It’s so last month (when I was fiercely interested in this), but just a couple thoughts on UC from the past few days. I find it highly compelling/appalling that I, my sister, and at least one of my best friends feel very strongly that our first child and/or ourselves would have died if not for serious medical intervention at the delivery.
In my own case, I was two weeks overdue and experiencing much less fetal movement. When I was admitted to the hospital my amniotic fluid was (dangerously?) low and I was dilated to 1 cm. I was induced and 28 hours (not to mention the shadow of the valley of death) later, I held my slightly large baby.
My sister and my friend were each also overdue and had cords wrapped around necks and various other fetal and maternal distresses. Of course, some of these distresses are probably attributable to the induction techniques, and maybe I could have stayed at home waiting, waiting for that baby to come and everything would have been fine. There’s no way to know now. And in many ways, I am sad that I missed some of the ecstatic aspects of birth I might have experienced if things had been different.
I thought about emailing Rixa to ask at what point she would have gone to a hospital with her recent pregnancy. Would she have waited past two weeks overdue with a sluggish belly? But how could a hypothetical answer to a hypothetical situation shed light on anything?
I do worry, though — is our belief in the absolute necessity of medical intervention on this “natural,” “you’re-not-sick-you’re-pregnant” event appalling because we have been conditioned to just trust medical science and to believe that it saved us? That would be bad.
The worst argument, in my mind, for unassisted childbirth is that women have been giving birth at home for thousands of years. Not a good point — they were also dying for thousands of years. Of course, there are horror stories for both hospital births and unassisted births.
My friend offers a great analogy about the birth day. It’s like a wedding and reception, she says, compared to the marriage itself. The wedding lasts maybe an hour; the reception maybe even three hours. The marriage can last forever. Birth, in a hospital or at home, will only last — I don’t know, for some awfully unlucky women, maybe even a few days? But the having a kid and being a mother, that can last forever too.
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Maybe the doctor was lying to me, but I don’t think so, but she said if it had been a hundred years ago, I probably would have died in childbirth. There is just no way I could have gotten Callie out on my own. I felt lucky to deliver her vaginally and grateful for drugs that helped me do that.
I’m the sister, and I have a friend who is pro-unassisted childbirth. She is such a neat lady who is a do-it-yourself wizard, doing all sorts of cool things around the house (she built her fireplace mantle herself) on her husband’s teaching salary. Anyway, this friend told me about her sister’s experience trying to go completely natural with one of her children. She was doing “so well” until they realized the baby wasn’t going to come out vaginally. She had to have a c-section. My friend was so sad for her; she cried that she couldn’t do it naturally after all that preparation.
This friend also counseled me to have another VBAC for my 3rd child, but I decided to go with the doctor’s advice to have a 2nd c-secion in order to remove the ovarian tumor I had at the same time (he was concerned that the baby couldn’t even fit past the tumor in the birth canal–and he confirmed that when he pulled the baby out–he wasn’t down far enough to be able to come out vaginally).
Anyhoo, I talked to doctor Dad about the story of my friend’s sister and their attitude about the outcome of the birth, and Dad just said it was ridiculous. Years ago you got all the unassisted childbirth you could ask for, but women who needed c-sections were dying right and left. You can’t just live with a baby sticking half out of you. When they couldn’t get the babies out the women just waited around to die. Boy, that made sense to me! No offense to my friend, but why the heck wasn’t she feeling grateful that we have c-sections and good surgeons today? I’m sure grateful for them!!!
Melinda and Marcy,
thanks for the comments. I couldn’t agree more.
another point is that we don’t have to go back in time to see how wonderful UC is: right in our own little world (Africa, to start) there are women dying all the time as part of non-voluntary UC. what would they say to our rich american sisters who disdain the incredible availability of medical knowledge, personnel and facilities?
of course it’s stupid that some socialites or celebrities or whoever the heck they are opt for elective c-sections (sometimes irresponsibly early) in order to avoid the physical or emotional ramifications of labor and delivery. but i am glad that c-sections are as safe as they are here. i might need one someday.
