I could probably maintain an entire blog just about the (childrens) books that make an old-fashioned book-burning look totally defensible. But honestly, the gag-reflex I get from Angelina Ballerina is greatly eclipsed by the desire to glut myself on endless re-readings of Dumpy LaRue, Julius, the Baby of the World, The Ordinary Princess, and everything by L.M. Montgomery.
But where’s the fun in slavering adoration? Besides, the House quote I chose for today is:
Dr. Wilson: Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.
Dr. Gregory House: And triteness kicks us in the nads.
I don’t really know what this means: “Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.” The wisdom of House’s comeback is apparent Every. Single. Sunday. At. Church.
Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth
Does it mean that on your way to falling for your chemistry lab partner:
You get distracted by the captain of the lacrosse team:
Or does it mean that if something looks good and sounds good, it’s easy to overlook the real message? Like, say, that great children’s morality tale The Rainbow Fish? Ostensibly about sharing (good) and vanity (bad), I am not the first to point out that it’s really a clumsy parable about the virtues of socialistic society in which anything good (beauty) must be shared (enforced by emotional manipulation) for any kind of happiness to be achieved. But I think it’s even worse than that. I KNOW. Can it be?
Let’s consider how an earnest parent could use The Rainbow Fish as pre-standardized test preparation (Hey, it’s cheaper than Kaplan Review):
How to Read to Your Children so They Ace the ACT
1) Ask comprehension questions: Why is Rainbow Fish sad?
2) Introduce If-Then logic construction: If Rainbow Fish gives a scale to the other fish, then ?
3) Vocabularic Analogy: Scale is to Ocean as Fur is to .
4) Math: If R.F. swims at 5 mph and Daddy still cannot find our house in the dark, how long would it take R.F. to get home?
5) Moral Dilemma: When the other fish refuse to play with Rainbow Fish if he won’t surrender his very epidermis to them, is that just a reminder of the IRS’s role in our lives or a commentary on the greedy, petty nature of mankind?
6) MD #2: When Rainbow Fish agreed to appear on TV in a mediocre animated series with dubious plotting and suspect moral pronouncements, was he selling out?
The problem with The Rainbow Fish is that every parent wants to see their child as Rainbow Fish, the beautiful, unique, WELL above-average fish who learns that it’s better to look like everyone else if that means everyone else will play with you. Wait, that’s not it. I mean, R.F. learns that sharing makes him happy. Right.
What about all the ugly non-rainbow fish? What if my kid is an ugly fish, a fish without whatever it is the special fish has, pushing, covetous of someone else’s Wii? Do I really want her to learn from this book that she should withhold her friendship and empathy until that Wii is cut in enough pieces to share with the entire neighborhood? I don’t think so.
—-
For an only-to-true look at the other House quote for this week, check out this funny post from Sit. Stay. Good Blog. I especially like the part where her boss asks her to find a heartfelt, personalized Mother’s Day sentiment for him to deliver.
Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It’s not gonna happen.
To participate in the Makes-Me-Smile Monday Carnival, see the guidelines here.
Tags: book review, childrens books, parenthood, test preparation, the rainbow fish
Subscribe by email
I bought the Rainbow Fish because I liked the illustrations, two weeks later I gave it away because it made me want to vomit. Not for any of the reasons you listed either, but because it tells kids that if they want people to like them they have to do whatever they say, give them all their stuff, and surrender their originality.
I also gave away a VeggieTales book for a similar reason. It was supposed to be about all the ways God makes us special, but when each character describes all the things that make them special they describe nothing but physical attributes. Bob is special because he’s red, Laura because she’s orange, Archie because he’s tall and lean, etc. Not good values if you ask me.
Memarie Lanes last blog post..Her teeth were stained, but her heart was pure.
[Reply]
C is a big Angelina fan, but I think just for the mechandising, because I cannot stand to read the books to her; they drone on and on.
I happen to adore Kevin Henkes, though. And L.M. Montgomery.
[Reply]
Gladis — I hope you see this. I was thinking of you just the other day and wanted to send you an email, but your yahoo address is bouncing back. Also I can’t comment on your blog because I’m not a “friend” anymore. Anyhoo, just wanted you to know that I’m not purposely ignoring you.
[Reply]
Didn’t I comment during the UBP about how I cannot stand the overly dramatic girly spats on Angelina Ballerina? Spats heightened by the crescendo-ing, equally dramatic music?
Thank goodness my daughter has moved on from that show!
Will write on MMSM soon.
[Reply]
Love it. Never thought of the socialistic aspects of Rainbow Fish. Usually just read it as fast as I could so that I could start in on the booze.
Kidding, folks! Geez.
Sure does have purty pictures, though…
traceys last blog post..Arachnaphobia
[Reply]
I love your Kaplan prep on Rainbow Fish (Oh how I hate that book! And it has sequels that are even worse. Scholastic’s cheap books can be a curse.)
At least Chrysanthemum can kick Julius’ butt. You were saddled with the wrong Henkes.
And House is our own Oscar Wilde. Though Dr. House is fictional and Wilde only had pretensions of being fictional.
[Reply]
Thanks for the kudos! I really appreciate the MMSM, it alone makes me smile!
Haven’t read the book so I cannot comment on Rainbow Fish. Have a great weekend!
[Reply]