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Sometimes I think about homeschooling. This thinking usually peaks around May and plummets in July. The timing is handy, making me look forward to both summer vacation and to school starting again. And even though I know it’s a cycle, I can’t avoid it because let’s face it: two universal truths are competing here.
1) Kids are annoying. (Yes? You disagree? How about “high-energy” or “best-enjoyed-after-long-stretches-away-from-home”?)
2) Public school policy can be moronic.
I think I’m pretty rational (if liberal) about school attendance, so imagine my surprise when Sally’s school started sending home truancy notices last year. As if their attendance policies were somehow more significant than mine. Wait — Who gave birth to this kid? That’s what I thought.
When I reported to the school secretary, she advised getting doctors’ notes in future, as illnesses are excused. I asked, “How about I just tell you she’s sick. Because I don’t take her to the doctor for every cold or stomach bug, and I assume you don’t want green snot and vomit everywhere.” And the secretary kindly told me I could bring Sally in for them to determine that she is sick. As if I need anyone else to tell me my kid’s sick or to dispense a heavenly benediction upon my decision to keep my kid home from school. Just when, exactly, did public school import Principal Mao?
So. There’s a lot to be said for homeschooling, namely: freedom from dimwit public “officials” with unimaginable thirsts for power.
Then again (it’s July, after all), there’s much to be said for saying adios every morning at 8:30 and feeling genuinely excited to pick up the kids at 3. Love you again!!
I admit. This seems pretty unbalanced on the side of arranging things for mom’s benefit. Sure, Sally gets interaction and learns stuff at school. But I could set up playdates and fieldtrips and such. And now that she can read (after agonizing about her not reading by five, she read Harry Potter 1-4 last week), I am ultra-plus confident that she can and will learn whatever she wants to.
So why are we gazing longingly at the bins of Elmer’s glue and plastic pencil keepers? The stacks of freshly-cut paper and the Barbie backpacks?
The truth is, Sally needs other adults to love/emulate/admire. The longer she’s at home all day with me, the more needy she gets. I was teaching her Sunday school class at church until recently, and she always wanted to sit right by me, kissing my arm and distracting everyone.
Last June, Dick came home from a business trip on the last day of school. I picked him up at the airport and then we went to Sally’s school. I thought she would be ecstatic over seeing her beloved, fun, tolerant father. But she barely looked at him. She was inconsolable for a couple hours because she wouldn’t be seeing her teacher anymore: Mrs. Machol had announced that she was switching schools next year.
We reminded Sally that we were hoping to move too before the next year, and that she would be in second grade anyway. “But I won’t see her ever again,” she wailed.
Honestly? I was a bit miffed. Wasn’t she excited to see Daddy? Wasn’t she delighted about getting to be with Mom all the time? I promised to take her to the library (like kid crack) and swimming lessons (more kid crack) and Grandma’s house (ultimate kid crack), and, nothing.
Of course she bounced back, and this summer has been pretty good. But I want you to know that I am buying school supplies tomorrow, and next week I’ll call the school to see who she gets for second grade.
As long as her teachers are like Mrs. Machol and not Principal Mao, public school is best. For mom AND for Sally.
Don’t forget to go share your Things That Must Go. The LLBean Tote Bag giveaway ends tonight at midnight.
p.s. I don’t think Sally’s autistic. For one thing, she’s very affectionate and, for another, Grandma, despite all her other perfections, is not a trained psychologist. I’m sorry Sally was so crazy at the Little Women musical, Mom, but I don’t think autism was the problem.
Tags: daughters, homeschooling, motherhood, public school, school, summer, teachers
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Seriously? They want you to bring the child to school to determine if she’s sick!! Man, don’t even get me started on the subject of school policies. That’s why we have our kids in a private school. We looked at homeschooling but I thought I’d probably kill the kids in the first six weeks.
Wow–a truancy notice. I’d have brought her in to the office the next time she was sick and told her I’d give her $5.00 if she sneezed goo all over the computer keyboard.
