I feel a bit like a muppet myself, today. Sort of floppy and round-headed. I could use those sticks attached to my wrists to move my right arm and a hand supporting my spine to keep my head from lolling to the side. And a rag for the drool would be nice.
Probably that is just the percocet talking. The percocet would probably also be happy to tell you that I have finally pooped for the first time since last Thursday. There is nothing like being grateful for normal bowel functions.
After my surgery on Friday, where the orthopedist discovered that I had neither cartilage nor ligaments to repair (who wants a fake shoulder? Ooh, ooh, Me!), I had just a few requests: lemon meringue pie, Krispy Kreme donuts with white frosting filling, Coke fountain drinks and hot chocolate. I read once that alcohol changes to sugar, which is why it’s bad for your diet? I hope mixing painkillers with apocalyptic amounts of sugar isn’t as dangerous as mixing drugs with beer.
Of course, a clear head can be kept. Just say no! The pain builds, like when Spot gets hurt and she catches her breath, and the longer it takes for the crying to start, the worse you know it’s going to be. You hold your breath with the baby, hu-ah, hu-ah, hu-ah, then the piercing, penetrating screeching. Whole body tensed against the pain, waiting, focused. Then, oh yes, there it is, almost a relief to not be anticipating it any longer. No need to hold your breath any longer.
But why did you want to keep a clear head again?
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Swing by 3 AM Designs to check out Toni’s post, complete with Miss Piggy youtube scenes. There is no pain, physical or emotional, that a Muppet scene on youtube cannot make a little bit better.
Tags: shoulder surgery
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Here’s my MMSM comment (I don’t have enough for a whole post). First, I’m really sorry about your shoulder being worse than they initially thought.
Is Muppet Caper the one where Piggy dances in the water? Yeah. I remember in high school Adrianne and I went camping with our family. We sang this song over and over: “Happiness, Miss Piggy. Love’s caress, Miss Piggy. All the world ever wanted was you, a dream come true.” We were both boyfriendless and full of hope for the day that a boy would tell us we were his dream come true. Sucks to be in that position again.
What a depressing comment. Feel free to delete.
Hope you’re getting lots of recuperation!
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Brad sometimes holds his breath in his sleep, and when he does I simply cannot breathe until he starts up again. Drives me nuts.
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I am sorry about your shoulder. Does this mean you are going to have to get a shoulder replacement? I wish there was something I could do for you.
As far as writing about the Great Muppet Caper (GMC), I thought I would jot down a few of the lessons that I have learned from the movie.
1. Hats are a great way to change your appearance.
2. Pigs really can be models.
3. Never skimp when it comes to flying.
4. Don’t forget to take some money with you when you take a date to a fancy supper club.
5. However, money is not necessary for hotels if you choose the “sneak out in the middle of the night” option for payment.
Of course there are many more lessons to be learned from the movie, these are just a few. One of things that I love best about the Great Muppet Caper is that no matter how many times I have seen it, I still laugh at the jokes. How can anyone not laugh when Kermit gasps while reading the menu at the supper club. When asked what the matter is he replies, “I find it slightly amusing that the roast beef is the same price as an Oldsmobile.”
Or when Miss Piggy ends up in prison because Nicky Holiday planted stolen jewels on her.
Prison Guard: Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy: What?
Prison Guard: Your lawyer is here to see you.
Miss Piggy: Lawyer? I don’t have a lawyer.
Prison Guard: Och, sure you do. Little green guy.
Miss Piggy: [short intake of breath] Kermie. Oh. No wonder he hasn’t come by to see me. He had to finish law school.
Or when Kermit tells Miss Piggy she is overacting and to quit “hamming it up.”
The GMC is my family’s favorite movie of all time. We watch it when we get together for holidays and we quote it all year round. Once I even memorized most of the Happiness Hotel song. One of my favorite lines is “If you don’t mind friendly animals and you can learn to stand the smell, well welcome home, to the Happiness Hotel.” The thing about the GMC though, is that you can’t really watch it alone. You have to watch it with people that will laugh with you, or else it is just not as fun. I personally think you can tell a lot about a person by their feelings toward the GMC. If they don’t think it is funny, then they probably are not, as Ann Shirley would say, “a kindred spirit.” There is something about sharing a good joke with someone that really just brightens your day, and since the GMC is full of good jokes, watching it with friends is a good time.
Jane, I wish I could bring the GMC over to your house and watch it with you while you are recovering from surgery. No, it wouldn’t make the pain go away, or solve your shoulder problem, but I hope you would get a good laugh out of it, which always makes things better.
*Anne Shirley – How embarrassing! I spelled Anne without the “e.” It is so much more romantic with an “e.”
You are a very brave — and now injured — blogger. Ouch. My arms hurt as I type this, thinking of you.
Best wishes for your recovery. As for the alcohol changing to sugar thing, I think alcohol acutally changes into false courage and the urge to do Chinese Fire Drills.
But I could be wrong…
I am so sorry about your shoulder. You will be in our thoughts and prayers!
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So sorry about your shoulder – I know “sort of” how you feel since I had my rotator cuff repaired a few years ago. Thinking of you.
hugs,
toni
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