Another fun quiz (really, you gotta submit your results, or I will never advance in knowledge here).
What kind of woman are you?
(this one’s easy multiple choice; elaboration appreciated, but not necessary)
1) When you say “I just spent the whole day grooming,” you’re referring to:
a) time at a plush spa with treatments totalling over $1000.
b) hours at home with manicure and pedicure kits and your own highlighting cap.
c) 5 minutes in the shower of shaving your legs and applying the weekly 2-minute conditioner that came with your home dye job.
d) biting you nails (your toe nails) while enjoying some post-prandial TV watching.
2) When people ask what you do, you say:
a) I am so blessed to be a SAHM; my husband is the most wonderful provider, and we have 4 over-achieving children.
b) I work full-time at an office and have a nanny, but I would give ANYTHING to stay home with my kids.
c) Right now I change diapers and wipe snot and nurse and send kids to time-out, but I’m hoping to write a best-selling novel, earn a million dollars, and hire a nanny to do all the dirty work, while I alternate between creating art and enjoying the clean, good-smelling quiet times with my kids.
d) I think the Offpring song, “Why don’t you get a job?” is probably about me.
e) I’m a high-powered attorney/doctor/professor/presidential candidate. I may or may not have (had) kids, but I really don’t see why you can’t just get it all together and do something with your life, Jane.
3) When you go to the beach with friends, they think (but probably don’t say) about you:
a) Man, I really hate her; are you sure she didn’t adopt? No one has a body like that after giving birth.*
b) What, you say she is a dental hygienest (explains the perfect teeth) and used to be a lifeguard (explains the tan) and now she plans to run for Mrs. America?*
c) Well, I’m glad to see that other people have the same brownie fixations I do.
d) Dude! What is your kid on? Do you know she’s eating seaweed? Maybe she is iron-deficient or something, seeing as how you refuse to feed her solids?
4) Your idea of a fun outing without the kids (or dog or husband; whatever usually ties you down) is:
a) doing the weekly grocery shopping at Walmart.
b) a romantic dinner for two with Hubby (not at that Chinese buffet place, either).
c) a helicopter ride with Hubby in which your kids could, conceivably, though not probably, become orphans.
d) just 10 minutes, alone, in the bathroom.
I’m not entirely sure what your answers say about you. It might be fun to see if we could answer these questions correctly about each other, like that awful wedding shower game that proves that my husband, while exactly my match in every respect, has no idea what my favorite color is, or, at least, no idea what I would say is my favorite color.
*Sorry, Tiffany, I realize a & b on #3 are all about you — except for the Mrs. America thing, which I think you’d have a really good shot at. You probably need to have one more kid first, though, just to prove it wasn’t a fluke the first time.
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Can’t answer – can’t even breathe – laughing too hard. You should write a book, Shannon – it will be a best seller and the whole nation’s health will improve because of the extra laughter (the best medicine).
HA HA HA funny.. Lets see 1) C. of course that is providing I can get 5 mintutes alone, with out Aidan pulling up the curtains, Xander screaming about something Aidan did, with the 7 yr old informer Taylor, coming in to explain so he makes sure no one blames him and the 6 yr olc Cameron screaming hes lying mom. Ah showers and calgon take me away.
2) C. though I dont really plan on hiring the nanny, that would require the house to be clean all the time and really where is the fun in that. A good heathly dose of dirt never hurt most people.
3) D. my kids eat everything, and will try to eat things that are not food at all times. Im surprised All Childrens doesnt have a frequent visitor discount.
4) D. I will settle for just 10 mintutes ANYWHERE alone with or with out hubby!!!! Just not to hear MOM, do you know what blah blah blah.
1) C. I usually go to the store or something and see women with kids that are all dressed and looking perfect and I think to myself, “She’s got kids and she still got a shower. I gotta try harder.”
2) A. When someone that doesn’t know me asks what I do for a living I would use the A response but if you know me, I’d probably use the C response.
3) C!!
4) It depends on the week. If it’s a good week I’d be happy with B (I’d be happy just to go on a date without having to take the kids along). If it’s a bad week, A. Although, if I had all the money in the world, I’d love to go on a helicopter ride with my husband!
