read them, and they are a little scary. However, each child is different. I would honestly suggest you read them yourself and judge it for yourself – you know your children better than anyone else. When I was 10 years old, this would have been OK for me to read and not be upset or scarred. However, another 10 year old might be completely different
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my seven year old read all of the harry potter books five times each. i think the last two he read six times each. it was an addition for about two months. he just had to read and reread harry potter. now he has moved on to other thinngs, so i say it’s harmless… i’ve read all of them and find them rather boring.
sylwia
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i meant to type that it was his addiction, not addition
sylwia
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by the way, my son is 9 years old now and he reads a 400 page book everyday, harry potter is old news to him. he has taken an interest in historical fiction and he finds that history is much more scary than fantasy. afterall it is easy to explain that voldermort is not real, but children and slaves really do get kidnapped and parents really do die and leave orphans to starve on the side of the road….
harry potter is not real life therefore it is not scary… that’s what my 9 year old son would say…
sylwia
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