I tried really, really hard to skip church today. I even told a few people that we would not be able to make it. I had a whole slew of reasons not to go.
Top 5 Reasons Not To Go To Church Today:
5) Dick is out of town.
4) I’m just barely starting to get over congestion and hoarseness from the volcanic ash that has finally dissipated.
3) Susan’s got green snot and Sally says her throat hurts. (Sally also “broke” her elbow this morning; luckily she is handy with a scarf-sling, and she forgot about it when the sacrament came by, throwing off the scarf and reaching for the tray).
2) We are now meeting in the Gulfport Senior Citizen’s Center, which has no nursery. NO NURSERY.
And the number one reason not to go to church today:
1) It is Mother’s Day.
The number one reason to go to church today (besides the whole “right thing to do” blah, blah):
1) My parents (my MOTHER) would be disappointed in me if they knew, and I would be upset if Sally remembered, some day, that Mom skipped church when Dad was out of town. Oh, and also, I just bought a size 10(!!) skirt on clearance at Walmart, and hey, I gotta show it off, right?
The Mother’s Day stuff was about what you’d expect (I love you, Mom!), but the whole NO NURSERY thing has got to go. Granted, Susan is the only 18 month-3 year-old kid in our congregation right now, but she counts for at least five normally-behaved kids.
Our Branch President’s (Pastor) wife asked me if Dick was with his mother today. I lost it: “Hah! That is not how our relationship works. If he were in the state, he would be here with me.” Of course, he is free to visit his mother any time, as long as he takes at least two of the kids with him.