1. D – I have been known to bite my nails, yes – toe nails. Poor Dylan’s grooming is with my teeth too. Now that I’m seeing that my teeth are worn down because of it, I keep a nail file on me and file in sacrament meeting when Steven’s holding Dylan.
2. C – I do have big ideas, but it’ll take years of cleaning the runny noses and nursing before that.
3. no comment. I do have videos of Dylan eating sand instead of stopping him from eating it (last summer).
4. A – last night our venture was to Costco – my 1st of many times!
1) C extended to 20-25 mins. I have bad skin so if I’m really taking care of myself I have a prescription-strength lotion for my upper arms, plus hydrocortisone for my eczema on my fore-arms, zit cream on my face, lotion on my legs–often shave only past my knees, etc. And if I’m really feeling ambitious I’ll wear a little mascara.
2) I’m with Adrianne!
3) C–definite C. Sometimes I realize I still have the body image that I’m thin like I was before having kids. Having family pictures last month really shot that down for me. Blah. Especially compared to my stick-thin sisters-in-law. Whatever.
4) I’ll take any of them. The helicopter ride, by the way, was pretty cool, but I’m good for another 10 years before I need to do something like that again. I wonder why Adam loves it soooooooo much? My favorite is eating at a restaurant without kids.
Mine were all A’s, except the one about the beach.. I answered A but it could just as well have been D, but truly I hate the beach and wouldn’t go.
Oh wait, number 2 is C, not A.
1- IF i spent the WHOLE day grooming it would be (B)- but really it would just be a pedicure, i stopped coloring my hair 2 years ago, and that was probably the last time i painted my fingernails. 2- i’d have to say (A)– THOUGH, i only have one son- so i’m sure in the future it will evolve, i’d say (C), though i enjoy the dirty times as well as clean times, and yes, one day i would like to hire someone to do the deep cleaning once or twice a month in my house. 3- definetly (D) we were just at the beach and my son would not stop eating the sand, seaweed and anything else he could get his hands on that he isn’t allergic to. 4- probably (B)- because we do only have one kid right now, and he is an angel, we pretty much take him everywhere we go just because it’s more convenient than finding a sitter and he really is a good boy.
1) I shower everyday, but I don’t use nail clippers very often because I can’t find them. So every once in a while I bite my nails to trim them, but not out of a nervous habit. When I go to church or some other formal activity I put on make up because I may be taking pictures. And having good pictures is what life is all about.
2)Like you already know, I love staying at home where I’m the boss and I set my own schedule. My husband is God’s gift to me; he always helps and never complains and compliments me all day. And yes my kids are the smartest and the coolest and the cutest kids in the world. What can I say, they all look like my husband and hopefully will turn out like him as well. I sure hope they won’t turn out like me.
3)When I go to the beach with friends they usually worry about my kids playing in the mud, or with dead fish, and maybe eating seaweed, or wasp nests. They worry about these things becauase it’s hard for them to explain to their own kids why they aren’t allowed to do the things that my kids are doing. And no, no one envies my body, they may wonder why I’m so fat even though I don’t like any sweet things or any unhealthy food. I would eat a tomato or an apricot anytime over a cookie. My problem is that I want to eat 10 tomatoes and 40 apricots at one time, and believe it or not those foods have calories too.
4)Every day as soon as my husband walks in through the door, my fun without kids begins. I either go shopping with a friend, or I read a book, or stare at the computer, or type in my journal, or talk on the phone, or go to a meeting or a class. My husband says that he has only seen me change a diaper once, since he does all of the works when he is home. At night when I come home and the kids are in bed thanks to Josh, we watch an episode of “Lost” or “24″ for entertainment. Sometimes we go out, we trade babysitting with some other couple that has 3 or 4 kids. I don’t like to go out to eat because the food in restaurants never tastes as good as the food that I cook myself. So why pay more for things I don’t even like to eat? My food always tastes better.
Hey the above quote was written by sylwia not by joshua!!!!!!!!!
