There were a lot of great comments to my self-sufficiency post, and I also got emails from some family members; I guess they just haven’t grasped the self-exhibitionism of the internet yet. But they really made me think, and their examples of self-reliance are something I want to emulate; something I especially need to emulate, because they are the people to whom I turn for monetary assistance as needed. If I take their money to help me, then I must also take the lessons they have taught. I also want to learn from them because they are happy in their self-reliance. I want that happiness for myself and my family.
My parents will be glad to know (maybe) that I mixed up my first batch of powdered milk yesterday. I mixed it with regular milk, and only fed it to the kids, but, still, it’s a step in the right direction. I also made homemade refried beans for dinner, but that is something I like a lot anyway, so maybe it doesn’t count as sacrificial use of my store of pinto beans.
My father-in-law thinks there is really something to the detrimental effect our self-perception has on our ability to gauge reality. He is an awesome example of someone who has overcome a weakness and steadily, day-by-day, faced reality. My mother-in-law is the most generous person I know. She is also a modest person. Let me just say that I am taking her example to heart.
I was born while my parents were in medical school; they joined the Navy to pay for school, and were still very poor. My parents lived in a mobile home for four years. They bought kidney because it is a nutrient-rich and cheap form of meat. As I recall, the story goes that they couldn’t stand the taste so they fed it to me. Thanks! My mom still shops at thrift stores and finds amazing things. I don’t know why I ever thought I could spend more freely than my parents do (and did). What was I thinking?
My “rich” parents wash out their disposable plastic water bottles and use them over and over until they are squashed and sunbleached beyond all recognition. The last time I was home my dad was washing them (he’s not always able to help with dishes, so I was impressed to see him doing this). He said maybe it was time to stop washing them; I agreed, after all, I buy new water bottles and just fill them up about 2-3 times and then chuck ‘em (this way they’re kind of like disposable contacts; you re-use them, but not enough to have to actually wash them). But my dad, who makes a good living, followed my mom’s habit of being super-frugal.
So, I need to fix my perception of what I have and what I need to be happy. I’m making a list of everything I have that the Zabaleen in Al Mokattam do not have. Al Mokattam is “garbage city” on the outskirts of Cairo. It smells; it’s a garbage dump. The Zabaleen, Coptic Christians, gather the trash, sort the trash, recycle the trash, and live next to (or on) the trash.
A USAID report concluded that many of them would not leave their home/city even if they could because their families are in garbage city and they would not leave them. Obviously, I can learn a lot from these people. Another interesting point about them is that there are tons of beggars in Egypt. Giving alms to the poor is a tenet of Islam and is very open (which is a good thing). But when I visited garbage city, the children did not cluster around me asking for pounds.
Now, why should I compare myself to the poorest of the poor? I honestly do not think that I would be happy living as they are, because it is so foreign to what I am used to (and because I want better for my children of course). I hope that if I were put in their position (or taken to a concentration camp or some other awful thing) that I could learn to be happy or at least not miserable all the time, but it is impossible for me to contemplate right now. However, I think that an examination and enumeration of all that I do have (that I take for granted) will help me to alter my perception of reality.
Subscribe by email
There is a great book Barb leant me called The Tightwad Gazette. It gives a lot of really great, and some frightening ideas on ways to conserve money (I will not re-use paper towels or use breadbags as diaper covers!). It’s a testimony to this book’s greatness and usefulness that there are no used copies available on Amazon, LOL.
I read a book once (fiction) in which the heroine had been raised by her anthropologist parents travelling among indigenous tribes in Africa. As a result, she re-used EVERYTHING, inluding using shards of glass as knives, that sort of thing. I re-use stuff whenever and however I can, and I utilize Freecycle. Freecycle alone has saved me a ton of money (and I blogged about it today, what a coincidence!).
I have always been too proud to accept money from family until recently. My sister is always looking for handouts and has lived entirely off of them and public assistance for about 15 years, and I have always been determined not to be like her. But my dad, knowing how I felt about this, took me aside and told me that by not accepting help from him I was actually insulting him. He said that when he was my age, he and my mom had to accept help from family too (they never went on any assistance), and it was very hard to accept. But now that they are in a position to help their own kids, they are eager to do so and feel they are repaying the kindnesses they recieved by doing so. He says I will have the opprtunity to take care of them when they’re old, and my own kids when they hit hard times.
Even though we would be considered “rich” there are still some things that I insist on doing. I never just let the water run while I’m washing dishes or brushing my teeth, though I see others do it (well, that’s also an environmental thing). I also don’t throw out the leftover milk in my kids’ cups after they eat a meal. I put their cups in the fridge for the next meal (don’t worry, they do get clean cups often enough). I also wash plastic bottles. I wait until I have a full batch of laundry to do even if it seems like we don’t have clean clothes for a few days. I make sure all the leftovers in the fridge are eaten before I make another meal (I think this frustrates my hubby) so food doesn’t go bad. There are other little things that I do to save pennies that Adam thinks are a waste of time. Oh well. I like to do them.
