I’ve been telling my sister to get over the Prince of Darkness (PoD) since March. Except for the days when I agreed with her that “Sure, he might get an accidental lobotomy and a heart, and everything will be fine.”
Then last week he threatened to sue for custody of the kids if she asks for the financial records the judge needs to determine allocation of assets, alimony, child support.
And she realized, after all the things that he has done, What He Is. I think this is common in battered women. They’ll take anything a PoD dishes out, but when he threatens to treat the children as his chattel, they’ll finally, PRAISE EVERYTHING HOLY, see him for What He Is.
My sister started house-hunting, even talked about opening her own checking account. She and I ran a 5K race (her first) on Saturday.
Today I got a voicemail from her asking if I knew anything about a boy I went to school with. He’s a dentist now, divorced or widowed, with three kids. A friend wants to set them up.
I told her last week, when she called, sobbing, overwrought over the PoD’s blackmail, that I promise her: In two years we’re going to sit down, and you’re going to tell me that you are transcendantly, radiantly happy now. Now that you know what marriage is supposed to be like, you’re going to tell me that the only thing bothering you is that you stayed for so long, and would have stayed forever if he’d let you.
Today I listened to her almost-normal voice on the phone, asking about someone new, and all I could think was, If Dick ever left I would be in my cave of devastation for years and not thinking about dating.
Maybe because I would also be mourning his death, as not many would survive what I can do with my Pampered Chef paring knife.
Or maybe because Dick is someone I cannot imagine ever being shallow, selfish, dishonest, narcissistic, or without honor. Or because he keeps his promises.
Or because: I do not know how that feels.
Tags: divorce, marriage, sisters
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very touching, and very true. i am glad she is starting to think of the future – for the kids and also for herself!
tarables last blog post..All About The Well-Rounded Woman
He’s an idiot for putting it in an email. I hope she gives it to her lawyer who can show it to the judge. I despise men like this, they are lower than low.
Azucars last blog post..More Things the Internets Have Taught Me
Wow. I totally had an inappropriate thought to leave regarding his state of absolute low-ness, but I erased it. What a scumbag. I am so sad for her and so relieved for her at the same time. She truly deserves the very best.
Nikkis last blog post..Bread and Bread Kits
I don’t even know your sister and my heart is breaking for her. I will keep her in my prayers.
Beths last blog post..Yes Virginia, You Can Eat Brownies While On a Diet
I feel so badly your sister is going through this right now. But you are so right – if she can just be strong now, this too shall pass, and she can get on with a fruitful life.
Thank heavens she left him.
Kelly @ Pass the Torchs last blog post..Growing a Servant’s Heart
Thanks for all the kind thoughts and prayers. It means a lot to my sister that people (friends, strangers, and family) all care about her.
Azucar — It was over the phone, unfortunately. We’d been telling her to sever all direct communication, and this was the turning point. If he’d had to go through her lawyer or one of their parents for this conversation, I’m sure he would have phrased things differently.
Kelly @ PTT — She didn’t leave him; she offered to do almost anything to get him to stay. But now she has accepted, finally, that he is gone, emotionally and morally, as well as physically.
Would any judge consider giving the kids to him? He is the one that left her, and treated her badly, and she has always provided the care for the children. I hope she can get through these next few months or however long the proceedings take, and be able to move on to someone that deserves her.
On another note, it is funny that you mentioned Seriously So Blessed in your last post, someone else sent us a link to it last week and we have been laughing over it since then. The sad thing is that I have read some similar blogs, except they weren’t satire.
sounds like a Tom Petty song
Isn’t it horrible what people will stoop to when they are bound and determined to hurt someone else? I’m so sorry your sister is going through this, but I’m relieved in some ways that she is doing it now and not living the rest of her life thinking “this is happiness, it must be, everyone else is doing it” and being completely miserable and guilty because she feels miserable.
I hope the judge in the case (if it comes to it) is reasonable.
Julias last blog post..Gettin’ Cozy at the Cone
I hear ya- after seeing him last week, all i can think about are the mean things i wish i had said to him. but then i realized that it wouldn’t have done any good anyway- he doesn’t have a heart anymore.
I’m so sad for your sister (no one walks down the aisle with this end in mind).
From what I’ve read here, it sounds like your family (siblings, parents) are very close; thank goodness she has all of you as do her kids.
As for him…well, don’t know him. But any man who sees his children as trading tokens ain’t no man at all.
nice website keep up to good work