Josh is not a woman!!!
since Tara didn’t actually answer the questions, and since Melinda has been intimidated by cousin Sylwia’s amazingly (if unbelievably — tell me you are joking/being funny here Sylwia, at least a little bit, in parts?) good life, i thought it would be fun for me to answer the questions for them, like that wedding shower i alluded to. I should know these two women pretty darn well. tell me how i do, guys:
Melinda
1) c (hey, i went backpacking and roomed with you our freshman year at byu; i know you’re my kind of girl when it comes to grooming, although i think the sun gives you natural highlights, and you aren’t going gray like me yet)
2) a/c/e i think you’re a mix on this one. you love being a sahm, and hubby will be a good provider after medschool, but you’ve only got the one kid so far. c–i think you will be a special agent of some sort at some point, and e–i think you probably do get impatient with my whining sometimes, in that practical way of yours.
3) (remember, this is what i think you think people think about you). probably c or d–only with the sand, but if you’re completely honest, a little bit of a
4) the helicopter ride. i see you as pretty adventurous.
Tara
1) a–i know you aspire to a, though you’re probably thinking “1000? what is wrong with shannon: if i’m going to a plush spa, it’s gonna cost more like 10,000!”
2) c, baby, and we are gonna make it happen!! (while a in the meantime usually ain’t so bad)
3) (again, what i think you think they think) c–maybe i should be investing in brownie companies. duncan hines, to be precise.
4) b–only not with hubby, with friends! (oh, and not romantic in that case, but friendly)
Oh, and Marie, i wanted to say that it’s probably not such a bad thing that you moved from florida, because imo, the beach is the best thing about the place!!!
thanks to everyone for responding. i really enjoyed reading your answers.
in case you’re curious (you could probably tell), my answers would be:
1) c 2) c 3) c and 4) any of the above, but i’ll settle for d
Ah Shannon, how well you know me. You know I love brownies, dining out, and primping, probably in that order. And you also know I’m too lazy to want to do anything but stay home with my kids- unless inspired by you!
sorry jane, I wasn’t joking about anything that I wrote. I thought you knew that Josh was like that. I guess you will see when we spend a couple of days and nights together with you guys. I don’t really do anything “productive” ,but cook, when he is around. oh, and I tell him how wonderful he is all day. It’s pretty cheesy how I adore my husband and many people get annoyed about how I praise him all the time. I’m sure you’re starting to get annoyed yourself……
sylwia
sorry melinda for intimidating you with my easy life. I had a very traumatic childhood, if that is any consolation. I’m working on a story for mother’s day(late) that is very tragic. Maybe shannon will post it on her mother’s day thing she had a few weeks ago, if she likes it. I don’t know what religion you have (if any) but in the book of revelation God promises us that one day he will wipe away all tears from our eyes. for most people that will probably happen in the next life, but for me it has happened already when I got married. I may still have more tears to come, but the ones I had from childhood were wiped away by my husband (who is working for God). of course he will probably die(he’s in the military) and I’ll have to deal with that for the rest of my life. I’ll be this crancky widow that compares everyone to her deceased husband and no one measures up. but hey, for now I enjoy my easy life and I thank God every day for it……….
sylwia
Sylwia–when you say “And having good picture is what life is all about” — this is being funny, right? see, you are joking in some ways!!
oh, and Melinda didn’t use the word “intimidated”: that was my interpretation.
you might want to tone down the praise of joshua — if only so other women won’t be hitting on him all the time and trying to get him for themselves.
all right shannon, maybe the comment about the pictures was a bit exaggerated, but the other day I took grace to get her 15 month shots at the doctors office and of course she cried afterwards. So what do I do being the picture obessed person that I am? i take several pictures in the doctor’s office of grace crying. I probably should have been hugging her instead. hey, you could write a post about what a delinquent mother I am for taking pictures instead of giving hugs!!:))) I’ll send you the picture on email since i couldn’t post it here.
sylwia
ok Sylwia, thanks for almost(!) conceding a point. i’ll see if i can put your picture in this comment (we’ll see how techie i am becoming). Shannon
Help…I appear to have stumbled into a ‘women’s only’ blog…at least judging from the comments all coming from women. Funny to read anyway though.