I feel like this is more of a letter to Dick than a journal entry, but maybe that’s okay. Yesterday we met Hannah, Brad’s fiancee. Sally couldn’t remember uncle Brad’s name without a lot of prodding, but we liked Hannah. She modeled her wedding dress for us and showed us her ring. She is happy and smart and seems mature enough for marriage.:)
Talking about her upcoming wedding and observing other marriages up close this past week and missing Dick have made me reflect on my own 8 year marriage. Last night I was thinking about our courtship and actual wedding day. Dick teases that I barricade myself with my 5 pillows at night (hey, I’m pregnant), but the truth is I always stretch out my hand so i can touch some part of his arm, back or shoulder as I drift off. I miss that.
We were talking about how marriages turn out good or bad on Sunday night, and Dad said “all marriages come from the same place,” which actually I completely disagree with (I know, big surprise that I’d disagree with my Dad); many people seem to marry for the wrong reasons or at the wrong time or place, and surely those marriages don’t start off with the same potential as the other ones (maybe they do. maybe you can view the marriage day as a new start, but it’s not exactly like baptism, is it?).
Anyway, his point was that marriage is what you make it (my words) and that saying you have a bad marriage says a lot about you as a person. Marriage is a lot of work, blah blah blah. I almost feel guilty for having such a great marriage without having had to do so much work.
Of course, Dick still leaves (gets in the car anyway)? before I’m ready to go (pet peeve #1) and slurps his? food (#2), and sets the table wrong and leaves the toilet seat up, the cap off the toothpaste and the toothbrush itself (which we have shared for over 5 years–with different replacement heads!) in weird places (I might do this last one myself on occasion). But I really love him, and if I had to live long-term without him, I would need a lot more caffeine than my current half-can a day intake.
I mentioned last night that I’ve become aware, recently, that we were pretty tacky in having Dick wear tails for our wedding when the attendants all wore plain suits (among other etiquette concerns), but he looked extremely handsome, and young. Our wedding in the Manti Temple, our reception in my parents’ gorgeous backyard and our marriage have been better than anything I could salivate over in a glossy magazine.
(Our wedding night could have been quite a bit better, but the honeymoon, 8 years and 2 1/2 kids have resolved my fears that an annulment due to innability to consummate would be necessary).
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I’m not exactly sure what your Dad means when he says “all marriages come from the same place.” Does he mean they all start in love? I’m confused. They all come from the heart?
I agree that marriage requires effort, but it seems clear to me that some marriages would require an extreme amount of effort, while others wouldn’t require as much. I like to think we have the latter.
I would comment more but I need to go mow the lawn. It is like a jungle out there. Also, we got a water notice saying our water had been on for the last 4 days and leaked 13,000 gallons. I’m scared to see how much that will affect our water bill. I did check the hose outside and it was slightly turned on. Maybe a slow drip?
Shannon, you do so much to keep up the house. I have said that before but now I’m really coming to grips with it.
Tom,
did you turn on the hose at some point? 13k gallons is quite a lot. are they sure? can we contest that? did/is someone stealing our water? i don’t think we can pay for that.