I have never had to drink powdered milk. My hat is off to you, Shannon. Baking bread takes longer but tastes so good and is cheaper, right?–I still need Mom’s perfected wheat recipe. Homemade tortillas are definitely better-tasting. I’m excited for your cooking when you come to visit–like your homemade refried beans! Water is cheaper than Mountain Dew–:) LOL!!! (wink, wink, and all that jazz).
When we were first married we didn’t buy kleenex or soft toilet paper or even brand name toothpaste (I remember Tom teasing me about that one when you guys were visiting). Sometimes I’m really frustrated at how much we spend on what we’ve come to accept as needs.
Sorry, there’s not much of a point to this comment. Keep up the good work!
Your post makes me feel good about myself because we reuse water bottles too. We recently threw away a couple of water bottles that we have had for prob two years or so. On a side note, did you know that zabale means garbage in Arabic? I guess Zabaleen means garbage people. That really is poor.
As per baking bread, I did that for awhile, but it actually ended up beng more costly because we’d want to eat the whole thing as soon as it came out of the oven! I’d end up baking bread pracically every day, so it was costing more.
I like powdered milk and am using one of my food storage cans now. I’m learning how to be frugal. It’s a talent I think. I am trying to get there and your posts are a good start.
I just don’t buy food w/ the intention of using whatever’s in my cabinets but Steven’s too good to me and goes shopping. (He doesn’t like powdered milk.) My lack of planning meals leads him to do it for me.
Priorities are interesting. It has a lot to do w/ how you were raised, how your spouse was raised, and how you want to raise your own kids. (I still think an underwater camera is a need though:)
Tiffany, for sure if you are going to take pictures underwater, then it would probably be best to have an underwater camera.
I want your refried beans recipe! i just went through some old storage and found a can of pinto beans that need to be eaten.
I make beans myself too. I just soak dry beans overnight in the crockpot. Then next morning I rinse them, put them back, cover them with water, and add some onion powder, salt and pepper, and put it on low all day. Soooo much better than the canned stuff, and healthier, and cheaper!
Powdered milk is good to use when cooking. Other than that, I’m glad I own some and will use it if I need to, but yuck.
Marie–no wonder you are so thin!!
i do mine almost the same, except, i don’t soak them and i add more stuff. i do rinse carefully; once i didn’t and i had sandy beans. not so good. if you cover them with lots of water you can put it on high, and they can be done in about 4 hours, depending on how many you do, and since you’re going to mash them (i use a potato masher from the dollar store) it doesn’t matter if they explode. also, if you add tons of water at first, you can always take some out when they’re done, before you add the other ingredients.
i add the other stuff closer to the end: if i have time i mince up fresh onion and garlic (pwd is fine too). i add lots of cumin, lawry’s seasoning salt and some crushed red pepper flakes (all to taste) AND most importantly, i add a cube (or two, depending on quantity) of butter.
still healthier (i hope, got my fingers crossed on that one), cheaper and awesome tasting! they freeze well too in case you make too many. also, i love these for a hearty after-gym brunch with some runny eggs on top and a piece of bacon. i’m such a low-fat eater, i know!
i make homemade flour tortillas sometimes too, and those are sooo good. but i haven’t tried them with wheat flour and i need to. also, they get eaten so fast that it usually makes sense to buy them (like if you’re feeding snarfing missionaries who probably don’t care that you slaved over a hot griddle burning your fingers).
Adrianne, i couldn’t agree with you more on the taste. but on a 1/2 pwd 1/2 real mix, my kids didn’t notice the difference!!
I frugality and beans/rice, and thankfully I will proabbly get to eat many more cheap dinners in the near future.
I might have to try the powdered milk… did they notice a difference??
oh, should have read the comments…
Hey Gladis–so, that night i tried giving them the pwd milk/real milk mix in their drinking glasses (they ate it fine with their cereal in the morning), and Avery said, “um, mom, this doesn’t taste right,” so it’s fine for mixing with other things, but i think we’ll stick to the real stuff for straight drinking.
i am looking at this positively, and thinking, hey, this might be the best diet plan ever. maybe i can write a book in a couple months called, “the poor man’s diet” and sell a million copies (although i can’t help wondering if there is already such a book out there…). of course, chips are cheaper than broccoli, but if i just say i can’t afford any fast or junk food, then we really should save money and get healthier! YEA!
[...] loan, and a itty bitty substantial loan to both Dads for the Florida house fiasco. And whenever I remember the Zabaleen in Cairo, I know that we are blessed more than we could ever deserve or earn for [...]
[...] I know we’re in a recession, but it still makes me feel unspeakably wealthy and privileged whenever I take my kids to the dentist. There’s just something about all that equipment and technology being focused on my daughters’ teeth, which are going to fall out in a few years, that reminds me how incredibly different our lives would be if we’d been born in Garbage City. [...]