In Which WonderWoman Meets Her Match

WonderWoman gaped at the doctor. “I’m gonna have a buh . . . a buh . . .?”

“Not a buh. A baby.” He smiled encouragingly.

“You’re sure? Like seventy percent or eighty? I know you doctors love percentages.” Please-oh-please let it be eighty-five or ninety. She could cope with ninety percent.

“‘Fraid not. Pregnancy’s one of those 100-percent things.” He frowned. “This isn’t so terrible, is it? It says here you’re married, and you’re as healthy as any woman I’ve seen in twenty years of practice.“

A strangled sound escaped WonderWoman. “How pregnant am I?”

“Very. Close to one-hundred percent.” His eyes twinkled in a professional manner. See? Didn’t she say doctors loved their percentages?

“Haha. I mean, how far along?” She sat still, no fidgeting. Don’t let them see your fear. Maybe she’d rather chase a meth junkie down a dark alley, but no doctor was going to scare her.

“Well, you’re about ten weeks, so I guess if you’re sure you don’t want the baby . . .“

“Oh, it’s not that I don’t want it. I mean, I don’t want it, I think, but I don’t not want it either.” What would WonderHubs think? Were they ready to be parents? Was she ready to be WonderMom?

The doctor sighed. “I know this is a big change. But relax, you’ve got six months to prepare, and no one expects you to turn into SuperMom overnight, either.

A wry smile. “No. No one expects SuperMom anymore, do they?”

“One decision you need to make soon is whether you want me to refer you to an obstetrician or a midwife or – who’s your regular doctor?”

“You’re my regular doctor.”

“But I haven’t seen you in ten years!“

She shrugged. “Like you said, I’m pretty healthy, and I get a lot of, uh, exercise.”

“Good, good,” he said. “Some women compare labor to a marathon – it’s not a stretch to say that you should definitely be training. Your visible muscle tone is fabulous, but you’ll want to get started on your Kegels right away.”

“Kegels?”

“Pelvic floor exercises. They help with the urinary incontinence associated with labor and delivery.”

“Gee, doc, you’re making this pregnancy gig sound really good.“

“ Sorry.” Again with the twinkle. Bet he wouldn’t laugh if someone signed him up for incontinence duty.

“Now, nutrition: here’s a list of banned items.”

“Oh, I know: No alcohol, right?”

“Right — along with shellfish, soft cheese, excessive caffeine.”

“Excessive — that’s another joke, right?”

“Sorry, no.” He smiled again. “Any other questions before we see you next time? Don’t forget your vitamins, only not in the morning – iron’ll aggravate the morning sickness. Extra sleep, liquids (not caffeine), sleep on your left side, Kegels morning and night, nothing spicy, especially before bed. Oh, and remember you’re not really eating for two – more like for one and a tenth. But most of all, relax. Enjoy it. That baby’ll be here and needing you well-rested before you know it.”

“Thanks, Doc. I guess I’ll, uh, see you in, uh . . .”

“For now it’s every month. See you then!”

WonderWoman stumbled, heroically, to the receptionist’s desk.

“Ok, hon. You’re going to be coming regularly, so is one day of the week better?”

“How about Tuesdays?” Good idea. Most people were still recovering from their weekend crime-sprees, so Tuesdays were usually slow. But with hurricane season approaching. . .

“I should have asked the doctor – do you know if I should not be flying?”

“Flying’s okay for now. Ask next time about when you should restrict your travel. Okay, then. We’ve got you down for Tuesday the 12th at ten. Take care!”

WonderWoman nodded. Maybe she’d take the rest of the day off. Let WonderHubs save the world for once. It would still be there tomorrow. Today there were Kegels to be done and vitamins to take. And naps to be napped. She hadn’t felt this tired since Fiji. And WonderBaby here sounded a bit more disruptive than some puny monsoon.

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Special thanks to Marianne of Writer-Mommy for inspiring me to try some fiction. Though I guess you can’t really blame her for this. Also thanks to the Write-Away contest for the topic.

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Even more special thanks to all those who entered this weekend’s Things That Must Go iTunes Giveaway. This coming weekend the giveaway is a custom LLBean Tote bag. Can’t wait to hear what’s bugging you this week!