But that’s just me!
I don’t think I have it in me to homeschool, at least not at this stage in life (with an Intrepid Toddler terrorizing our home). We do send ours to Catholic school and know that we are fortunate to be able to scrape the $$ together to do so.
Take care…
You know I went through that with Max, right? My MIL thinking and telling everyone he was autistic no matter what the doctor had to say about it? I think she’s finally stopped now, but it would help if the very few times she visits she’d stay longer than an hour or two. She’s spent a total of maybe twenty minutes with him over the past year, and when she does he’s so excited he just laughs and jumps around the whole time. No wonder she doesn’t think he can talk.
I wanted to homeschool, and WOW after about 2 weeks I was about ready to kill the 7yr and send the 8yr to military school, dont get me started on the 4 and 2yr olds, I was tempted to duck tape them. I applaud anyone who can handle their multiple kids and homeschool as well. I really think that August is like Christmas to me, I buy school supplies and get at least 5 hours of less fighting than I do on the summer days.
What is it with grandparents and Autism and ADHD? I swear if I hear it one more time I will from my mom or my FIL I will scream, dont they think we read these things too? Or that we dont take them to the dr? I mean hell the ER by my house knows my name when I walk in. But I just smile and nod and say really ok I will ask their dr what he thinks. You know they never ever dianose things like Diabetes, its always something that really cant be defined 100% as it effects everyone differently so HEY why not use psychology 101 and say “oh my poor grandson has Autism”
Jane — I used the word autistic to describe Sally’s behavior during the musical. The musical was more than all of us expected. Kids have a way of letting us know that they want out of there (Church, musicals). I am amazed that the kids know exactly what will drive us through the roof. You know I love Sally and am aware of her precociousness. I hope that you are using hyperbole to entertain, and don’t harbor ill-will. I have Harry Potter 5 here — should I bring it for Sally when we meet you camping?
I know that will keep her occupied. Maybe I should leave it at home so we can interact. I love you all!
I know, Mom (Grandma). It was definitely hyperbole, but if you mention it again . . . (just kidding! –I hope you’re not upset that I quoted something you said mostly in jest).
It was my fault for not finding out how long the musical was (and for assuming she was old enough to appreciate it). Sometimes Sally is mature beyond her years, and then when she acts like a “typical” 7-year old, I shouldn’t be surprised or disappointed, but often I am.
Cassie and Marie — I don’t know what I’d do with parents or in-laws who tried to interfere with how I raise my kids. I get enough of that from the school people!!
My family (and Dick’s) are really supportive and encouraging. I guess you can tell that when I write a whole post about the fact that Grandma said twice that Avery acted autistic on an outing. If I were used to that kind of statement, it wouldn’t have made an impact, you know?
Cassie — I can’t even begin to imagine homeschooling 4 boys!!
Marianne — Catholic school does look really appealing. We’ve had Lutheran and Presbyterian preschools for Sally, and they were great.
Natalie – -Totally get the appeal of private school. Maybe I should look into vouchers or something . . . (Would help if I knew where we’ll be living this year for sure).
Would it be inappropriate for me to tell you that I love for for saying that “kids are annoying” is a reason not to homeschool? I can definitely say that because my kids annoy me (and yes, your nicer phrases apply–high-energy, and I’ll add relentless seekers of attention), and I’ll point the fingers back at myself and say that they have an impatient and sometimes ill-tempered mom.
My daughter is the same way as you describe yours–she needs approval from others, and both she and my son need other role models. If one is “called” to homeschool and it works with your personality and that of your kids, more power to you.
You have excellent analysis. thanks for writting
I am a dad of two boys with autism, I look to your blog for current info! Thank You!
[...] told Grandma (yes, that Grandma) about this exchange, thinking that she and I could have a “What do men know? This is how [...]
I feel the same way! I go abck and forth but have ultimately decided the kids need to be in public school — for now. I have even recieved those notes, I can’t stand those… Great post!
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