At my last (paying) job, I had a lot of time to surf the internet. I could pump milk for Sally or breastfeed at any time (Dick brought her in when he had a class). I enjoyed philosophical discussions with my supervisor and officemate (like, which is better: flavored cream cheese, plain cream cheese, or tofu made to taste like flavored cream cheese?); we ate yummy lunches leisurely. No wonder I look back fondly on my “working” days.
One of my favorite sites to surf was the Miami Herald (this was before blogging). I wasn’t a Floridian at the time, and I wasn’t obssessive about Cuba, Art Deco or the South Beach diet. No, I was a Dave Barry fan. Somehow I lost track of Dave for awhile. Maybe it was the move to Cairo, but surely I could have looked his column up after actually moving to the Sunshine State.
At my current (nonpaying) job I have (make) a lot of time for surfing the internet. I can breastfeed Spot at any time. I enjoy philosophical discussions with my two-year-old (like, would you like to sit on your potty, NOW?); I eat, well, I eat a lot of broccoli and whole wheat and bittersweet chocolate right now. No wonder I sometimes feel just a bit … on edge.
I read the New York Times — what’s the web equivalent of cover-to-cover? And right in the Sunday Book Review (a day early!), I found my old friend Dave, writing about a subject dear to my heart, email. Here’s just a quick quote; I strongly recommend the entire review:
The authors also touch on a pet peeve of mine: people who abuse the ?Reply All? command. Perhaps you are one of them. You receive a message addressed to many recipients ? often a much-recycled joke, story, list, urban myth, etc. There are millions of these floating around; many of us simply delete them unread. But you, the ?Reply All? abuser, read it and decide to respond with some clever comment of your own (such as ?LOL?). And instead of hitting ?Reply,? which would inflict your reply only on the sender, you hit ?Reply All,? thereby forcing everybody on the recipient list to receive, and delete, yet another useless piece of e-mail. Please do not take this personally, ?Reply All? people, but: everybody hates you. We hate you almost as much as we hate the people who mass-mail this Internet sludge in the first place.
Of course, I ask all those whom I’ve offended, through misuse of “Bcc:”, “Forward,” “Reply All” and “internet sludge” to forgive me as I forgive them. The rare keepers (like the “why moms can’t do yoga” and the “very important warning”) are definitely worth the awful “mothers are the greatest, cry cry cry” emails that I know some people will be tempted to forward to me as we countdown to Mother’s Day. Please keep in mind: I’d much rather laugh than cry.
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why can’t moms do yoga?
Marcy–it involves breastfeeding, and nudity (necessary
). i’ll forward it to you. pretty funny!
I thought Dave Barry had quit his column to write books or something. I always enjoyed his columns; those, coupons, and Opus were my only incentives to subscribe to the neswpaper. Once Opus was scrapped and Dave Barry retired, no more paper for me.
I haven’t had to deal with the “reply all” thing too often, but boy do I hate those emails! I delete them all now, no longer caring if one might actually be funny or titillating. Also at the top of my list, while I care deeply about our troops and related issues, are the cheesy poems and anecdotes about poor soldiers chewing on coffee grounds and drinking their own sweat strained from threadbare bandanas while we gallavant around malls with lattes and crullers. I get it already! You can stop sending them!!!
Marie
Hi Marie,
you’re probably right about Dave Barry; his page at the MH has spotlighted old columns available. I remember reading a book of his about japan/tourism(?) sometime. i’ve been to japan, and found his book (of course) hilarious!
i guess i am still on the spectrum between loving and hating the email forwards. every once in awhile i get one that just tugs, tugs, tugs. but i don’t want to pray for someone dying of cancer if i’ve never met them. i probably don’t deserve to live myself since i feel that way, but, what can you do? ok, ok, i pray for them, once, but since i’m so hard-hearted, will my prayer do them any good?
I would love to see that ‘why moms can’t do yoga’ one…
This is the funniest part; I totally relate:
“I?ve been known to e-mail people who were literally standing next to me, which I know sounds crazy, because at that distance I could easily call them on my cellphone. But I prefer e-mail, because it?s such an effective way of getting information to somebody without running the risk of becoming involved in human conversation.”
that part was funny. seriously, though, if i really want to remember something i have to do, the best thing to do is send myself an email. because, come rain, come sleet, come snow, i check my email!