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Things That Must Go and an L.L.Bean Tote Bag Giveaway

07.19.08 | things that must go | 21 Comments

Welcome to Things That Must Go. This week’s giveaway is a custom L.L.Bean Tote Bag, but first, here are a couple of my favorite entries and the winner of the iTunes giveaway from last weekend.

Almost-Wons:

Robyn of Robyn’s Online World: Long drawn out pauses on reality shows announcing winners of the challenge, event, show, etc. Thank goodness for TiVo so I can skip that, but geez folks come on! (At first glance this might seem a tad superficial, but, really. Do they need that seven minute cliffhanger before revealing that Kherington and Gev are going home? Not that I watch So You Think You Can Dance or anything. No. I can wait ’til American Idol is on again for my reality show fix).

Celena Metzger: hmmm definitely those cloth hand Towels in public restrooms where everyone and their mother has used with goodness knows what kind of germs! (I think we’ve touched on public restrooms before, but the fabric hand towels. Yes. Those must go!)

And the winner is:

EMama: Fish pill burps. Like being pregnant isn’t nasty enough on its own. (I’ve been thinking about pregnancy lately, and no, I’m not pregnant, nor am I WonderWoman. But also? If anyone ever tells you that castor oil induces pregnancy? A) It does not, and 2) It tastes awwwwwful, and 2.5) It is a laxative. Lax-a-tive). Congrats to EMama. I shall be emailing you shortly.

And now, (pause) (pause). My

Things That Must Go

False Confessions. Recently I read a post* inviting people to anonymously confess their darkest secrets. Several commenters made absolutely painful, heartbreaking confessions, and I hope that doing so allowed them to envision making more meaningful confessions and figuring out how to fix whatever needs to be fixed in their lives.

One of the confessions was just a bit off, though. Here it is, in my words:

All right. I’m going to be brave and not go the anonymous route. Of course, anonymity is fine for you cowards with such bizarre problems, but here’s my terrible, hideous secret: Once I worked for a very mean man. He said I couldn’t read [insert literary classic] at work, even when all my work was done to perfection. But I can’t go even a day without reading, and so I read, and . . . sniff . . . I LIED to him when he asked me. This was terrible, because I am NOT a liar, and even if my boss was as bad as Hitler burning books in Berlin, I should have told the truth. This weighed on my sensitive conscience for years, until I broke down and wrote him a letter confessing all and apologizing profusely. Even though he was a very, very mean man. Who didn’t like to read.

This is like saying in a job interview, when they ask you what your biggest flaw is: “Sometimes I work too hard.” Or, to a fellow-PTA Mom: “I just love my family too much, I guess.”

False confessions, while understandable in a job interview (Make your weaknesses sound like strengths!) or in any highly-volatile situation like a PTA meeting, are just one of the many Things That Must Go!

I hope you’re ready to share your Things That Must Go. This week’s giveaway is a custom LLBean Tote Bag (small or medium, shipping to the U.S. only). You can design it any way you want (including monagramming, though that does seem a bit . . . hmm). My mother-in-law gave me an LLB tote several years ago, and I can definitely recommend it — with the long straps, outside pocket and zip-top. Mmm-mmm.

Simply leave a comment with your Things That Must Go before midnight Monday July 21st.

 

 *I’d link to the post, but if my mom knew I was reading posts (and comments!) like those, she probably wouldn’t let me use her laptop ever again.

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