Aack. I feel all self-conscious, and almost wish I hadn’t linked up to the UBP. I’m not one for seeing and being seen for the sake of it. Really. I feel like I’m in high school again, and not in a good way, which most of high school was (good). All these blogs, all these commenters on all these blogs.
I think I’d like to hibernate for awhile and pretend this never happened. I’ll go back to lurking, and writing my letter to the world in comfortable anonymity and total obscurity.
The elephants at the zoo on Saturday wouldn’t look at us. We stared and stared at their comfortably large backsides. How great to be an elephant, and munch all day, heedless of wrinkly skin and drooping ears. Big round feet and gray hair and so careless of their audience. Come or go. Stare at my backside or go schmooze up to the zebras, who look an awful lot like donkeys.
Elephants gestate for 21 months. So that’s out.
The zoo has one of only 10 white alligators in the world. Actually, I’m starting to doubt whether we really saw the white alligator or not. Wikipedia has no knowledge of a white alligator: maybe it was the intense, Florida-like humidity and not-Florida-like chemical stink in the air of the white alligator habitat that induced visions of the white alligator.
There were plenty of other animals to meet, of course. Look at the comatose cougars! (Rise and shout the Cougars are out, along their way to fame and glory!). Oooh, the bats in their cave! (No wonder the Count on Sesame Street is so creepy!). Let’s skip the Asian highlands and reptiles and grab some lunch.
On our way out we braved the white alligator. Spot was impressed. I was mesmerized. Look at that crease in her neck. I just want to munch and munch. Dick gives the girls piranha hugs, snorting and tickling at their necks. Spot throws her head back, arching her soft white neck. It’s downy, whatever that is, and smells so sweet. I want to burrow right there, hearing her giggles, breathing in her baby skin forever. Or at least until the Ultimate Blog Party is over.
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Does this mean you won’t want to go to the zoo with us? Phoenix is a way better zoo than yours – although we don’t have a white aligator. But we have three elephants and a lot of cool monkeys. Other than my boys I mean.
You should have invited us! You must be so busy with all your new blogging friends….
Thanks for the skirt and Barbie back.
Personally I’ve only gotten 8 hits from the UBP.
I think my daughter would have a nervous breakdown if she saw an alligator (white or any other kind) with her animal phobias. I kept thinking about alligators when I was in florida… some stupid news story from a million years ago about an alligator eating a jogger. i never saw one.