Dad–you kill me on the love to hate thing. why is it so fun to get irritated about some things?

Marie–this is what i was feeling a bit the other day about the gifted thing. i was “gifted” as a kid, and, though it didn’t make me a lazy student, it made me not try in other areas. so i think my perception of myself wasn’t the best incentive to become a good all-around person.

Adrianne–i read somewhere that it takes 7 positive things to counteract the sting from 1 criticism. i know i should just stop ever criticizing, but in the meantime (while waiting for that epiphanous moment of character-transfiguration), i try to balance my bads with 7 goods. that can get kind of exhausting, so that’s more incentive to stop with the negative.

Tammy–yep!

oh, and dudes! on the gil-jill nickname thing, all i can say is, thank goodness it’s the weekend and hopefully we can all take a few days (or hours…minutes?) off … jill-bear?

and Tiffany, like i said, the blog (as scrapbook/journal/babybook) is certainly a place to mark all those awesome milestones. Go Dylan!!

There is such a thing as praising your child too much. I have already told some of you how my parents were always telling me I was sooo smart that I wouldn’t have to worry about money for college, and that my brilliance would just impress everyone to pieces. As a result I never felt like I had to try. I became a lazy student. Why bother if I’m so impressive as is?

I’m wondering if we sometimes try too hard to put everyone in categories. Like the “Susan is pretty and Sandra is bright” thing. I think I just like to let me kids “be” whatever they are instead of labeling it. Know what I mean? If I say my kid is kind (I know, it’s the generalization thing that gets to me!) then if she does something unkind I look like a liar. Instead, if my kid does something kind I will definitely praise the specific behavior.

Does this make sense?

I think I have caught myself saying, “Will really is a great kid but man, sometimes he drives me nuts.” It is something I need to be careful of so that he doesn’t have the same experience I had with my dad (who is wonderful by the way).

I’m glad Marcy brought the quote up by Elder Holland because I totally agree about that.

Mike says this about bragging about your children, “I think it’s just like any other form of pride-stupid and wrong.” He doesn’t know I put his opinion on…he is out of town. Hope he’s not embarrassed.

a related issue: one construction i love to hate is when a parent is discussing one of their kids who is a genuine delinquint or downright criminal, and they say, “Johnnie is really a good kid, he just…”. Or the similar situation, when a kid with real intellectual or achievement challenges is being discussed, and somebody invariably says, “Johnnie is actually a very bright kid, it’s just that…” Isn’t bright is as bright does? Or stink is stink because it stinks, not because we wish it could be something else.

Oh, and I think I just posted a brag post before I clicked over here. Luckily I don’t know any other baby boys exactly my baby’s age to compare to. (I don’t hang out w/ the other Dylan from church enough I guess) so it may be bragging, but I’m just finally happy that my baby is hitting mile stones – probably late – who knows. I’m too lazy to go get out my baby book to write in it now.

i think the Jeffrey Holland quote is awesome, Marcy. when i heard it last conference, i thought, this is so true. and it goes along with bragging about your own kids to other moms also. as in Gladis’ example, if another mom asks you to agree that her daughter is the “absolute prettiest,” how or why would you want to agree with that in front of your own daughter? this is just plain inconsiderate on the part of the bragging mother.

i have a friend who is great at giving compliments and being positive and cheerful. but i sometimes feel a bit uncomfortable when she turns this to my kids or her own daughter. maybe this is some puritan thing a bit on my part that i don’t gush over how cute my kids are or whatever.

but just let someone say anything remotely unflattering! then the mommy bear will roar! someone (don’t know if you’re reading this blog yet, Liz) kept commenting on Lucy’s nose when she was first born, saying things like, “I just don’t know where she gets that nose from.” and frankly, i thought Lucy’s nose was better looking than her kid’s nose! so i just said nothing. until i sat through the same “where did that nose come from?” like 5 times, and then i said, “hey, tom and i thought your kid’s nose was a bit funny at first, but we didn’t say anything, so maybe you could stop saying anything TOO!” and she (being the most awesome, wonderful sil ever) did.

i think it is great when there is a family with many (at least 2) kids, and each kid thinks that they are the parents’ favorite–not in a competive way, but in that “i know i’m special” sort of way. i think Christianity wants us to be humble but also to be sure that we are children of God, and as such, we’re each pretty darn special.

Susan–if you have sidebar widgets, you can add a text box and then copy and paste the embed code from the travbuddy website into the text box. if you don’t have sidebar widgets, then i have no idea. maybe ask on wordpress.com help? i’ve found their help articles to be pretty helpful sometimes (not as helpful as asking tom, but, you know…). is your theme a 2.0 theme? bec. i think all 2.0 themes are widget compatible?

That kind of extreme bragging sort of backs the listener into a corner, w/ very little to say that is both honest and tactful.

Hey – I love the TravBuddy map. How did you put it in your sidebar? I tried to do one (I know I’m a copycat), but it didn’t work.