I find this a little sad, as I am one of the few who opt for unassisted childbirth. It is my belief that most of us do not disdain medical professionals, but rather see them for what they are. Great for medical trauma, and not so great for the 95% normal childbirths. It’s a fact that many women and babies are hirt unnecessarily simply by being in a hospital to give birth. Women die at home, and women die in the hospital to give birth.
In Africa people are impoverished–this is the reason why death in childbirth is common. A healthy, strong woman giving birth in a clean and familiar environment will most likely have a good outcome. A woman who has not received adequate nutrition during pregnancy, who has worked hard etc, will likely have complications (PPH for example).
These are the reasons I gave birth unassisted:
I wanted a safe, familiar, controlled (by me) environment in order to fully focus on labor and the baby.
I wanted only people around that I felt 100% comfortable with–only my husband and son. A midwife would not fit that bill since I didn’t know her (I did plan a to have a midwife until the 7th month when I realized she was not a good fit for us). The reason for this is that a woman in labor, in order to fully open up and thus reduce likelihood of complications, must be under no stress whatsoever. I experienced this with my first birth in a hospital–I could not shake the fear of having possible interventions been done, I couldn’t stand the nurses who kept prodding me (this felt like torture to me), I couldn’t stand the lights etc etc. Dr. Michel Odent from France describes this in detail–women in labor under any amount of stress are in real danger of developing complications.
For pain management–having strangers around me increases the amount of pain I feel during labor. I labored alone the entire four hours my labor lasted. If my husband entered the bathroom where I was most of the time, I screamed at him to ‘get out!’ My second birth was so less painful than my first. At home with my first my pain was completely manageable, but as soon as I came to the hospital I started freaking out. And labor lasted for an entire day. My UC was painful but I did not panic. Having to rely on myself alone (no labor support–I did have a doula the first time) was the best thing for me. I truly discovered the strength I had within, which I would not have been able to with someone else present.
After realizing that we couldn’t afford a homebirth midwife, and having decided years ago I would never enter a hospital to give birth again unless medically necessary, I started doing emotional work on my fears surrounding birth. I realized that my only motive for hiring a midwife was out of fear of something going wrong. I did not want to make such an important decision from a place of fear, so I started working through it step by step. I discovered so much. I bought books–some on the emotional aspects of UC and others on midwifery. Both my husband and I prepared ourselves for any minor complications and how to deal with them, as well as recognizing complications that would require medical attention (we felt blessed to be within walking distance from the nearest hospital). My only worry was PPH–I did experience this with my first and it was abit scary. Not major PPH but still. That didn’t heppen the second time around, perhaps because I was not under stress, I did not have midwife tugging on the cord for the afterbirth, I had only labored for four hours vs 21 hours with my first…
So, I don’t know what time period was referred to in “…women dying right and left”, but it’s a myth that childbirth in itself is dangerous. In traditional cultures, those who still maintained a traditional diet and life-style, not those we tend to think of who are more in a transition from traditional to modern and have many health compliactions (from historical data as most truly traditional cultures have vanished today), women had much healthier outcomes. And please, let’s not forget that the US has one of the highest childbirth mortality rates in the western world, while having access to some of the best medical technology. Ask yourself, do you really feel 100% safe giving birth in an American hospital? I have to say no…
Oh, I also wanted to add that our UC was the most wonderful event of our lives. We felt utterly and amazingly blessed to have our child in such a peaceful place. Whenever I think of it, I get goosebumps. I chose not to give my power away to self-proclaimed ‘childbirth’ experts, and I can’t tell you how proud it makes me feel.
It felt so natural and perfectly normal. At the same time I realize that there is a definite place for medical professionals should there be any danger (remember, OB/Gyns are trained only in pathology–never in normal childbirth, this is what can make them dangerous; where you look for problems, there you will find them). However, for women like me there is no need to be in a hospital just ‘in case’–a woman truly in tune with herself will know instinctively if something is wrong.
Driving a car is way way more dangerous stastically (than giving birth), but we don’t think anything about putting a newborn in a carseat driving home from the hospital;).
“The Business of being Born” should give any doubtful woman some food for thought. Though not at all about UC, it questions the belief that birth is safe only in a hospital setting.